I brushed his jaw, and a tremor went through him. Unable to stop myself, I bent and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “May I see you later?”
“Yes,” he squeaked.
Wyn had attacked me only moments ago, and now he was being shy? I loved the odd contradiction of him. I gave him one last kiss before walking away.
I sagged back against the tree, sliding to the loose sand because my knees could no longer support my weight. Finger on my lips, I watched Monqilcolnen walk away from me. I traced the sway of his hair, and how his muscles moved. He was so graceful, and just moments ago, I’d been able to touch him, feel him.
What just happened? Did I regret it?
My soul pounded the second he was out of my sight, and an instinct flooded me to chase Monqilcolnen so he would never be out of my sight again.
No, I didn’t regret it, but I fear I’d condemned us both to pain and possibly death if I allowed this to go too far.
Chapter 21
I just want to speak with him.
I barely paid Talvax any attention as she rightly chastised me for ignoring her ping. She paced in front of me as I stood with my hands at my sides. Her words were meaningless in the face of what had transpired on the planet’s surface.
Wyn had claimed me.
It hadn’t been simply interest or friendship. He’d claimed me in front of another. I wasn’t so young or naive to believe he wished to be mates right this moment—he didn’t know me well enough—but I was hopeful that possibility existed. I was already there, but Wyn… I truly hoped one day he would wish to be my mate.
He’d said we wouldn’t work. That was simply untrue. I knew of nothing more perfect than the feel of Wyn’s lips on mine. It had been magical. Not enough words existed to describe what I’d felt in that moment. The wholeness. The rightness. The most utter certain knowledge I belonged solely to him.
Wyn was my soul, and I refused to live even one more day without him beside me.
“Do you understand me, Commander?” Talvax snapped.
I blinked. I hadn’t listened to her enough to form an appropriate response, but her tone slightly shocked me. Talvax wasn’t one to get angry easily—she’d helped care for Kalvoxrencol when he was young, for the Crystal’s sake, and he’d been a notorious troublemaker.
Nonetheless, I replied, “I understand, Captain, and offer my apologies.” I gave her my throat, and Talvax relaxed, finally taking her seat.
She gestured to one of the stools in front of her desk and asked, “Now will you tell me why you and Lieutenant Wyn didn’t respond to my ping?”
I took a seat and answered, keeping my face in its usual mask, “It’s of a personal nature. I don’t feel comfortable divulging.”
Talvax snorted, her tail wiggling. “Personal? I believe I can guess what exactly you two were so engaged in.”
I chuckled; I couldn’t help it. I was so happy.
Her eyebrows lifted. “I’m correct, aren’t I?”
“If you’re hinting Wyn and I might have been engaged in a romantic entanglement, then you’re not wrong.”
“I knew it. Of course, Urgg will claim they knew first, but I have had some inkling of your interest in him since our first voyage to Earth.”
My desire for Wyn came from much earlier than a mere three cycles ago. My thoughts raced to the stylus sitting in a place of honor in my office. I’d carried him with me for many cycles.
“What is this relationship?” she asked.
“I’m unsure. We have not discussed it yet. I know what I wish, but that doesn’t mean Wyn reciprocates it.”
She tilted her head to the side, just slightly, in concession. “How are we to handle it? You’re the commander of theAdmiral Venand his superior officer.”
Regulation didn’t allow anyone to court those within their chain of command due to the power imbalance they had over them. As a captain or commander of a vessel, you didn’t court anyone within your ship unless they were a civilian, and even then, some would frown upon it.
My care for Wyn was far too deep to allow a few raised eyebrows or regulations deter me—if I’d been afraid of such things, I never would’ve entered the navy in the first place. No. I strove to prove I was the best commander in existence. I had to. I had to show everyone I was worthy of being here, and that I’d made the right choice all those cycles ago. If I had to do the same thing with Wyn, I would. I would prove I was worthy of him, every day. And I refused to allow anyone to tell me I wasn’t.
