I can’t speak, much less escape from beneath him. But even as warmth crawls over me, as tingles reach my fingers and toes, I know—he needs to satisfy his urge to kill. Or fuck to take the edge off. And I don’t want to be a part of either. But another way exists.
I put a hand on his cheek, my fingers buried in his hair. My eyes can’t communicate the three words I need. They’re too loaded with emotion, with a plea to breathe, a tenderness toward him. He’s at his weakest on the inside, even with the lethal strength around my neck.Take my blood.One deep drink and it will hold him over. It’s already spilling freely.
Any second now he’ll realize. He’ll let go. I’ll breathe.
Green splashes over his darkened hazel eyes, and I don’t know who stares down at me. He lacks the brutality of a man on the brink of killing. Instead, his expression is warm, enticing. I’m the only one in his entire world. The intensity of our connection is dizzying. Black clouds crowd the edges of my vision. Spots form. I fight them, trying to hold his gaze as long as possible. I can’t hear the others anymore. No punches or grunts. No shouts or cries.
“Ever,” Kelter whispers, his voice like a favorite memory, distant and hard to hold onto. “I’m so sorry. You know this isn’t me. It’s something I can’t escape. I don’t want to do this. But your eyes are even more beautiful knowing I’m the last one to see the life in them. Don’t you close those gems.” He leans down and softly kisses my cheek, his grip on my throat tightening with the movement. I’m cold and numb and only feel a slight pressure.
I hear Eli.Lesson number four: don’t let anyone kiss you.
But I can’t make it stop. Can’t stophim. My arms are as useful as a wilted plant. They disobey every command to gather strength and push him off me. One breath, and I can offer my blood instead.
I drift further from any sense of logic. It’s only the two of us. I try to care that I’m going to die, but I can’t remember anything but this moment, can’t reach back to life. It’s more distant with every second. Darkness holds me tight through every missed breath.
Chapter 56
EVER
Igasp, the intake of air excruciating. The rush of oxygen is partnered with an avalanche of awareness, burying me in reality—the soreness of my neck, what Kelter was about to do, how helpless I was.
I sit up and hold my throat. Where is he? The room spins. The walls flip and fall until I find Kelter. He’s a few feet away, lying flat on his back. And everything clicks into place.
Eli kneels over Kelter, serving blow after blow to his sunken face. Roots hover above, as though taking a break from attacking to watch the scene below. Milo attempts to pull Eli off him, but retreats after he’s nearly clobbered by a stray fist. Kaleida tries to reason with him, panicked cries that fall on deaf ears. He’s far from rational.
Eli’s hair is wet with black blood. It trickles down his neck and back, squiggling between the two black marks. His fist smashes into Kelter’s jaw. “You want to kill someone, you kill me! As many times as it takes for you to never touch her again!”
Kelter can’t get in a single counterpunch with the speed Eli batters his face, accelerating with every meeting of knuckle and bone. But it doesn’t matter. Because Eli feels every slug he delivers on his own face. Blood spatters. The sound is dreadful.
Stop!I try to scream, but my throat is shredded. I crawl toward them. As soon as I’m within reach of Eli, I wrap my arms around his waist and pull.
He twists around at my touch, instantly ripped from his delirium, eyes wild with rage. “Never.” Before I can burst into tears, he climbs off Kelter and gathers me into his arms. And up onto his lap. His hands hold me close, firm. Safe. Kelter moans next to him.
“Kelt,” I scrape out, but he can’t hear my lousy attempt at speech.
“Satisfied?” Eli asks him. “I can feel you are.”
Kelter’s chest rolls with the heavy breath he whistles out. He lets his head fall to the side, exhausted resignation loosening his bloody features. “Yeah. The blood helped.” His tongue slips between his cracked lips, licking up the fresh coat of red. “Thanks.”
“You lose it again, and I’ll take you out of your misery. I don’t care if you’re linked. I don’t care how strong the cravings are. You will not put your hands on her like that again.” Eli elbows him in the balls for good measure.
I search the room for more threats. Zandrite rises again, regaining his strength from whatever state Eli left him in. Milo and Kaleida, now across the room and focused on Zandrite, leap to tackle him back to the floor.
I jerk in Eli’s grasp. “Help them!” Daggers line my throat. My yell is hardly more than a harsh whisper.
Eli’s face contorts, his heart torn. With an unexpected gentleness, he sets me down. But he doesn’t let go. Can’t, I suspect. Then, one deep breath later, he stands and drops his knife into my lap. “Stop saving the rest of us, and do what no one else can.”
I grip the sheathed end in one hand, handle in the other, watching him run to help.If you only believe in one thing, let it be you.I can almost hear Ametrine’s tranquil voice. I got this. I do. Eli deserves his fix, and Zandrite has to be stopped.
I won’t sit back and let life happen to me anymore, let magic happen to me. Facing the truth is the only way I can learn to trust the world around me again. And myself. I’m tired of secrets and lies. Of deals and deceit. Of denial.
Kelter sits up, his face already swollen and discolored. He scoots closer to me on his knees. “Ever, I’m—”
“No.” I stop him, swallowing past the burn in my throat. “You don’t get to fucking apologize.”
“I can’t lose you.” His fingers reach just shy of my cheek.
“Maybe try not to kill me then.”
