“Nice try. They’re still not paying attention to me.” They were all looking at her. Of course they were; she was everything a Celestial Messenger should be. Their eyes shone with hope, and longing, and belief. For a second, it reminded me of how Gavriel used to watch her, his heart in his gaze.
Her eyes softened, the green ring in them dimming the tiniest bit.He was looking for you. In the wrong direction. It’s why he gave up hope so long ago. He knew, deep down, I would never be his. Because I wasn’t perfect for him. Not like you.
I don’t even like him,I admitted, though I wasn’t sure that was the whole truth.I mean, I appreciate the aesthetic. He’s fully lickable. If he just didn’t talk…
She laughed.You’re not wrong. His heart’s so broken, though. I wonder what it would be like if it were repaired?She took my hand and turned me to face the crowd, slipping one last thought in there.No soul is unredeemable, right? Don’t forget that. Now, say something inspirational.
I shook the thoughts of Gavriel away and yelled, “Sanctuary! Listen up.” This time, to my surprise, they did. Every eye landed on me. I swallowed, suddenly thirsty, and not in a fun way. “So, it’s good to see you all here together.” Arabella rolled her eyes so hard, I thought they might come loose. “You all know me. I’mFeather. You may not know I’ve been gone for a couple of days. I went to the Celestial Realm, and?—”
Jeers interrupted me. For a split second, I was back in the Great Hall, where I had been not that long ago, with these same souls mocking me, howling for my punishment. Had they learned nothing? Did they still look at me, after I’d taken on so much for them, suffered so deeply, and see someone unworthy? The evil voice that had encouraged me torendechoed in my memories.Kill them all.
As if they also remembered that directive, the gray curlicues beneath my skin formed into venomous snakes, fighting to leap out of my skin and teach these bassholes a deadly lesson in manners. The little snakes hissed specific, helpful ideas at me. I could teach these jerks that lesson from where I stood. I could pick up a few threads from the floor, loop them around their necks and stuff their rude mouths with…
Before I could go completely Darth Vader, Truth hopped up onto the loveseat beside me. He shot me a look that let me know he’d noticed my gray skin tone. I took a calming, non-homicidal breath and sent the murder-snakes to sleep as he extended his wings behind us both.
Huh.He was glowing a deep golden-brown from all his feathers. Maybe we would have two more High Angeli before the end of this meeting.
“Listento her. She speaks the truth. And you owe her your attention—especially you Guides. Feather cleansed every one of you of your taint. She’s the rightful leader of Sanctuary, and she is the only way any of us aregoing to get out of here alive!” His voice had risen to a rather impressive shout by the end.
The room went silent, the only sounds coming from those singing outside the doors. Everyone knew this guy. He literally vomited any time there was even the faintest hint of a lie told. Hecouldn’t speak anything other than the absolute truth, even if no one knew what that was.
“Why are you here, Feather?” a voice called out, concern and affection in the tone.
I didn’t know who it was, but I smiled. “Well, as it turns out, I’m not just the leader of Sanctuary. When I got to the Celestial Realm, I started dying, because—plot twist!—I’m the soulmate of Gavriel—” A new roar buried my next muttered words, “the Grumpy Goat Fudger.”
Then Arabella did something that made her glow like an old television about to explode, and they went quiet again. “It’s true,” she told the crowd. “I am not, nor have I ever been, Gavriel Lightbearer’s mate. I am a Celestial Messenger.” Most of them bowed their heads at that. Some even dropped to their knees. “And you will listen to what Feather, the Beautiful Sacrifice, has to say. And, as she is the authority over this realm,and also a Celestial Messenger, you will obey her.”
Some of the Guides looked like they’d just had pickle juice enemas. But not a single one argued.
“Right,” I said, when she nodded for me to take over. “I may not be what you expected. I may not be what you wanted. But apparently, Iamthe leader of Sanctuary. I returned from the Celestial Realm to save Gavriel. And Hope and Percy,” I added when Truth turned a little green. “And possibly Rump—Seraphiel, if I can. Then I’m going back there.”
“That’s impossible,” a Guide I recognized from group therapy yelled. “You can’t get back into the Celestial Realm. A soul can only enter once. If they didn’t kick you out, then you left on your own—but you can’t return.” There was enough condescension in their tone to butter that entire foot-long, erroneous mansplain sandwich. I put a hand over my eyes, feeling a wicked headache coming on.
I wanted to argue that I had a Celestial key. I wanted to correct their stupid assumptions. I wanted to smack them upside the head with a big bunch of Sanctuary ropes tied together like an enormous flail and?—
“Ahhh!”
I dropped my hand and goggled at the scene. Somehow, part of the floor had risen up and formed an X-shaped frame. The Guide who had backtalked me was tied to it with thick, jagged ropes of Sanctuary’s power, and the flail I’d imagined was smacking them over and over on their back.
“Sanctuary, stop that!” I yelled.
The flail hesitated in the air, then smacked the Guide once more. I glanced down at my arms, to check on the murder snakes. No. This wasn’t them. The realm itself had been listening, and had obviously had enough of their bullship.
“I mean it, Sanctuary. No torturing the Guides unless I specifically say so.” The energy dropped away so fast, the Guide fell on their face, their robes rucked up around their naked, bony ass. “Truth, help him?”
The atmosphere now was a mixture of disbelief, horror, amusement, and shock, as I apologized to the Guide, then said loud enough for everyone to hear, “I get it. You don’t like me. You think you know more than me, and you know what? You may be right. Instead of getting classes up here for four centuries, I was stuck on Earth, with no idea who I was, or what I was. All I knew was I had to protect the vulnerable. And like it or not, right now? That’s you.
“My job is to get you all out of here before the Abyss finishes breaking through the basement.” I held up a hand at the outcry those words brought. “Gavriel gave me those instructions. He and Seraphiel are in the basement now”—I choked back a sob—“killing themselves to give me time to get you out. So I’m goingto do that. Hope?” She’d stepped back from the door, and was shining brightly. “I need you to come here.”
She flew over the crowd. Next to me on stage, her glow was almost as bright as mine. “Gimme a sec,” I told her and reached down, grunting at how hard it was to pull even a tiny thread up.Stop sulking,I mentally chided the realm,and I’ll let you play BDSM games with the shadow beasts later. They seem to like it.
A whole spool of string came up in my hand then, and I held it out toward Hope. “So you’re ready to ascend, right?” She nodded, looking confused, and I lifted both hands in the air, wrapping them in the golden thread. “Hear me, oh, citizens of Sanctuary. Hope—” I stopped, and whispered, “What’s your whole name?”
For some reason, her cheeks went pink. “Why?” I rolled my hand in ahurry it upsignal and she mumbled, “Hope, the Waking Dream.”
No, not your porn name, birch,I snarked. She bared her teeth at me while I laughed. And people made fun ofmyname?
She glowered. “It’s an Aristotle quote. Maker Mikhail was his drinking buddy. What’re you doing?”
