That was my turning point. I willed myself to fight not for myself but for him. I needed to see him enjoying his life for once, to stop putting me first. My words weren’t chipping away at Ollie’s guilt, though. So I went to Meg, Rague’s foster mother. She was… is a psychiatrist, and since Ollie and I became part of the family she built with her wife, Linda, she welcomed me as a patient with open arms.
My diagnosis was a form of PTSD caused by the assault. The symptoms were interfering with my daily life, so I started therapy. Thanks to Meg and the year and a half we worked together, I slowly took small steps into the outside world. I even worked part-time in an animal clinic, and although I almost let fear win a couple of times, after a while, something changed. I guess life snuck up on me, and I realized I wanted to move on…for myself.
I started by getting a high school diploma online. Then I took some online college classes, which multiplied quickly—I’ve always been a bookworm with a higher-than-average IQ. Then I began taking the occasional trip to the University of Illinois branch in the city—the family took turns accompanying me since I still feltedgywhen outside. I got steadier and more confident with time as I remembered who I used to be and what I was passionate about and why.
Six months ago, I left my brother’s place—convincing him to let me go wasn’t without effort—and moved to the university campus near the small town of Urbana, to continue the third year of my undergraduate studies in chemistry and animal biology. Someone from the family comes every week to check on me, and I don’t mind it one bit.
This everyday routine has become comfortable. But the harder I keep trying to build a life of my own, the harder the irrepressible fear threatens to come crushing down on me all over again. But one thing has become crystal clear with each passing day: I will never go back to being that broken person. I’ve painfully glued my cracked pieces one by one, and I won’t let anyone or anything shatter them ever again.
I straighten my spine and start walking across the quad. My thoughts tend to get tangled, and I space out at times while I should be focusing on the present, my studies. I’m at the top of almost all my classes. Next semester, I’ll start vet school, and the year after, I’ll get my university degree in two different majors. My goal is to become one of the best vets in the state of Illinois.
Someone called me an overachiever, but I’m not. I’m smart and diligent and adore animals. I lost two years due to my father’s disinterest in my education and what happened that horrible day. No more. I got this.
Adapting to campus life hasn’t been smooth sailing, though. I had to get used to the university’s fast pace and loud dorm. My roommate was kind of an asshole, coming back late and wasted, playing noisy video games as I was trying to sleep, sneering at me with his friends. But he suddenly moved out after only a week. When I asked the RA, he said the guy didn’t give any reason, just ran out with his stuff like a bat out of hell. The fact that the few times I saw him on campus he lowered his eyesand hurried away scared shitless tells me that someone from my family had something to do with his hasty move and change of behavior. Thebrotherhoodcan be intense or, in layman’s terms, menacing as hell.
Rague was fostered by Meg and Linda with the other five kids, and when Ollie married him, we became part of this brotherhood—or sausage fest as Lori calls it. The fact that the brotherhood has a dark past that turned them into bloodthirsty vigilantes makes them extremely dangerous, but only to people who hurt others. They’re trying to eradicate the hidden deep roots of evil, the ones invisible to others, but nonetheless very real. I’ve seen different shades of malevolence in my life, enough to realize that the brotherhood is an essential part of it. Thebestevil part.
My phone starts ringing. I slide it out of my jacket pocket and tap on the green icon when I see Brad’s name.
“Hey, dude!”
“Sully!” His familiar gruff voice makes me smile immediately. He’s my best friend—sweet, warm-hearted, and loyal to a fault. He never left my side until I recovered—physically. I can always count on him.
“Miss you, man. So looking forward to seeing you.”
“Isn’t California treating you right?” I tease him.
Last week, out of the blue, he told me that he’s transferring here next semester riding a football scholarship. Go Growling Bears! I don’t know what happened, but something must have if he left the college his father chose for him.
“You know me. I’m good anywhere I land.” He snorts. “I’ll come for the college tour next week. Let’s grab a bite to eat before I fly back.”
“You got it,” I say as I feel someone walking next to me. I look up, and I see a familiar face. He’s in my statistics class.
“Epic! I’ll send you the flight details. Call you later.” Brad hangs up as I halt my steps to see what the guy wants.
“Sally, right?”
“It’s Sully,” I correct him. He’s not taking the piss, pronouncing my name wrong, like most of my high school bullies did.
“Freaky.” His eyes flick between mine, and I know he’s talking about my irises. One brown, one light green. It’s called heterochromia, the difference in color, and it does weird some people out for some reason.
“I’m Jacob.”
“Can I help you with something, Jacob?” I ask, feeling suddenly on edge. He’s standing too close, not by society standards, but for me.
He smiles. “You don’t know who I am, do you?” He sounds a little incredulous.
“Should I?” I’m positive I’ve never talked to him before.
“I’m the captain of the soccer team.”
“Sorry, I’m more of a football fan.” Only because of Brad. I don’t actually watch it if he isn’t playing.
He makes a tsk sound. “Nobody’s perfect.” He smirks. “My friend is throwing a party this Friday, and I’d like for you to come.”
This conversation sounds surreal for some reason. “Why?”
His voice turns deep. “I’ve seen you in class. You’re cute and…smart. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while now.”
