Kelter huffs.Asshole.
She’s worried about you. Why didn’t you pick her instead of that Half Link? I bet if you had said please, she would’ve slapped some cuffs on you first.
You have no idea what I like.
Don’t worry, you’ll learn from me.
His annoyance drips through me.Ever’s your first,he accuses.
In this lifetime.
And now I have your lifetimes of experience too, including your father with our mother so maybe you shouldn’t be spouting that stuff like you’re the only one who has all these memories.
I tense, folding my rage inward.I’ve lived with those memories for years.
And I remember every mopey day you went through. That’s over now. I gave you Ever. All I ask is that you leave all that behind and make her happy.His tone softens, padded with nostalgia.And let her read to you. Give her potatoes when she gets down. And coffee, of course. And once no one’s trying to kill her, take her out to the forest so she can work on her maps. That’s how she works through the hard stuff in life. And whatever you do, don’t tell her how you feel. She’ll panic.
How much do I not know about her? How can I be so captivated when she has a whole life I’ve never known? With Kelter. It’s the next question my mind serves up that worries me most, that makes me see how far gone I am, how destructive she is: would she read to me too, if I gave her the chance? Maybe she does only want me to get her off and nothing more. Like it has to be.
She would,Kelter says, and I feel him slip away.
“Who’s the kid?” Sypher asks, draping his hand over Kaleida’s shoulder and jutting his chin toward the child.
The kid steps forward, head held high. “Atom. I’m here to set things right.”
Milo frowns down at him. “What does that mean?”
“Later,” I say, before the kid starts talking again. He’ll tell them anything he wants, and clearly he knows too much. He scowls at me before sitting a ways away, stick in hand, drawing in the charred dirt.Better.
“We need to figure out what’s next.” Milo says. “This isn’t over just because we destroyed the teva fields.”
“No, it’s not,” Kaleida agrees, “but at least the Hollows will regain awareness and stop dying once the elixir clears from the water. That’s a start. Then we’ll undo the Separation and rebalance the magic cycle. Simple,” she adds with a grimace.
I find Ever’s face. “Since that matters to you, I guess.” She glares at me, and fuck—I want to smile again. She’s toxic.
She turns around in my arms to face the others. “Calderans will start to find their way into Sonnet and—”
“And get killed,” Sypher interrupts.
“Let her speak, or I’ll slice off your tongue.” I unsheathe my knife.
“I didn’t—” Sypher begins.
I reach past Never to close his mouth with the flat of my blade. “Trust me. You’ll want that particular body part someday soon.” The option to take his life pulses in my mind, as though some part of me wants it. Craves it.
What is going on? I consider killing people all the time, but not my friends.
Resist,Kelter says.It’s only going to get worse.
What is?I ask, but he’s silent.
Sypher backs away. I hold my knife ready for the next fool to interrupt Never.
“Put that thing down.” She whacks my arm downward, and I find a new spot for the blade—under her chin.
“Here?” I ask. How deep would I have to cut to feel her warm blood on my hands? Only a little. I expect her heart to beat with fear or maybe anger at the way I have her trapped in my arms, but it’s arousal that streams from her into me in an explosive rush. She loves a knife to her neck. I press myself against her back, responding to her reaction.
She doesn’t even try to whisper. “Is that necessary right now? One step to the side and everyone will have a perfect view of how hard you are.”
