Good. It’s time to play.
“Wake up, Milo. Change of plans.”
He stirs, throwing a leg over Kaleida’s back and sleep-mumbling. “Hands off my sister.”
“Milo,” I hiss. They all managed to stay awake despite the late hour, listening to every godsdamn sound Never and I made in the bathroom, but now it’s like trying to wake a corpse.
He rolls the other way, abandoning Kaleida and hugging Sypher. I pull on his shirt collar. “I’m leaving. You’re in charge.”
Sleepy blue eyes blink up at me. “Where are you going?”
“After Never. She left for the Underbroke.”
That wakes him up. “Why would you let her do that?”
“I like a good chase.” I kneel down to go through my pack and pull on my suspenders. “Finish gathering supplies and go to the teva fields.”
Milo rubs the sleep from his eyes, yawning. “You can’t cross through Sonnet alone right now. It’s a death sentence. For her too.”
“I’m taking half the teva and ammo,” I say, sliding blade after blade back into place across my chest, the small pockets on my suspenders already loaded with marbles. I slip a knife into each boot, another behind my back and my slingshot into a pocket. Death is not a concern for me. But I’ll be aware of every second without my knife and think of her.
She spent a full ten minutes stealing it, easing it out of my side pocket bit by bit. I’m not sure why she had to havethatknife when elevenmore were unattended on the floor. Maybe she wanted me to catch her. Stop her? Punish her? I held back. I could feel the worry in every beat of her heart, whether it was for Kelter, herself or me, I can’t know, but I felt it. I wanted to gather her up and chain her to me to keep her from leaving. But that would have been painful with her lack of control right now, and I couldn’t resist the chase. But more than anything else, sheneededto go.
Milo stands, stumbling and nearly stomping Sypher’s face. “Let me go with you.”
“No.”
“You’re as stubborn as Ever. Let me help.”
My strength falters. “I don’t need help. I only needher.” I stand up and throw the pack over my shoulder. “Get rid of that body before you leave for the fields. I don’t want her room to smell like rotted Hollow.”
“Eli?” He follows me to the door. I turn, catching the dread in his eyes. “Aren’t you worried about the second half of the curse?”
I flinch.Every second.
I told him about the cruel curse after I received my father’s memories and found out how much my mother’s other lover hated my existence. Milo’s the only one who knows about the full curse or cares to keep me in check.
I glance at the others, making sure they’re asleep. “There’s not a chance in the world she’ll ever love me.”
But what if she’s caught in the effects of the curse, drawn to my light side as much as my darkness? I have to control her heart… on the impossible chance I’m not completely unlovable.
Milo doesn’t know I stole a piece of her heart. As long as I hold her at a distance, I can keep her without triggering the rest of the curse. But every time I let her feel too much toward me, I have to fight to keep her heart in line.
Milo gives me a dubious look thrown off by his grin. “Her cries from the bathroom earlier might suggest otherwise, friend.”
That’s between her and me. I pull on my ear then cross my arms. “She likes a good fuck to distract her. That has nothing to do with love. Plus, I didn’t even touch her. Ican’t.”
His eyes narrow. “Since when do you offer such favors? We know she’s not a Hollow, so what is it that has you so obsessed? Do you loveher? Because then you really do need to worry about the curse. If she loves you back, it’s over.”
A true friend, at least I want to believe he would be, even without the curse only showing him my light side. “She has something I need. That’s it.”
Milo slaps a hand over my shoulder, squeezing. “You cut a man’s balls off to give to her. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
My jaw clenches at the truth he so easily sees. I’ve been too nice. That has to change, but I don’t know how to stay away, and lying to Milo gets me nowhere.
“You do love her.” He laughs and smacks the side of my head.
“She’s tolerable,” I grumble.
