One moment, I was standing in the doorway, staring at this gorgeous girl in a blue dress. Next, I was drunk on her scent, my nose buried in her hair. I gently pulled her curls aside, exposing her neck and sending shivers down her spine.
“Hazel, I’m not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to, I swear. But you have to tell me. Is this okay? Can I touch you?”
No, no... it will mess you up. Don’t do it. Practice some self-preservation for God’s sake.
But I didn’t care. I only cared about her. Hazel stayed motionless, so this could go horribly wrong, or...
Silence stretched between us as we breathed in the moment of ...almost. Of maybe. Of want pressed up against fear. Of everything we didn’t say, fighting against everything we felt.
Hazel was gripping the counter, but I didn’t dare to touch her without her permission. Somewhere deep down, I wished she’d refuse me, get angry at my audacity after everything we talked about. But she did no such thing.
“I think I’ll actually die if I can’t touch you. Can I...?”
A nod and a quiet ‘You can,’ barely louder than the rain outside, let me release a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. My forehead pressed against the back of her head, and I closed my eyes for a moment, dizzy with need. Hazel was trying to compose herself, but we were both caught in this spell. I’m not sure there was anything in the world that could’ve broken us free.
My fists unclenched, and I slid my hands onto her hips, turning her toward me, my fingers tracing her body withoutever losing contact. Slowly. Satisfyingly. She lowered her gaze, watching where my hands met hers.
“I have to be honest. I promised I wouldn’t make any advances at you because you’re helping me, and you’re just... too good for me. But you...” I exhaled sharply, trying to steady myself. “I can’t control myself around you. It’s not just my body that craves you. It’s everything. Your smile makes my whole day better.” I grazed my knuckles against her cheek. “And I just want to keep you happy all the time. Play chess with you, take you to the ocean, the bookshop, buy you ice cream. It really messes with my mind. I can’t think of anything else.”
Her shallow breaths made her chest rise, and I noticed tan lines peeking from her dress straps.
“Ice cream sounds good,” she whispered, “but it’s not what I want right now.”
“What do you want, Hazel? Tell me. Please...”
I gave her my most devilish smile, but it wasn’t just desire. I felt genuinely happy she let me hold her, touch her, breathe the same air as her. My fingers traced the hem of her little blue dress, the one that had lived rent-free in my mind since morning. Slowly, I lifted it, my hands caressing her smooth legs. Hazel was trying to control her breathing but wasn’t managing too well. It was one of the sexiest sights I’ve ever witnessed—her gaze following the path of my hands, slowly making their way up.
She was hesitant. I knew she was afraid to beg people, even for something she wanted. Even if it was just for this night. But I also knew she wanted this as much as I did. That was what kept me going. And if there had been even a flicker of reluctance, I would’ve stopped. I don’t know how, but I would have. And still, I was so grateful—for this moment, for having her here in my life, even if it couldn’t last.
“What do you want?” I whispered against her ear.
“A release,” she murmured, tilting her head back, her eyes still closed as I squeezed her thighs.
For the love of God, what did she just say?!
She opened her eyes, her gaze uncertain, as if afraid she was asking for too much without realizing my greatest fear was not being able to give her enough. I leaned in, brushing my lips along her jawline.
“Ah, sweetie,” I murmured, “I think we can arrange that.”
Lifting her onto the edge, my hands traced their way upward, my thumb grazing her inner thigh. Hazel gasped, watching me, waiting. I trailed my lips along her collarbone before leaving the lightest kiss on her neck. She shivered, head resting against the tile behind her. My fingers curled into the fabric of her black panties as I tried to slow myself down.
“I just need a second,” I murmured, feeling inexplicably lost in my chest. “Once I...” I trailed off, closing my eyes as her fingertips glided over the skin under my shirt. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself this time unless you tell me to.”
Hazel looked at me, terrified yet impatient. Maybe she was afraid I’d give her everything she longed for, but only this once. Just this fleeting moment in her life. Maybe she feared that if she let me in, if she allowed herself this moment, she would no longer belong to herself. That she’d forever belong to someone else. And maybe—just maybe—I felt the very same way.
She’d fought so hard to find peace, to feel like herself again, to live beyond the weight of other people’s choices. That was the beauty of Hazel. Not just in what she had survived, but in the quiet strength that carried her forward. And she deserved to feel, to want, to exist in the bittersweet in-between. And selfishly, I felt like she thought of me as her bittersweet moment.
And then it happened. Her soft lips found mine without warning, and suddenly, nothing else existed. I forgot everything.Every reason why I shouldn’t kiss those lips, every excuse I had made. The world outside didn’t matter. Only her. Only this.
I needed her so much. So much it scared me. I knew if I stopped to think, fear lurking from the depths of my mind would find me.
But in this moment, filled with everything I felt for her, there was no room for anything but gratitude that I was right here, right now. Kissing Hazel like I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone else.
So I let go.
I slowly lifted my hands, cupping her cheeks as gently as I could, but the need for her quickly became unbearable. And once she parted her lips, I let my tongue explore, drawing a moan from Hazel that sent a pulse of heat through me. That sound alone left me hard beyond imagination. I pressed her closer, deepening the kiss, both of us unraveling. Becoming wilder.
A hint of gin lingered on her tongue, mixed with the taste of cherries. I pulled her in tighter, one arm sliding between her shoulder blades. My hand brushed her left nipple through the thick fabric of the dress, but it was enough for her to suck air in her lungs a bit too loudly. Her forehead fell on my shoulder as she clung to my arms for balance.
