“I guess that depends on your definition,” she says quietly.
The air leaves my lungs in a pained rush. I’ve never questioned the life I live. I’ve always been proud of the man I’ve been brave enough to be. A man who never shies away from a fight, no matter how deadly. A man who protects what’s his with blood, ruthlessness, and unwavering loyalty.
The world doesn’t see me as a good guy. That’s fine. I reign in the shadows, rule over a kingdom that would give ninety-nine percent of the population nightmares.
I sure as fuck am not a superhero, but I’ve never considered myself the villain. Not until now.
The look on my wife’s face threatens to knock the ground out from under me. “There are so many tick marks, Rem. More than I can count.”
“It denotes power. Rank. My irrefutable leadership of my soldiers. I’m not going to apologize for the person I am, Lena. I’ll apologize for Ari crashing in here and causing a major fucking debacle. I’ll apologize for not being completely honest with you. But I’m not going to apologize for being me. For being the man who has survived in the world I was born into.”
“I’m not asking you to. In one way or another, I’ve been surrounded by death since birth. I understand more than most that it’s an unavoidable part of being alive. Our time together has taught me that sometimes it really is that black and white.Either them or you. But that tattoo,yourtattoo—I’ve seen it before.”
“But you said?—”
“Not on you. But…holy shit.” The color drains from Lena’s face. “Your family reallyistrying to kill me.”
“What do you mean? Where have you seen the tattoo before?”
“The man who attacked me and Bianca in the parking garage. He had a tattoo on his hand. I saw it for a split second, haven’t thought about it since. But it’s the same one. I’m sure of it.”
Lena’s knees wobble. I’m at her side in an instant, catching her just as she starts to fall.
For a second, she lets me hold her, her forehead dropping to my chest as she catches her breath. But the moment she’s regained her composure, she pushes me away. I had no idea letting go could be so hard. “You’re sure you’re remembering correctly? I saw his body yesterday; he didn’t have any tattoos.”
“He did. On the back of the hand holding the gun.”
I tear through my memories, picturing the man I killed yesterday. The hand covered in blood. The one he’d ripped apart while trying to break through the glass…
“I’m positive I saw it,” Lena is saying. “It’s a distinctive design. Not a lot of baby-eating snakes around.” She moves, putting the kitchen island between us. “It’s true, isn’t it? What Ari said—your uncle ordered you to kill me?”
“Lena—”
“Yes or no. Just answer me.” Her voice breaks. “Please.”
Looking at the anguish on Lena’s face is worse than facing a firing squad. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because he thinks you’re working with our enemies, the Paganos, to take us down.”
“The Paganos… You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” She shakes her head, bracing herself on the island counter. Her engagement ring flashes in the winter light that floods through the floor-to-ceiling windows. I watch the diamond glint, giving her a moment to absorb the information.
“Obviously I’m not doing that,” she says. “Like I said the first time you asked me, I have no idea who the Paganos are.”
“I know.”
“And you lied to me. That day Bianca and I were attacked, I asked you if you were in my apartment to hurt me, and you said no.”
“I didn’t lie to you.” I start to edge around the island, slowly, so she can see me coming. “I didn’t lie,piccola. I was not in your apartment to hurt you. Or to kill you. That was Aldo’s original order, yes, but nothing about the situation felt right. So, I refused the order until I had concrete proof that you were the threat he believed you to be.That’swhy I was in your apartment that night. Looking for evidence that you were on the Pagano payroll.”
“And if you’d found it?”
“But I didn’t.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Yes, it is. It’s the only one that matters, because we both know I’m right. You’re not what my uncle or brother think you are. You’re not conspiring against us. You’re not a threat to us. A fact I’ll make painstakingly clear to Aldo when he returns tomorrow.”
