My mating mark gave a final sparkle of pleasure, and I shook my head. I could almost hear our mate murmuring,“So what you’re saying is it’s a possibility.”
“Thank you, brother,” he said quietly after another moment, both of us thinking of Feather, reaching for her in the bond.
With the newfilialmark—not a mating mark; I refused to think of it as such—it almost felt like our connection to her had been doubled. The faint line of energy that had been fraying was reinforced, and she was there, at the other end.
Mikhail sighed. “She’s well. She’s alive, and…” He closed his eyes and focused. I knew he would hear more, since his vast age meant he had far more experience than I did with energy manipulation. “Vast age? I’ll show you ‘vast age,’” he teased. Then his voice softened, and he lay back. “She’s alive, and eating chocolate.” Closing his eyes, he drifted off into a true, deep sleep.
I glanced at the ceiling one more time, murmured a short hymn of praise, and followed him into rest.
Chapter 21
Gavriel
Hearing Rafe’s apology for leaving me to manage Sanctuary alone restored a part of me I hadn’t realized had been crushed.
Once I could speak, I answered his confession with my own. “When you were gone, I had no one I could confide in. At first, it wasn’t that hard. I might not have been the right Angelus forthe task, but you did train me. You didn’t leave Sanctuary in the hands of a Novice.” We both glanced at Feather, and I was certain my face bore a matching expression of amusement and adoration. “Mikhail was busy; he always had a project. And I was trying so hard to make certain I didn’t forget anything. I studied all the time. I had to stop composing after only a few years. There just wasn’t time for that and the work. The meetings with the Guides, who were never satisfied with my decisions. The hunt for what was causing the growing imbalance in humankind.
“Then, things got much worse on Earth. I put aside my music entirely, at the Head Guide’s urging. It didn’t seem like a vital task to play and sing when the balance was swinging like a feather in the wind. By the time I realized how bad things had gotten, how much I was missing and messing up, Mikhail was already working on Arabella. I told him how overwhelmed I felt, but he assured me part of that was not having a soulmate. It would all get better when she was brought into our realm.
“It got worse, of course. She fell only an hour—not even that—after she was animated. And I descended into an Abyss of my own making. I felt hopeless, helpless. It was all I could do to keep my wings spread in flight. Not to throw myself into the gate, or let myself fall in a fight with a shadow creature.”
Rafe’s strange face contorted with pain and guilt. “That is my fault, Gavriel. I pridefully believed I could return far sooner. What could be stronger than the great Seraphiel? I had never encountered a force that could bring me down.”
“It was your own compassion that was the true reason for your fall,” I argued. “Feather told us, when you remade her and she returned, how you had taught her to take the burden of crimes onto herself. When I saw you here in Sanctuary, I knew immediately that the taint you bear is the same thing. You tried to take on all the imbalance of the entire void, didn’t you, Rafe?”
“Not the entire void,” he said reluctantly, an odd expression crossing his face. “Just the parts I thought I could save.”
Feather shifted in her sleep, murmuring something about pancakes and abs and rugby players.
Rafe smiled then. “That’s her eighth favorite fantasy—the rugby players at the all-you-can-eat diner. Honestly, I think the maple syrup would just make a mess, but try telling her that.” I felt a pang of envy, and a bitter laugh escaped. “What?” he asked. “Itwouldbe a terrible mess. Syrup in hair and feathers? As she would say,ugh.”
“No, I was laughing because I envy you. You, burdened as you are, imprisoned in the Abyss, still had centuries with her. You know her. She loves you. This will sound ridiculous, but if there were a way to go back in time and trade places, I would do so.” Rafe stared at me in horror, which eventually faded to acceptance, and we both relaxed.
“She’ll want to give you a mating feather, you know,” I said. “To heal you and share the burden, the way she did with Mik and Ry.”
“I would never—” he began, but I waved him to silence.
“I know. Her energy is weaker by the hour. The strain of being separated from two of her mates is taking a heavy toll.”
“This room helps. By the way, I love what you did with your feathers, you idiot. No wonder you can’t fly. That mobile over the crib—it’s a force field? An energy shield?”
“I call it a playpen.” I shrugged, though I was secretly delighted to have impressed my old teacher. This sort of energy manipulation was no small thing. “This room was to keep Precious safe. Not only from the asshole Guides in Sanctuary, but the shadows. The Abyss likes that little girl far too much. When we were chasing her on Earth, and Mikhail was recovering from a battle wound, they would come for her constantly. They could sense her.”
“Does she shine, like our Feather?” I sent him a mental picture of the baby, and he released a soft shout of laughter. “No, she doesn’t look like any Novice I’ve seen. Oh, I wish I could meet her.” I narrowed my eyes at him when he rubbed his face, the shadows under his skin silently jeering, as usual. Though I wasn’t sure that for him, their cries were silent. He spoke over them, a little too loud. “We need to get you back to her, and the others. Do you have a plan for how to get out of here?”
“A better one than yours,” I retorted, rising to take some more food from the box. I handed a bunch to Rafe, and he thanked me.
“My plan is fine,” he said with a scoff. “She’s not tied to me, and I will not let her do so. You know the gate will require the sacrifice of a life. I will choose to be unmade. You will travel with her to the Celestial Realm. Give Mikhail and Mother my love. Tell Imriel to give you my mansion.”
“Your mansion?” I laughed. I’d seen it in his thoughts. It was a quaint cottage, with a sprawling garden filled with flowers. No, wait. “Roses? Fuck, I’ll be hard the rest of my life.”
“She might help you with that,” he said, popping another grape in his mouth. “You’ll only be hard some of the time.”
I gaped at him. “You can’t possibly think... Rafe. I abused her. I tortured her. She’ll never forgive me, and sheshouldn’t. I hold no hope of ever being a true mate to her. All I can do for the rest of our long lives is be her servant.”
“Literally my favorite fantasy if you add warm chocolate sauce,” her small voice chimed in. Feather was sitting up on the bed, rubbing her eyes with closed fists. She twisted, stretching her back, and then extended her short wings, stretching them as well. “What’d I miss? Besides Gavriel saying something about being my servant, which to be honest, sounds just about perfect. I could use a foot rub.” She arched an eyebrow.
Her hair was mussed and in knots around her face. Somehow, she already had a sheet mark on her face, and a tiny line of glitter-soaked drool on that same cheek. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, and she was speckled with blood and smut.
