Hunger thickens every breath, but it’s secondary.This isn’t about taking.
It’s about anchoring.
The aggression bleeds off slowly, his mouth softening, and my grip loosening.We breathe into each other, foreheads brushing and lips still touching.
When he eases back, my pulse has slowed.The images have receded.The chaos in my head has been pushed into folders I can manage again.
I have my control back.And I know, with a clarity that cuts through everything else, that he gave it to me.
“Why did you do that?”I suck in a breath.“Why did you kiss me?”
“You were short-circuiting.I had no other choice.”He drapes his forearms over my shoulders and sits back, relaxing his weight on my lap.“That’s the story I’ll tell Dove.”
Her name sends a bolt of cold lightning through me.
He sees it.“You keep telling me she’s safe, but after that call… Who the hell was that?”
“The kingpin of the Colombian cartel.”
“You’re fucking with me.”
“Wish I were.”
“Cool.Cool, cool, cool.Just casually chatting with He Who Shall Not Be Named near, around, or in front of the Russians.Tell me the part again where she’s safe.”
“I’ll show you.”I motion at the other kitchen chairs.“Pull up a seat.”
“Not yet.”He remains straddled on my lap, his arctic eyes scanning my face, taking a second assessment as if the breakdown a minute ago disqualifies me from making decisions for a while.
Fair.
“I know how this looks.”I let out a breath and tip my head back.“But this isn’t new.”
His brow clenches.
“I cracked like that a few times.”I squeeze his legs.“Usually after something happened to Dove.When a foster brother touched her or a boyfriend assaulted her.Every time someone hurt her.I handled it, ended the problem, and washed the blood off my hands.I had to be strong for her.But when she was safe and asleep, I went somewhere alone and fell apart.Sometimes I cried.Sometimes I put holes in walls.Sometimes I just sat in the corner and shook until it burned itself out.There was never anyone there to pull me back.I never had someone grab me and yank me out of my head like that.Definitely never had someone kiss me hard enough and mean enough to shut out the pain.So… Thank you.”
“You never have to thank me for kissing you.”Wolf’s mouth curves, feral and soft all at once.
That almost pulls a laugh out of me.
“I’m okay now.”I run my hands along his thighs, not asking him to move, just grounding us both.“We’re getting her back.Just focus on that.”
“You’re so disgustingly in love with her.”He pokes my chest.
“So are you.”
“Madly.”He dips his head and touches his lips against mine, chastely, sweetly, as if to prove not all his kisses are hard and mean.
Then he climbs off my lap and pulls up a chair.Back to business.
“Right.”I crack my knuckles and turn toward the keyboard.“I’ll show you why she’s safe.”
Wolf makes the most colorful faces when he’s thinking hard.
His mouth pulls to one side.His brows pinch, one higher than the other.He squints at the screen, lips parting.A second later, his jaw bounces, and his tongue presses against his cheek.
There it is, thethis is bullshitlook, followed by a slow blink.
