I offered my throat and slinked back down the corridor to the lift. My steps were slow and halting. I had no excitement left. No hope. Nothing.
Chapter 51
When all hope is lost.
Time passed extraordinarily slowly. NAID was losing more and more processing power because my virus was continuing to grow throughout the systems unstopped, unhindered, and without end in sight.
At first, Edith had pressed further into the systems to help fight the virus, but Talvax had ordered her to withdraw from theAdmiral Venentirely, especially with the link severed. Edith was the first sentient artificial intelligence the Drakcol Empire had ever produced. We could not risk losing her.
She’d refused, of course, but she’d been convinced by Seth, or so I was told by Camden because I hadn’t been allowed to seeanyone. Seth didn’t want to lose her, and his fear had been what finally had driven her out.
Talvax had ordered us to stop at the first Coalition station we came to, halting our mission. It was impossible to continue with the ship as it was, though the Vvekians had agreed to meet us at the station and ply their efforts to ours, which was a blessing as their technical skills were far above ours.
All of this was my fault.
No one was allowed to speak to me still. I was officially exiled at the moment. Cencay would give me a sad smile, as would a few others, though they would loudly speak to our berth mates about Monqilcolnen, trying to help in their own way. Vorjyn would speak to me, but he mainly followed me to assure himself I wasn’t dead. I had yet to catch sight of Seth, Urgg, Bartholomew, or Monqilcolnen, and neither of Monqilcolnen’s parents had pinged me again. I missed all of them so much.
The only person who spoke to me was Camden. He didn’t care about the order and openly defied it. He would seek me out, but sightings of him were few and far between. He also came with Noxlyn, who would talk, but sparingly. I highly doubted it was the order that was keeping him silent, though.
Other seekers were working on the same problem as me, but I hadn’t been allowed to confer with them, which annoyed me to no end. I was positive this would go faster if we could all work together. That wasn’t allowed, though, so it hardly bore thinking about, especially with everything else weighing on me.
No, I was alone. Completely and utterly alone. I hadn’t been this alone since I had been a child, since the academy. It was grating on me. I hated it. I couldn’t cope. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating. All I was doing was working. I needed this to be over. Nothing else mattered except ending this threat so the silence would end.
I sat on my bunk, hunched over a screen trying to fight the growing virus. All attempts to contain it had failed. It was actively corrupting the systems, spreading Urgg’s foolish message further and further. A groan from one of my sleeping berthmates made me tense. There were often people around me, but I was so alone. I hated it. I needed more. I needed conversation. I needed my friends. I needed Monqilcolnen.
I stood and walked to the door, but it didn’t open. I growled. Taking a deep breath, I said, “NAID, ask Doctor Qinlin for approval for me to work in the server room.”
It took much too long for NAID to reply, “Affirm-firm-a-a-a-ative.”
A while later the door opened, and I went to the server room. I didn’t need to remain in my berth. What was the point? I could work from the server room and stay there until I could go back to where I belonged. Back to Monqilcolnen.
I paced in the shared space of my quarters. I hadn’t been able to sleep well for days. I missed Wyn like an ache that never went away. He should be here, wrapped in my arms—safe. I had tried to catch a glimpse of him multiple times, but Qinlin and Talvax were restricting his movements. Cencay had mentioned they’d seen Wyn in their shared berth, Camden had spoken to him, and Vorjyn checked on him frequently, but that was it. None of it was near enough. I had to see my Wyn with my own eyes, and soon.
If I didn’t… I shook my head. I would break Talvax’s order, track him down, and stay beside him, regardless of the cost.
Forcing myself to sit down on the couch, I took a deep breath and buried my fingers in Cincin’s fur. She started to purr, andI relaxed. Wyn would solve the problem soon, and we would be together. Everything would be fine.
“Monqilcolnen,” a pinched voice said.
I fished my touchstone out of my pocket to respond, “Yes, Doctor Qinlin.”
“I’m ordering you to report to NAID’s server room.”
I stood. “Why?”
“Wyn has been in there for days and hasn’t once left.”
I bolted out of my quarters and down the corridor before Qinlin had even finished. My soul pounded in terror. My mate. My poor mate. Was he well? Was he ill?
Unaware of or not caring about my fear, she continued in an annoyed voice, “He hasn’t been eating or sleeping. I could see it when I saw him last, and even that fool son of mine noticed. I don’t know what Talvax is thinking. She’s going to break him. He is a brilliant seeker. No one else has even come close to making this kind of code. It’s a work of genius.
“But if anyone can get him to take care of himself, it’s you,” she said. “And now this is a medical issue, so Talvax can answer to me if she has a problem.”
I ended the session without warning. I didn’t care. I appreciated Qinlin ordering me to go, but I didn’t want to listen to her rant about how intelligent Wyn was; I knew how smart and talented he was. I needed to find my mate and hold him, care for him, and love him.
I opened the door to the server room, and my soul stopped in my chest. Wyn didn’t even glance up at the arrival of someone, seemingly uncaring. His pink hair was stringy and hanging around his shoulders. His scales were dull, and he looked thin. More than that, he looked exhausted, possibly even ill.
My mate hadn’t been caring for himself.
