I immediately stared directly into his eyes and didn’t deviate, trying to keep my composure. “No.”
“You’re lying.”
“Nope. Don’t know what you mean.”
“I’m a cop.”
“I know that.”
He started walking toward the table, tilting his head. “Well, you better be nice because this is what you have to look forward to eventually. After a lot of unfortunate life-altering moments and a divorce, I stopped trying to dye everything black. I’m just glad I’m not balding. Wouldn’t be surprised if I started, though.”
So far, from what I knew, my family had been blessed not to have the balding part. “I like the gray. It suits you.”
“Thanks for placating me. You’ve still got time to get your own. You’re only, what, thirty?”
“Right on the money. But like you said, I haven’t been divorced.” I turned my phone screen off, finally setting it to the side. “Speaking of, I was curious. How long were you married? If you’re okay answering.”
His smile made every bad, wrong thing in the world feel good and right. He truly glowed like a ball of natural light. “We were high school sweethearts.” He sat in front of me, pulling a chair out from the table. “Got married right as we turned eighteen. We’d been together for three years at that point. Olivia and I made it through until we were thirty-six and realized we didn’t have a marriage anymore, we had a friendship with legal documents involved. There wasn’t any romantic love there anymore, even though we’ll always have each other in our hearts.”
“Holy shit. That’s a long time. I can’t imagine how difficult that must’ve been.”
“Itwasa long time. We’ve told each other over and over that we should’ve gotten divorced way sooner. We actually grew closer after we got divorced. Isn’t that funny?”
I couldn’t imagine being with someone for that long and only getting closer after breaking up. “Do you guys still talk?”
“Oh, yes. Very often. She still lives in Lindenbergh, so she obviously doesn’t come to the house like she used to, but we talkon the phone all the time, and she’d be at my house with her girlfriend really often. We’re best friends, and nothing will ever change that. Our love just wasn’t meant to stay romantic forever. Platonic soulmates, she says.”
“She sounds nice.”
“Olivia is the most annoying person I’ve ever met in the entire world. But I love her dearly, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s been there for me through so much.”
I wondered what the difference was between lasting love and love that’s not meant to. If two people who were so in love for so long could fall out of it so easily, how did everyone else do it? Like my parents, who’d been together for coming up on thirty-five years. The commitment one would have to have with another. It was inspiring, as much as it almost felt hopeless.
I didn’t think I’d ever find a love like that. Not in this lifetime, anyway. I didn’t really deserve it. “I’d love to meet her someday. If we’re going to be friends and all that.”
“You wouldn’t really have a choice. Like I said, most annoying human I know. But she has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen, too. I think you two would get along after you got to know each other.”
The thought of making another friend, which would equal a whole two of them I’d have, made me smile. It was wishful, but it was pure.
Emerson stood from the table to go shower, leaving me alone in the kitchen for the time being. Apparently, we were hanging out today, and neither of us was going to talk about last night. I didn’t mind, though. As long as it meant I hadn’t scared what might be my only friend for the time being off.
Chapter Eleven
People had toldme all my life that I was a clingy, touchy person. Harrison and I were both like that, probably getting the habit from our parents. My personal belief was that cuddling and human physical connection was the best way to heal our hearts and souls.
So far, Moon seemed to only be a little bit hesitant at first, but otherwise enjoyed our cuddle session on the couch. He was lying in front of me, my hand rubbing up and down his arm absentmindedly while we watched some show on the TV. I was oddly grateful he wasn’t wearing another turtleneck, exposing all the gorgeous artwork on his arms. I got to run my fingers over them without it being weird, which was honestly weird of me to be happy about. I’d always been the cuddly friend. The touchyfriend. It’d never been odd to me, like it seemed to be for all my friends growing up.
Olivia loved physical touch. It was her love language, just as it was mine. We’d been a perfect match in that fact all the way through our marriage, even when everything else seemed to fail.
At some point, my eyes had started to droop, and the TV in front of us was going blurry. I was losing my fight with wakefulness, tempted to let it slip through my fingers so I could sleep with my arms wrapped around Moon. It felt…right, in a way.
Moon stirred in my hold, checking the time on his phone. “Mm, it’s time to go see Crescent.”
I peeled my eyes back open, blinking a few times to make all the blurry spots go away. “Oh, good. I was about to fall asleep. I need some caffeine.”
“Yeah, I kind of noticed. I was just going to let you sleep, but then I realized what time it was.” He rolled off the couch, standing in one swift movement.
As for me, it took a bit more effort and an audible groan to go with it. Whenever I started to neglect what are usually my daily runs, my body starts to get stiff, and it takes more willpower to move my body in the ways it’s supposed to already be doing normally. I didn’t have any other clothes, and I didn’t feel like running back to my house, so it looked like I was going to Muffin Haven in borrowed sweats and an old shirt. Better than nothing, I guessed. But I still felt a bit silly, seeing as I was so used to being in uniform when people saw me in public here.
