Not anymore.
I stare at the face that’s become so beloved. At the eyes I’d happily drown in, the lips I’ve become obsessed with. At the chest guarding the heart I’ve coveted, my own pulverized into a bloody mess.
I look at the man who has eaten me up, body and soul, and can’t reconcile the Rem I fell for with the one who has kept so many secrets from me.
“Your feelings haven’t changed,” I repeat, spine stiff. “The homicidal ones, you mean?”
My comment evokes more of a reaction than my knife. Rem’s fingers dig into the soft flesh of my neck, his jaw ticking. “I was not going to kill you.”
“Maybe not then,” I press, “but what about now?”
Rem curses. He brings his body tight to mine and I don’t need to look down to know that my blade has cut deeper. I want to push Rem away, for his own good. But I can’t. Not until I get an answer.
“What are you going to do, Rem, when you have to tell your uncle you’ve found his missing woman? What happens when you have to tell him that you’ve married the daughter of a traitor?” I could be cutting open my own chest, this hurts so much. “Maria’s not here to punish, but I am. What does your sacred code say about that, huh? Does the daughter pay for the sins of the mother? I know I’ve not lived in this world long, but that sounds pretty on brand for your family. So, tell me—what are you going to do when yourcapoorders you to kill me for a second time?”
The question hangs above our heads. A sword waiting to fall. Then, on a terrible groan, Rem fists his other hand in the back my shirt, arm tight against my lower back, and drops his forehead to my shoulder. “He won’t order that,” Rem grits out, his breath hot above my breast.
“He will.” I place my free hand on Rem’s back, feeling his muscles flicker beneath my touch. “You know he will.”
“I won’t let him.” Rem’s breathing stutters. His grip on my neck becomes painful. “He’s not taking you, Lena. I swear on everything I hold holy, I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not even me.”
“Too late for that.”
Rem lifts his face, his hands falling from me. I put space between us. We’re a thread pulled past its limit. Snapped and fraying.
I look at my husband, trying to ignore the blood that has trickled down his abdomen and transferred to my white shirt. “You hurt me. You lied to me. Knowing what I know now, how am I supposed to live with you? How am I supposed to trust you?”
“I didn’t lie, Lena. I just didn’t tell you?—”
“The truth?” With two words, the fight drains out of me. I drop the knife on the ground, not caring if my toes become collateral damage. Rem’s expression tells me I look as broken-hearted as I feel. “I don’t know how to stay here with you. I don’t know how to begin to process everything I’ve learned today. And I sure as hell don’t know how I can stick around for when your uncle returns.”
I haul in a breath, the ringing in my head making it hard to hear myself say, “I’m leaving.”
“No.”
“You don’t have a say. Not anymore.”
“The fuck I don’t.” Rem points at the rings encircling my left ring finger. “You’re my fucking wife, Lena.To have and hold, remember? I’m not letting you leave, not when your life is still in danger.”
“An argument that’s hard to buy when the threat is coming from inside the house.”
I don’t let myself think—to second guess—as I turn and walk away. It’s only when I’m halfway across the room that I feel Rem’s heat behind me. His words on my skin as he says, “I choose you.”
I stop, twist to meet his crystal-clear gaze. “What?”
“If Aldo wants to punish you for Maria’s betrayal, if it comes down to you or my family…” Rem takes one of my limp hands, threads our fingers together. Presses my skin to his hot lips. “I choose you.”
I blink, blindsided by his admission. By the depth of feeling burning in his eyes. “You can’t. Your family is everything to you. You can’t pick me over them. You just… can’t.”
“I can and I will.” Rem tucks a strand of hair behind my ear gently. The possessiveness in his expression is fierce. “You’re my wife. I choose you every time. You’re mine,piccolina, and I’m yours. Because I am so fucking in love with you.”
33
REM
I’ve never told anyone I love them.
Fuck, I’ve neverlovedanyone before. Not like this.
