“I know.”
“But I need you to stay safe beside me,” I said, pressing my lips against his for the barest moment. “I could not live through you being harmed. I wouldn’t want to, even if it was possible.”
“I will endeavor to not be injured, then,” he replied, and I chuckled lightly at his earnest tone. “You know that you can talk to me about what you’re feeling, though, right?”
“I know.” I just wasn’t sure how.
“You don’t have to, but I will be here.”
I nudged up his chin to slot our mouths together in a slow kiss. “It’s not that I don’t wish to speak to you, Wyn. It’s that I don’t know how. I am feeling so many things that trying to decide what to talk about is like trying to fasten the wind to the ground. It is impossible.”
“I won’t try to make you,” he said against my mouth, “but I want to help somehow.”
“You are.” I wouldn’t have survived this without Wyn. My soul froze. Was that why? Had Father not told me so I would survive with my mate? I shook my head, my forehead dragging over his and releasing the blooming scent of my mate. The reason mattered not. “I wouldn’t be here without you, Peace.”
He took a shuddering breath. “If you need something from me, please tell me. I wish to be as much assistance as I can be.”
A smile grew at his words. “And I shall.”
Cupping my cheeks, Wyn said, “Shall we return to our quarters?”
I adored them being ‘our’ quarters. “Yes.”
Wyn stood, then pulled me up before wrapping an arm about my waist. With our tails interlocked, we headed back to our quarters, not speaking.
My hands shook as I put on my uniform. Wyn fastened it, giving me a soft smile. It had been a week since the spreading of my parents’ ashes among the stars, and it was time for me to return to my duties. Talvax had been understanding about my grief as well as my need to have Wyn beside me, but theAdmiral Venwas getting worse with every hour that passed. Wyn and the other engineers had been able to slow the progression, but they hadn’t halted, let alone reversed, the damage.
As far as I could tell, Talvax hadn’t made amends with Urgg, which was causing her even more stress. Wyn had told me Urgg was doing better and was leading morale improvement for the civilians on board. That was desperately needed. All civilians had been relocated to the promenade, where they would stay for the remainder of the trip to the Drakcon station we were limping to.
The most soul-crushing aspect of NAID losing control was the slowly dying plants. NAID regulated watering of every plant on board, but it couldn’t anymore. The gardeners were trying to save as many as they could, especially because we needed the plants to produce oxygen and scrub carbon dioxide from the air.
“It will be fine,” Wyn said, smoothing a hand down my chest. He looked up at me with his crystal blue eyes, and my instincts fought against leaving him. Ever.
“I can’t do this,” I replied, drawing him close and rubbing my forehead on his to scent mark him. I needed to go back to work, but what if something happened to Wyn the moment he was out of my sight? I had to protect him. I had to.
“You can.” He went up on his toes, hands balanced on my shoulders, and pressed a kiss on my lips. He didn’t linger, nor allow me to capture him when I chased him. “I know you can, and you must.”
He was correct of course. “Wyn.”
“No, Star.” He rested his fingers over my lips. “It is time. Neither Jemtonkilsol or Dilvonsil would want you to stop living. This, going back, doesn’t mean you’re not mourning their loss or missing them.”
It wasn’t my parents’ deaths that was making me hesitate to leave this morning. It was fear.
“I will see you at the middle hour. We’ll have lunch together.”
“I would like that.”
Wyn looked at Cincin, who was sitting in front of her bowl, screaming. She had been fed, but not as much as she desired. I moved toward her, but Wyn stopped me with his tail blocking the way. “She doesn’t need more.”
“She’s hungry,” I protested.
Cincin yowled, kicking the metal dish with her white-tipped paw.
“She is not hungry,” Wyn said. “She’s just used to you feeding her whenever she wants.”
With her golden eyes on me, she let out a mournful meow, and my soul clenched. “Wyn,” I moaned, my eyes flicking to the dispenser.
“No.” He crossed his arms.
