“Monqilcolnen,” I started.
He planted a kiss on my neck. “I missed you, and I was in no frame of mind to refuse her woeful demands.”
I laughed. “I shall have to be the authoritarian, then.”
“Yes.”
A weird pulse went through my gut. “What about children? Will I have to be the authoritarian then, as well?”
He paused, and I held my breath, tail strangling my ankle. It was far too soon to discuss children, but if he wanted them, I didn’t want to be the sole disciplinarian.
“Do you wish for children, Wyn?”
I squeezed my ankle, terrified he wouldn’t like my answer. No doubt sensing my stress, he rubbed my back.
“You do not have to tell me,” he commented.
“I don’t,” I forced out. I would have them if Monqilcolnen desired them, but I was content in my life and where I was. I had also spent so much of my life surviving that I wanted to spend what remained for myself and with Monqilcolnen. I didn’t want to share my time with him, even with our children.
Monqilcolnen held me tightly, resting his chin on my shoulder. “When I was younger, I wanted children so badly, or I was convinced I did. But even before I became an adult, I realized I didn’t want them. I feared my inner fire would sense something about one of them that would break me, like them not surviving to adulthood or something like that.”
He shook his head. “I also do not wish for them to have my or my father’s inner fire. No. Some gifts do not need to be passed down to burden another generation.”
“I understand that, but you could always adopt a child.”
“I could,” he replied, brushing a hand down my back. “But I don’t want to be a father.”
I turned as much as I could in my position and asked, “You are not just saying that for me, are you?”
“No, Wyn. I have felt this way for a long time. If you desired children, I would have reevaluated my desires, but I’m not sure my opinion would have changed.”
“So just cats?” I asked, my voice a whisper as my soul throbbed. He was thinking of our forever. Monqilcolnen might not love me yet, but at least I was assured of his affections.
“Just cats and us.”
Warmth flooded me. It was a miracle I did not combust on his lap. Before I could turn and plant my lips on his, the chime to his office rang. I started to stand, but Monqilcolnen surrounded me, holding me in place.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I squeaked. I was more than fine with him claiming me so solidly in front of whomever stood on the other side of the door.
“Enter,” Monqilcolnen called, and the door slowly slid open jerkily.
It was NAID. Every process was being affected now. I was fighting to preserve its most important systems while also trying to separate them from NAID and into independent control. It was not working well. Our technology, like many others, was completely reliant on artificial intelligence. Trying to extract some of the processes from NAID’s overwhelming control was proving to be impossible.
Talvax walked in, and I tensed against Monqilcolnen, wanting to hide behind him. He did not flinch, but rather yanked me closer to him as a growl rumbled in his chest. I turned my face to him as much as I could. I wanted to vanish. How I wished I could just wink out of here. Now that would be a useful inner fire, rather than my pointless one. Talvax probably needed to speak to Monqilcolnen alone, which meant I would have to leave. I loathed to separate for even a moment right now.
“You are safe and perfectly fine,” Monqilcolnen whispered in my ear before asking, “What do you need, Captain Talvax?”
His voice was more formal and stiff than I’d ever heard before. If I had to guess, I would say Monqilcolnen was still annoyed at her, though he could hardly say that, as she was his superior.
“I need to speak to Lieutenant Wyn,” she replied.
The low growl built to an audible snarl, and I smoothed a hand over his cheek. I pressed a chaste kiss to his shoulder. “Don’t, Star. She is the captain.”
I shifted in his lap, but I did not leave the safety of his arms. I needed his reassurance, or else I wouldn’t be able to face whatever Talvax wished to say. “Yes, Captain?”
She ran her eyes over me, settling on where Monqilcolnen’s arms held me tightly. “I must apologize.”
