I control my response with a long breath through my nose. I can’t block Eli from my thoughts if I get too worked up, and I’m already trying to push down the lingering effects of linking along with his near-constant desire since he found Ever. He’s with her right now. I can feel her hand around him—on me. It’s too hard to block. But at least I can keep him from seeing where I am. The lovesick fool would come save me purely to prevent her from becoming a Half Link. So he can’t knowI’m here. “I came to you because I wanted you to separate me from Eli. She wasn’t part of this.”
“Your mistake was not telling me who she was,” he retorts.
“It was none of your concern.”
“How is Malachite’s spawn none of my concern?” he booms, fire in his green eyes.
He can’t snatch me by surprise when Eli already told me, but I still haven’t gotten over finding outmyEver is a demigod.
Zandrite tosses the bone onto a pile behind him. I wouldn’t know what creature it came from, but I can’t unsee the Vaile bones it now rests with. He paces around the room, the roots caressing his shoulders as he passes beneath them, curling around his neck with affection.
“Hungry?” he asks.
I’m about to answer, only remaining silent when it registers he’s looking up and talking to the roots, not me. They lower to the floor and squirm about, searching.
“Patience, my friends.” Zandrite chuckles and heads toward a two-by-two foot black door about waist-height on the wall, then flips it down with a clang. The stench hits me before I can process the sight. Rotting meat. Sour milk. And the unmistakable scent of death.
Piled inside are what can only be described as sacks of skin and organs, too limp for bones, too flat for blood. He drags one out, and with a sickening slap of skin, another takes its place from above, as though they’re stacked inside a chute connected to the next floor up. He hauls the body across the room by a handful of hair, and the remaining organs gather in bulges in the legs and feet, stretching the skin. The rest is like an empty pillowcase.
The roots dive for the corpse before he even reaches them, sweeping it off the floor and curling it into their grasp. They retreat into the ceiling, and an ear-splitting screech showers the room, the same one we heard each evening shortly before the Scrape started, but louder. Vibrations scatter outward. I instinctively try to cover my ears, only to be stopped by metal chains. My bones rattle out of place. Tendons snap. I’m sure my eardrums explode. Then it’s over. Everything falls back into place. I gasp, holding onto my control the best I can.
What the fuck was that?Eli asks.
Shit.Nothing. I’m closer to that sound. Go live your damn life.
Are you happy now? She can’t stop worrying about you.His anger steams through me, mixed with the intensity of his love for her. And his arousal. The combination hurts.
I close my eyes long enough to block the pain, the guilt. I miss her so much. I miss how I spent every day waiting for her to get off work, instead of trying to stay alive. How quiet she’d get, kneeling on the forest floor with her pen to a map. How she’d let me talk about all the horror movies I wanted her to watch with me. Now I understand why she didn’t want to, her explanation. She said there was already enough death to go around. I didn’t realize it was in her head. I miss how she’d turn around and smile at me and tell me she didn’t hear a word I said. And how I knew she was lying.
And most of all, I miss not having to share her with a single soul.
Isn’t this what you wanted?I ask.Me out of the way?
I want her to be happy when I chain her to my bed, not worrying about you. I feel you thinking about her,Eli says.You’re blocking everything else.
The jerk doesn’t even have a bed anymore. Blood drips from my ears to my bare shoulders and dribbles down my chest.Yeah, I’m finally happy. I wanted a life in Sonnet, and now I have it. Go make her smile.
Liar.Eli’s presence backs away. But he’s here with me. Always.
I settle my feelings again. Detach. Keep Eli in the dark. It’s only been a day since I took Paisel against the wall. I had to rebalance my magic from linking and sate my urges. And calm my cravings. It worked, but I feel like shit about it, and they’re coming back already. Being with her wasn’t enough. I need the sweet sensation of taking a life, a last breath in my face. But I don’t want to be like this. I hate it. And myself. That was the thing about Caldera: I could be the good man I truly am. Not even Ever saw what’s underneath.
Blood could keep me in check for short periods if I had it, like it has helped me stay stable so many times before, but Zandrite’s withholding everything from me. None of this makes sense. Linking was supposed to stop my cravings, not make them stronger.
My foot bounces, nervous energy scampering up and down the length of me. The chain on my ankles rattles. Here, restrained by metal and guarded by a god, the realm is safe from me. But what happens when my cravings become intolerable, when they’re so strong I’ll kill without thought?
What happens when I can’t block any of it from Eli anymore? When he takes on my desire to kill, my thirst for blood?
And Ever is the only one in sight?
Chapter 40
ELIVANDER
After letting Never sleep almost until dawn, it took hours to make it out of the Underbroke without being seen. And used up all my patience listening to that kid. He talks as much as she does, butherI can handle—those sweet lips and voice like a godsdamn breath of fresh air.
Even beneath the heavy dark clouds smothering any hint of the sun, the morning clarity of the outdoors sears my eyeballs. I squint. And breathe. We made it out. And I didn’t even strangle the child. I hope I never have to go back down there.
It’s not only the brightness that stings my sensitive eyes. The air smells smoky. Burnt brush. And that familiar peppery scent. I focus my senses, listening for distant sounds to find the others, but Never’s heart beats so loud next to me that I can barely think—another way she weakens me. I look at her, those indigo eyes watering from the smoke and taking in the charred teva fields, rough on our bare feet. Black extends in every direction.
