“I could have been masturbating with these all along,” I murmured, lifting one nozzle off the base. “Eight different patterns, and five speeds? This shizz is wasted on you guys.”
“Would you like to eat?” Ry asked softly. “I can go and get something. You haven’t had food since before you sprung me from jail.”
Mikhail went still. “Jail? What do you mean?” Righteous excused himself to get us food, but I was too tired to speak. The weight of the day’s events, and the weight I was now carrying, were pulling me fast into unconsciousness.
I felt my clothing being removed gently. Mikhail’s hands held me like a doll as he tied my matted hair up on top of my head and lowered me into the bathtub, his hands moving over… not my skin. My skin was so coated that his hands were an inch away from the body underneath, and even though each pass of his fingers removed a fair amount, there was always more welling endlessly up from underneath. He wasn’t even using cleansing gel for now, just humming under his breath, and working ceaselessly to get me clean. Taking care of me.
I was beyond exhausted. I allowed Mikhail to wash me with the shower nozzle, wipe me down, and sing, for what felt like hours.
He made the mistake of touching my horns a couple of times—which didn’t feel great, since I was so tired. He rubbed at them a bit, trying to get them to disappear, I assumed. But finally, he gave up when I begged him to stop.
The horns would have to stay for now.
After a while, Righteous came back, and they took turns washing me, sliding small bites of food between my lips, and rinsing out the tub that kept filling up with glitter. I ate, then lapsed back into sleep.
When I woke next, Righteous was telling Mikhail the story—all of it, about what had been happening in Sanctuary even before the past few weeks, after I’d gone into the gate and while Mikhail was dying. He covered the parts of the story he knew, and I found myself energized with anger when he told Mikhail how he’d been dragged into a living hell.
“I was singing at the gate,” Ry said, his fingers moving through my hair like he was combing for miniscule diamonds among the strands. “I wasn’t at the judgment where they declared me unfit to lead, but Valor came with ten Guides. All of them had swords, and when I resisted, they used them on my wings.” I fought to open my eyes and see what had Mikhail swearing.
“Those feathers may not heal,” Mikhail said. “If I had access to the Well, I’d make you new ones.”
“You can do that?” Righteous murmured. “You… would do that?”
“Keep talking,” Mikhail instructed gruffly. Righteous covered his torture and imprisonment, and I fell asleep again. When I surfaced, Mikhail was growling softly. “And you swear on your wings you did not manipulate her into giving you a feather?”
“High Angelus, I didn’t even know such a thing was possible. But… I did go too far, knowing she was your mate. I should neverhave touched her. I deserve any punishment you feel necessary for the act of merging with her.”
Mikhail snorted. “Ah, I already told her that was fine. I don’t have to like it, but when I heard her name, I understood. Saw it coming, in fact.”
Righteous groaned. “Why did she choose that?”
Mikhail’s boisterous laugh bounced off the marble walls. “I don’t know, but I’m going to get some mileage out of teasing you and possibly Gavriel for a good long while. A very, verylongwhile, apparently.” Righteous cursed, and Mikhail laughed some more.
I went ahead and opened my eyes, feeling like maybe it was time for me to chime in. “He didn’t ask for the feather,” I managed to whisper. They both went still for a moment, before Mikhail lifted me from the tub, wrapping me in an enormous fluffy towel. Instantly, Righteous was there, wiping my hair out of my face and examining my eyes.
“You don’t need to talk now, sweet soul,” Mikhail said, rocking me gently.
“No, I can,” I replied. “I’m tired, but you should know. I pulled energy from Sanctuary the way Rumple taught me in my dream. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to do that. Ever. I drained it, Mikhail. I can feel it now, still mostly empty. If the Abyss attacks, like Gavriel thinks?—”
Mikhail shushed me. “Gavriel always worries about the Abyss. And Sanctuary has withstood greater foes than a glitter-loving, self-sacrificing Angelus like you.” I lifted an eyebrow, and he laughed sheepishly. “Well, Ithinkit’ll survive you.” He stroked one finger down my cheek. “Is that how you mated with Righteous? You used the energy of Sanctuary itself to remove your feather?”
I shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t remember doing it. I’m making all of this up as I go, Growly.”
Righteous’s voice was as meek as I’d ever heard it when he asked, “Do you regret it?” I managed to twist my neck to see him, and my heart almost broke. His face was painted with remorse. Even shame?
I sucked in a breath. “Not one farking bit. I’m sorry if I’m not supposed to feel this way. But I can’t imagine my soul without pieces of you both inside it. I feel like… like I’m finally becoming whole.” A tear scalded its way down my cheek, and Mikhail used it to wipe at my face. “I was never cherished on Earth. Not really. For some reason, I always landed in the worst places. My charges may have loved me, some of them. But I never had devoted parents or lovers, or even loyal friends, like I do here. No one besides my first sister, Dina. I belong in Sanctuary, and I’m happier here—most of the time—than I have a right to be. But the best part of it all is that you love me.” I flicked my gaze to Mikhail, who was smiling the slightest bit. “Both of you love me. And even if I don’t deserve it, I’ll take it. And more.”
Mikhail leaned down and kissed me so gently, I almost couldn’t feel it. “With a heart as big as yours, I don’t think Righteous and I will be enough.” When I protested, he tapped a finger over my lips. “Sweet soul, we know your full name—the one you chose for yourself. Rafe is still alive, and he needs us. You need him. If he can be saved, we will save him, and perhaps make a space for him in this…” He coughed.
“Ménage?” I supplied. Righteous choked.
Mikhail’s brow furrowed. “Well, if Rafe does end up being in the mix, it would be more than three.”
“A quartet?” Righteous suggested, his voice full of humor. I was so glad to see him more relaxed, now that Mikhail had accepted him.
That made me wonder. “So, if you’re both with me, does that mean…” They both looked at me, their faces strangely blank. “You know.” I waggled my eyebrows. “Come on, I’ve seen howopen you all are in this realm. Getting your group freak on at The Merge. I wouldn’t be even the tiniest bit jealous, not as long as you let me video it for quiet time later. Wait, does Sanctuary have its own version of Youtube? Or Pornhub?” I hadn’t seen a screen in the whole place, but it seemed like a real missed opportunity if they hadn’t at least recorded some of those parties at The Merge.
“We do not have a porn channel, Feather.” Mikhail closed his eyes, rubbing at his brow. “Why would you even?—”
