The number sent Ethan's mind whirling, surrounded by a foreign vortex of love and happiness. He'd grown up on the streets, never knowing his own parents. He'd fought forhimself since youth, picking up odd jobs where he could, learning how to survive by relying on his own skill.
Aaron stepped forward and tapped an old black and white photo. “That's Pop, Noni's husband, in front of his F4U Corsair in WWII. He flew over one hundred missions and still made it home to her.” Aaron pointed to the next photo, a soldier in solid green, framed by jungle. “That's Dad when he was in Vietnam. And then that handsome strapping man in the next picture is me. I tell you, they should have put me on the cover of Military Magazine.”
Ethan snorted. “Yeah, I think you may be waiting a long time on that call.”
Aaron continued, completely unfazed. “That is from about twenty years ago, when we were all young. The last picture we have of Noni and Pop together with all the grandkids.”
A younger Noni and Aaron’s grandfather sat on chairs in the yard, children in their laps, standing beside them, on the ground sitting in front. Ethan rubbed the dull ache in his chest. He'd never have that, wasn't meant to. He'd resigned himself to the life of a nomad years ago and knew he'd walk this earth alone.
So why did his damn heart feel like Aaron had just hollowed it out with a dull spoon?
“Got to hit the head. I'll be back in a few minutes and show you to your room. You can just chill here.” Aaron nodded and strode past Ethan down a long hallway off to the right of the living room.
Ethan stared at that last picture, the one of the couple obviously in love surrounded by their offspring, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't place himself there. That life wasn't for him. He knew exactly how his own life would play out. He'd stay in the Special Forces until he was either too injured to stay active or he'd die on a mission. He told himself that was his only choice. Besides, he didn’t knowhowto liveany differently.
The picture of Pop in front of the fighter plane, that he could put himself in easily. Ethan sensed a presence and glanced down at Noni, her weathered gaze fixed with longing on that photo.
“They called him the Eagle. He flew on more missions in that one tour of duty than most men do in an entire lifetime. He said he couldn't stand staying on the ground and leaving his men unprotected.” She sniffed and traced a bony finger over her husband’s face.
The dull ache in Ethan's chest grew. No one would ever stare at his photo with longing.
“When they recruited him for the Kamikaze Brigade, I cried for a month straight. Out of the fifty volunteers who flew into the heart of Germany, only my husband and two others survived.”
“I learned about the Kamikazes in Air Born School. They were hands down the most famous and badass pilots in history.” He didn't tell her the part about the survivors being rumored as mad men. They'd had a mortality rate of over ninety percent, making them not only the most famous, but the deadliest.
But the proud grin and glint in Pop's eye was the same wild look Ethan saw every time he looked into a mirror. “No offense, ma'am, but why did he settle down? I mean, that kind of adrenaline rush...” was for legends.
Not fathers and husbands.
“You know Johnny always told me he planned to die in the war. Didn't think he’d live to see his twenty-fifth birthday, but he had something to live for. Me. I never understood and never tried to really figure him out. I never asked him to give up the service either if that's what you're thinking. After Aaron's father was born I asked Johnny why he'd chosen me and he said, ‘When I saw you, I knew. I knew the rush of being afighter pilot could never measure up to holding the love of the greatest woman I know.’” She sniffed and wiped away a tear. “I still miss him every single day, and I know when my time’s over, I'll be joining him again. He was the greatest man I've ever known.”
Noni’s eyes were red and watery, and Ethan had to fight not to cringe away from her emotions.
“You've got that same rangy lone wolf look Johnny used to have, the way you're staring at all my pictures. Feeling trapped, are you?”
Ethan's throat closed off completely and he couldn't answer her question or argue with her intuitiveness.
“Well there's hope. I promise you that. And you'll know it when you meet her.”
Chapter 6
“Mom,I'm not moving back home.” Kate unzipped her bag in the passenger seat and dug around for her headphones, taking the next turn at what had to qualify for reckless driving. Her jeep skidded sideways on the gravel road, tossed back a fresh spray of gravel and dust, and then righted itself. Not that she would mind slamming into a tree right now if that would effectively end this broken record conversation with her mother.
“But darling, Matt asks about you every day. All he can talk about is how much fun you two had together before you had to go and join that dreadful clan.”
Kate rolled her eyes. Only her mother would refer to the United States CIA as the 'clan.’
“Why you insisted on breaking my heart, I'll never know. For the life of me I can't think of anything I've ever done to make you want to hurt me so much.” Her mother's southern accent slipped through the phone, sweet as honey but tinged with arsenic. At twenty-seven, Kate felt that same burning sense of guilt when she knew she disappointed her mom just like she had when she was eight years old. Just like she disappointed the CIA.
“How many times do I have to tell you? It's nothing you did. I don't make my decisions based on what other people want.I'm a grown-up. And guess what, I was just offered a new job, this one paying twice my former salary. I'm really excited about it. Can't you just be happy for me this one time?” Kate could practically picture the way her mom's lips turned down into a perfect frown, the kind that clearly communicated with just the slightest movement her devastating disappointment in her.
Just like she could picture her dad in the background shaking out his newspaper and rolling his eyes. Kate smiled. He, of all people, had been on her side the whole journey, and for the one time Kate could recall, he'd stood up to her mother when Kate enlisted.
Giving up her search for her headphones, she put the cell on speaker and tried to focus on her mother instead of worrying about Ethan. She hadn’t been able to get him off her mind since that first meeting. Something about him tugged at her – despite the fact he looked like he’d stepped out of a grunge magazine.
Kate sighed to herself. If her mother could read her mind – she’d never hear the end of that one. She had no doubt that if her mother sensed even the slightest hint of her attraction to anyone she’d drive here tomorrow to help things along. Anything to get her baby girl on track.
But Ethan was anything but on the right side of the tracks. She may have only met him briefly, but everything about him screamed bad boy.
