While he didn’t desire me as I desired him, at least not yet, I was trying to hold on for him, though part of it felt impossible. I had never lived without my parents. They had always been integral to me. Many drakcol on Tamkolvanloknol baulked at the laws of the first phase of adulthood. I hadn’t. I loved myparents' advice, their wisdom, and their steady presence beside me. Both of them had been integral pillars, the foundation of my life, and now I was adrift without them. I was so alone. So completely alone.
How did I do this?
Wyn brushed a kiss to my shoulder as he started scrubbing my scales. He whispered gentle words I couldn’t comprehend as he pressed more and more kisses to my shoulders.
I felt so incredibly weak. Hardly any drakcol succumbed to the withering when it wasn’t the loss of their mate, and yet, I felt it pulling at me, ruining me, killing me. I shouldn’t have felt this way, and still I did. Why? Was it because I was an only child? Too used to their sole attention?
My mate moved in front of me, and I ran my eyes over his delicate features. Wyn was so incredibly lovely. Never had I seen someone as beautiful as him. It was more than his outward appearance—his very soul was lovely. He was one of the best people I had ever known. I was so proud to be his.
A tear slipped out, and Wyn brushed it away before kissing my cheek. “I am here.”
He was, but it did not feel like it.
Wyn licked another errant tear away and whispered, “I am right here, Star.”
Kiss after kiss, he washed my body and loved me. I couldn’t find the words I needed to tell Wyn how much he meant to me, but I leaned into every touch and nuzzled him whenever he came close enough to reach.
After I was clean, he led me from the shower and had me sit on the stool. Wyn grabbed his scale polish. Wyn loved to look his best, but I had never used his products before.
Kneeling, Wyn looked up at me. “I am going to take care of you, just as you took care of me.”
More tears slipped down my cheeks.
Starting at my feet, Wyn massaged the oil into my scales, his tail firmly holding mine. He took his time, not seeming in a hurry, and covered my whole body in oil before standing behind me to comb my hair.
I sobbed. I couldn’t help it.
Wyn did not say anything and continued to free my silver strands of snarls. Then he grabbed a different glass bottle and combed a sweet smelling oil into my hair.
“You will survive this,” Wyn said. “I know it might seem presumptuous of me to say, as I have no family, but you will survive, Star. You are not alone. I will be beside you every step of the way. Never will you be alone. I promise.”
More tears poured down my cheeks.
Wyn kissed them away. “I will be here.”
I snagged my mate close and held him tight to my chest.
I brushed my fingers through the silky strands of Monqilcolnen’s hair. He was passed out on top of me, draped over my lap. I hadn’t been able to convince him to eat, let alone leave the room. His cousins wanted to speak with him, see him, spend time with him, and I was fairly certain something inside of me would relax a tad if he did. It would mean he wasn’t succumbing to his grief, which was a constant worry for me.
Monqilcolnen was relaxed in his sleep, but his tail was gripping mine.
“You don’t need to hold me so,” I whispered, fingercombing his hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Star. You hold my soul. There will be no one else for me, not ever.”
He didn’t react in his sleep.
I closed my eyes. Maybe I should tell him I was his mate. It might be what he needed at this moment, and yet a part of me felt guilty. I didn’t want to pressure him into accepting me. But if it kept him here, perhaps I could be forgiven.
Kissing the top of his head, I whispered, “You are mine. I will not surrender you to anyone, not to your parents, not to fate, not even to death.”
I nuzzled him, spreading my own scent over him.
Gently, I wiggled my tail out of his grasp, then slid out from under him. I kissed his forehead when he made a sad sound. “Don’t worry. You’re safe.”
My fingers trailed over his scales until he calmed. I didn’t want to upset Monqilcolnen, but I needed to do something to show him how much I loved him, how much I wanted him, how much he belonged to me, and how much I belonged to him.
As quietly as possible, I tugged on clothes and slipped out of the room. Both Kalvoxrencol and Serlotminden looked up. Seth was rocking Bobbinvoxlyn, and Bartholomew was asleep on his mate’s lap. Cincin was on her tower, glaring at everyone for imposing on her space—I’d kicked her out to spend time with Seth, which didn’t appear to be helping her.
“He’s alright,” I said, glancing at the closed door. “I have to do something.”
