“What’s wrong?” my brother insists, ignoring his friend’s antics and looking serious as shit.
I grit my teeth. I don’t want to see the worried look on his face. Not for something like this. It could all be in my head.
“Maybe he’s all study and no pleasure.” Lori saves me. The look he sends to my clothes is filled with criticism. My jacket is open, showing the oversized sweater and loose jeans underneath.
“You need to let go and have fun. Are you enjoying campus life?” he asks.
“I’m busy studying.” I turn toward my desk and start fumbling with the books and notebooks there. But Lori spins my chair with a Cheshire Cat smile on his face.
“Fun helps remove stress and loneliness and is known for taking your pants off as well.” He wiggles his eyebrows in a ridiculous way. “It’s the dog’s bollocks!”
“The what?” I look at him, confused. His grandma was from the UK. She raised him, which is why British words and sayings slip into his everyday speech. Some of them are very weird, that’s why I keep forgetting their meaning.
“Bow chicka wow wow.” Lori thrusts his hips while spanking an imaginary ass.
I roll my eyes at him. Sometimes I pity Gabe for putting up with this on a daily basis. Maybe I should offer him thebananasafe word.
“Now tell me, how do you study with dudes moving around half naked…or all naked?” Ollie pinches him. “What? College kids have no shame, right?” Lori’s voice is filled with hope.
“And you do?” Ollie intervenes.
“If you could read my mind, you’d be horrified or very turned on,” Lori states. Then it’s my turn again. “Just remember, you can make everything happen with patience and lube. Never forget lube.”
“He’s twenty years old,” Ollie reminds him of my age.
“So? We lost our virginities way before that.”
“Can’t believe I have an hour and a half to spend in the same car with you, again.” My brother huffs at him.
“If you are so against it, I can run you over with that same car on our way home so I’ll never hear you bitching again,” Lori grumbles at him.
“If you drive, I won’t be the only victim,” my brother mutters. Lori is very dangerous behind the wheel.
“No, you won’t. You’d probably do a ninja move and dodge it.”
“What’s with the bag?” I point at the purple one on the bed. What I’m trying to do is stop the idiotic banter. It’s not even lunchtime, and I’m already exhausted. My shoulder aches, but I can’t tell Ollie about the accident, or he’ll freak.
Lori claps his hands with excitement.Uh oh.
“I brought something for you!” He turns the bag upside down and empties it on the duvet. “All the essentials a college student should have in their room. I Googled it.”
I walk to the bed to get a better look. There are too many Cup Noodles, an Amazon gift card, expensive face creams, a tube of sunscreen, a candle, a book onHow to Score Using Three Words Tops, and five packs of condoms—one is size large. I lift it up and turn it toward Lori.
“Experimenting is fun, and I didn’t want to assume…the dimensions.” His eyes glance at my groin. I hear Ollie’s groan of dissent behind me. “Magnitude?” Lori tries again, forcing a grunt out of my brother this time. “Girth!”
For fuck’s sake!
“Stop!” Both Ollie and I say in unison.
“Bareback is awesome but dangerous. You need to protect Huey, Dewey, and Louie.” Lori points at my dick again.
My brother slaps his hand over his face and then drops himself onto the empty bed on the other side of the room.
“Lori, ummm, thank you for this, but stop talking.” I force the words out. I don’t know what he Googled before buying all this stuff for me, but it’s sort of sweet. “And homemade food is all I need.”
“Bugger it! I should have done that.” He snaps his fingers. “I’ll take care of it.” He grabs his phone.
He’s going to go overboard, but it’s okay. I can share it with the other students. Maybe even make some friends.
