Now, all we could do was creep toward the closest station. I didn’t know if theAdmiral Vencould be saved, and I wasn’t sure I even cared. Lives had been lost. And we stood to lose even more. The corridors of the ship would always be tainted with the blood of those who’d been lost.
My eyes were latched onto Camden. I feared if I looked away, he would take his last breath, leaving us behind.
If I was scared, Noxlyn was terrified. He wouldn’t move from where he was riveted beside Camden, his hand locked aroundhis still one. His tail never ceased moving. He had snapped at Qinlin and Klars when neither of them could help Camden further, and every time either came near he would ask more questions and demand solutions. He wasn’t giving up.
I wished I was like him, but… I had no hope. Jemtonkilsol and Dilvonsil were gone. Kel’yeena was gone. Cencay was gone. Camden… he was going to die. All it took to see that was a glance. Burns plastered in numbing skins covered one of his arms and the whole side of his chest, up his neck, and had taken one of his ears and marred his cheek. His hip had been shattered as well as one of his legs and a couple of vertebrae.
Klars and Qinlin had repaired his broken bones, mostly, though if he lived, he wouldn’t have full mobility and would exist in a great deal of pain. His burns were infected, and he was in organ failure. It was simply a matter of time.
Monqilcolnen pulled me down onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me, tugging me close. His even breath rushing over the back of my neck soothed some of the tension coiling in my muscles. He was here. That was something. I was here. Seth was here. Urgg was here. So many of us had survived. That was something. But when my eyes landed on Camden, a sob built in my chest. It was something, but not everything.
“I must apologize,” Monqilcolnen whispered low enough that no one beside me would overhear.
Glancing over my shoulder, I asked, “About what, Star?”
His eyes turned glassy, and my soul stumbled. Monqilcolnen cleared his throat. “If I had sensed the siscurras sooner, we could have evaded it.”
“No.” I rolled over, finally letting myself look away from Camden. “No. You can’t blame yourself.”
“I can and do.”
I rested a hand on his cheek, dragging my thumb over him. “It’s my fault.”
“How?” he asked as his eyebrows drew together.
“I hampered the sensors.”
“That wouldn’t have helped us,” Monqilcolnen said, shifting closer to me to press his forehead against mine. “Our sensors wouldn’t have picked up a siscurras in time.”
“Then it isn’t your fault,” I said with a slight smile.
He frowned.
“If our sensors couldn’t have picked up a siscurras in time, then we were fortunate you were in Command when it happened.” I’d known about siscurra not showing up on sensors already, but this seemed the most logical way to help Monqilcolnen. “We would’ve died, Star, if you hadn’t saved us.”
His eyes closed and tears slid down his cheeks. “But I didn’t save everyone.”
I licked the salty drops away. “Even you cannot save everyone, Mate.”
“But I want to.”
“So do I, but we don’t have the power to save everyone, Star.” I took a shuddering inhale. “We are just us, and we have to do our best. We can’t be perfect. You saved us. You saved the ship.”
“But—”
I placed my fingers over his lips to stop him. “No, Monqilcolnen. You cannot save everyone, but you did save us. Now, we just have to keep breathing until it hurts less.”
At the thought of breathing, I rolled back over to look at Camden. His chest was still rising and falling, but even I could see it was shallower and more strained. It would be soon. Tears burned the backs of my eyes. Monqilcolnen dragged me tight against him, holding me securely.
Time passed. Slowly and yet fast at the same time.
Eventually, Kalvoxrencol came with a sleeping Bobbinvoxlyn in his arms, followed by Serlotminden and Bartholomew. They all took a seat and waited in silence with us. A couple hours afterthem, Urgg came in with Captain Talvax in their arms. Finally, she allowed Qinlin to heal her injuries, then both of them settled on a cot, watching Camden while Urgg held Talvax on their lap, gently rocking her.
Time continued to pass, and Camden’s breath grew raspier and slight until his chest stopped and the monitor stopped bouncing with his vitals, going blank.
“No,” Noxlyn cried, pressing his forehead against Camden’s. “No, please don’t leave me.” Tears slid down his cheeks. “You’re my first and only friend. I need you. Please, Camden. Please!”
“Little Shadow,” Qinlin said, coming up behind him and resting her hands on his shoulders. “He is gone.”
