“You can’t sacrifice yourself,” I began, but Rumple’s short laugh stopped me.
“What, are you the only one who’s allowed to sacrifice?”
“Well, it’s my name and all.”
Both men stared at me, with identical grave expressions, until Rumple spoke softly, “Be careful, love. That sort of hubris is what kept me in the Abyss for over a thousand years.”
The room fell silent, until I nodded. “You’re right. Thank you, Gavriel.”
Rumple’s gentle smile with fangs was turning into one of my favorite sights. “In any case, Gavriel’s fate is tied to yours. If he chooses to give you his soulfire, that is the right and duty of a soulmate.” He placed his clawed hand on Gavriel’s forehead, and did something—it looked as if he pushed some of his own energy into Gavriel, since his golden glow increased. “And if he wants to share my soulfire, that is his decision as well.”
“Why were you so sad, just now?” I asked Gavriel. “Do you wish we weren’t… you know?” I tapped my chest.
“I never imagined I would share a soulmate,” he replied after a long moment. “I have no expectations. I haven’t earned your trust or even your civility, Feather. And I apologize for revealingmy weakness, to both of you. You have a long, shared history. Stories and jokes, and a physical connection that I will never know. It doesn’t make it easier to understand that I did this to myself. I destroyed that possibility, and I regret it. Not that you were meant to be mine, but that I… I will attempt to keep my feelings in check. I apologize.”
The awkwardest of silences ensued. Gavriel’s eyes stayed on the ground. Rumple stared at me, but didn’t say anything. I scuffed the floor with a toe, trying to kick up a tiny piece of glitter there. “So, about the whole soulmate thing….” Rumple moved away, and began doing something with the soul knife and the big cauldron. There was no real privacy here, but I appreciated the thought.
“Feather, please. I didn’t mean to even hint that you would ever—” I slapped a hand over Gavriel’s mouth. The glitter on his skin was crunchy under my fingers.
“You havegotto stop acting like you know what I want. Like it’s your decision to make.” I waited for his head to come up; I detested the shame-filled way he held himself around me. “Understand? We didn’t have all those years together, like I did with Rumple. And we got off to a rocky start for sure. But I recognize the good in you, Gavriel the Grumpy. I know you had trouble seeing me, but I’ve always seen you.” He raised a hand to pull my fingers away, but I clamped them tighter. “You need to let me talk. I don’t want you to say anything until I’m done.”
He lowered his arm, and I dropped my hand, which was tingling a little bit. Had it always done that when I touched him? I knew I clenched a lot down south of the beltline when he was around, but his lips… He’d kissed me once, and I wanted that again.
No. I wanted to kisshimthis time.
“It’s my choice, isn’t it? If we get to be soulmates for real, like merging and stuff. The physical and the emotional. Ball’s inmy court, right?” I rubbed the feather on my chest. “You never meant for this to be inside me, so to begin with, I don’t think we’re actually soulmates. We’re something different, maybe something more. But I don’t blame you for not recognizing me—not everyone is as intelligent and perceptive as I am. And you’re pretty, so you probably haven’t had to work at those traits.”
Across the Hall, Rumple burst into laughter. “Did you just tell him it’s a good thing he’s pretty?”
I glared at him until he acted busy again, then turned back to Gavriel, who was looking a bit stunned. “The thing is, if we’re actually bonded—the way Mikhail and Righteous and I are—that will only make us stronger. So I was thinking about merging.”
His lip curled. “I will not merge with you as a strategy to win a battle. I have more honor than that.”
I shrugged, like it didn’t matter, even though it really, really did. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I think we could all die in the next few hours, and I don’t want that to happen if there’s anything I could do to stop it. And maybe…” I steeled myself. “Maybe I want to see what your soul looks like on the inside. And let you see mine. Truthfully, I wanted to jump your beautiful bones from the first minute I saw you, even though I was covered in spiritual sewage. I never thought I was good enough for you. But now I think, maybe I always was. And maybe we’d be good together. Better, even.”
The gold in his eyes sparkled so brilliantly, I was momentarily entranced. “Now, I want to see if you’ve learned anything from our little talk, Gavriel. Can you keep quiet?” He nodded, slowly. “Right. Then do as I say. Sit on your hands.” His eyes flashed, and I bit my cheek to keep from laughing. “Do it. Sit on your hands and close your eyes.”
He sighed, but did just that. I grabbed a cloth from the closest table and sang my best cleaning song as I wiped at his face. Not all of the glitter came off. I knew it never would.
“From now until the end of all the realms, every time you look in the mirror, you’ll see glitter. It will drive you mad.” His lips tightened. “I mean, come on. I named myself your nemesis. You think being my soulmate would be easy?” The lines in his face softened, and for the first time since I’d met him, I saw a spark of hope.
Although that could have been glitter, too.
Once he was clean enough, I let my hands move over his shoulders, sweeping back to his wings. “My wings are so sensitive. Are yours?” I teased. He was already shivering, but I didn’t let up. “I wonder what else is sensitive.”
Outside, the shadows were still banging at the doors, roaring to be let in. I could almost feel their desire to consume us. To destroy everything. And I knew we would have to go back out there like the bad-ashes we were and face them, possibly facing our deaths as well. So I decided to ignore them, for now. They might end up taking our lives, but I wouldn’t let them take this moment from us as well.
This stolen scrap of pleasure.
I let my hands go where they wanted, tousling his hair, smoothing over his face, and dropping to his pecs. He flexed slightly, and I stifled a laugh. “I like your nipples,” I mused, toying with one. “I wonder if you’d like… this.” I tweaked one, and he let out a muffled groan. “Hmm. I’d lick it, but I don’t want a mouthful of glitter.” I moved my face in front of his, staring directly at him. “Open your eyes.”
They snapped open, golden fire blazing outward. Gavriel was not naturally submissive, not even a little bit. I smirked into his glare. “Now I’m going to kiss you. Put one of your hands on my birthm—our feather.” When he’d done that, I leaned forward, pressing our lips together. It felt amazing, like sunlight on my face, and tasted of cardamom and mint. The feather on my chest began to get warmer, and I realized I wasn’t cold at all now.
“Open,” I murmured, and he did. I kissed him more deeply, letting my tongue explore, learning the shape of his lips, the way it felt to press our mouths as close as possible, taking the knowledge that should have been mine for so long now. I pulled back, looking at the man beneath me. He was trembling without stopping, and for a moment, a wave of sorrow flooded my thoughts. “You kissed me when I got here. But this is the first time someone has kissedyouin four centuries, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” His voice was a broken whisper. “I never believed I would feel this. I knew, once I met you… you were the only one I wanted to do this with. And I thought you would never want me.” A tear slid down his face.
“Oh, Gavriel,” I said, my heart breaking into tiny pieces. The feather in my chest ached and pulsed with his heartbeat now.
