I reach for his other hand, which makes him lift his gaze back up to meet mine.“Not because I didn’t want to.My brain kind of blue-screened, but like, not in a bad way.In a good way.”
He frowns for a moment.“Okay,” he says, not sounding all that convinced.
So I scoot closer until the sides of our thighs are pressed together.I lean in until our faces are inches apart, and I can hear his breath catch.
“I’m good now,” I insist, smiling when his eyes flick down to my lips.“If you wanted to try again.”
He nods, a little eagerly, and it gives me the courage to close the distance this time.
Our lips meet more gently and… damn.His lips are soft.His hands are bigger than anyone I’ve ever kissed, so when they come up to cup my jaw, it almost makes me feel small.The prickle of his beard against my cheek is even better than I imagined.And just when I think it can’t get more perfect, his hands make their way into my hair.His fingers tangle in my curls, tugging ever so slightly, and I’m pretty sure my consciousness floats right out of my body.
I gasp into his mouth, and he pulls back.He doesn’t go far—his face is still only inches from mine—but I already miss him.
“Too much?”he asks.
I give my head a firm shake.“Not enough,” I say, not caring if I sound needy.I am needy.I need him to keep kissing me.So, I reach up to cradle his neck and pull him back to me.
He kisses me again, hard like he had the first time, but this time I’m ready for it.It’s raw, unrestrained, almost like he’s just as needy as I am.I’m obsessed.I go pliant against him with a soft hum as he claims my mouth with enthusiasm.His lower lip catches mine, nudging them apart, and I outright moan as his tongue licks into my mouth.
God, I feel like I’m floating.I don’t know if it’s because it’s new—kissing a guy—or if it’s specifically Reid, but I don’t remember kissing ever being this good.I want him closer.I want to feel him everywhere.
Gathering the material of his sweater in my hand, I pull him closer.He goes willingly, following my lead as I lie down on the couch.
“Is this okay?”I ask between kisses.
He nods and situates himself on my lap, his knees bracketing my hips.His lips drag across my cheek and down to my jaw.“Is this okay, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart?Yup, I’m a fucking puddle.
“Yes,” I breathe, tangling my fingers in his hair to encourage him.
When his lips meet my neck, I tip my head back to give him better access.He nips at the space between my neck and shoulder, and another moan escapes me as I arch into him.
“Is this—?”he starts.
“Yes, God, fuck, keep going.”I’m pretty sure I’m babbling, but I don’t think I care.I want to lose myself in him.
He groans into my skin, and then our lips meet.Our breaths are heavy, but we don’t pull back for air.Hands roam.I slip my fingers beneath his sweater, exploring his waist, and he gasps a surprise moan.His hips roll against mine, and suddenly I’m very aware of my body again.
He’s hard.
Up until now, I’ve operated purely on instinct.Other than his size, more angular features, and facial hair, kissing Reid hasn’t been all that different from kissing a woman.Experience-wise, kissing is kissing.But something about feeling his hard cock grind against mine reminds me of just how new all of this is.Before I can stop them, the intrusive thoughts bubble up in the back of my brain.
You have no idea what you’re doing.
You’re going to be bad at this.
He’s going to be disappointed.
He’s been out for years; he won’t want to hold your hand while you figure out your sexuality.
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, trying to force them back.Dammit, I want this.I want this so fucking bad.Judging by his erection, he does too, and I’m ruining it.
When I open my eyes, I find him frowning with concern.“What’s wrong?”he asks.
“Nothing, I’m fine.”I say, trying to convince myself just as much as him.I lean in to kiss him again, but he stops me with a shake of his head.
“You look anxious,” he says bluntly.Then he softens.“Did I do something?”
