Perception was the first of us to speak. “I’ll go get them, if that’s what you want?” He was asking me, but his eyes kept flicking to Haneul, and then Gavriel. He didn’t know who was in charge. Finally, his eyes settled on Feather.
“Yeah, Percy, thanks. Let her know what’s going on, though? I don’t want her to freak out.” At last, Feather’s eyes landed on Gavriel, who flinched. I couldn’t read his thoughts with Haneul so near, and he had always been good at guarding them. But he had been my best friend for a very long time, and I saw the flash of hurt that slipped past his icy blue eyes.
Hurt, and hopelessness.
Chapter 35
Feather
This had been the strangest, and possibly most terrifying week since I was born. Like riding an emotional rollercoaster in the dark with no seatbelts or handlebars, never slowing down. And I had a feeling there were still loops and downhills ahead. Maybe even one last, permanent downhill, if how I felt right now was any indication.
I was infinitely grateful that Righteous and Mikhail were standing with me, nearly holding me up. It made sense, now, this exhaustion that had been getting worse by the minute. It hadn’t been Sanctuary draining me, or not only that. It had also been the gray stuff inside me that was poisoning me slowly… and I had a sinking feeling the whole “taking all the smut to use it as a weapon” thing hadn’t helped. The outside smut might come off pretty easily, but the stuff inside had changed me.
At some point, I’d need to tell Haneul about my tiptoe across the line to the dark side. That I’d taken it on for not-quite-so-sacrificial reasons. And that the darkness inside me had a weird voice that told me to do bad things. Thank goodness it was easily distracted.
But I could tell her that later.
Sunny came running around the corner and skidded to a stop when she saw Gavriel. Her face went paler, and she tried to stuff the baby behind her back.
Gavriel’s smile was pained. “There’s no need to be afraid. I’m not going to hurt her, Sunny,” he said, his voice ragged. My heart ached at his tone. It sounded the way I had felt for most of my lives. Friendless, alone. Misunderstood?
“Okayyy,” she said cautiously, as Precious crawled up and over her wings and shoulders to peek at Haneul. But then Precious saw me, and flew clumsily across the space, barreling into me.
Glitter flew up in a cloud around us. “Mama!”
“Yes, Precious. It’s Mama, and Dada, too!” Mikhail pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
I could tell Haneul was having a silent freakout about the amount of smut on Precious. And possibly the horns. And maybe the white, goopy stuff all around her mouth, which looked like some kind of foam.
“Is she…” I motioned Sunny closer, and whispered, “Birch, did she catch rabies?”
Sunny groaned. “It’s marshmallows.”
Ry frowned, hovering close by. “Don’t give her those! It’s not healthy for children of any kind to have too many sweet—” he began, but Sunny rounded on him.
“Thanks, Sudden Parenting Expert. I’ll have you know, I didn’t give her a single one!” Glaring at Ry, she snapped her fingers and barked out, “Precious, mallow!” Precious grinned, then screwed up her eyes and focused on her tiny open palm. When a small marshmallow materialized there with a plop, Sunny took it with a “Thank you,” and popped it into her mouth.
“Tata!” The baby bumbled back across the space to Sunny, who balanced her on one hip and bounced her lightly, like she’d been doing it for years. Precious stuffed the edge of Sunny’s toga in her mouth, mumbling “Tata” again. Was that Sunny’s new name?
“She makes her own food,” Sunny mumbled, looking as smug as one could with a mouthful of white goo. “She doesn’t poop or need diapers. She can fly and… she’s gifted, okay? She’s the perfect baby.”
“The perfect demon,” Haneul breathed. “Yes, Feather. We will definitely not be leaving yourchildhere in Sanctuary. We need to go. Soon. Already, in fact. Please, Mikhail, Righteous? Feather? Grab the baby and let’s go.”
“But…Sunny?You said we couldn’t come back. I’m not leaving her. She’s my ride or die.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Haneul said, her eyes filled with enough fear as she observed Precious that I found myself trembling.
Or maybe that was the cold. Was it getting cold in here? No one else seemed to be noticing it. In fact, the others weresweating. I moved closer to Haneul; her warmth took a tiny bit of the chill out of the air.
She turned to Sunny. “Sunny, you’ve ascended. You can come, too. Your hands… well, you’ll be cleansed when we get to my realm. It’s not usual for Angeli to enter with stains—but we’ll cope. We’ll get you both purified.” She nodded at me.
Oh thank goodness, they can get rid of the clit horns. Haneul’s eyes went wide, and I realized even if no one else could hear my thoughts, she obviously could.Sunny loves Hope, I thought at her.
Sighing heavily, Haneul looked toward the corridor. Almost instantly, Hope arrived, flying straight at us. “Someone called for me, said to get here fast?” I blinked, shocked at Hope’s appearance. The normally put-together, gorgeous blonde warrior woman was a mess. Her hair was dull and limp, her eyes flat, and her spirit seemed ragged around the edges. Her skin had unmistakable patches of smut everywhere.
Haneul shook her head at me. “She wouldn’t survive the trip.”
Sunny swallowed, then said, “I can’t go. I won’t leave Hope. Feather, you take—” She held Precious out to me, but the instant she was no longer touching the baby, Sunny collapsed to the ground, shrieking in agony.
