His dad didn’t leave. He died. He took his thousandth fucking mission, ground his mother’s heart into their graveldriveway and never came home.
A growl built in his throat. “Drop it.”
“Stop blaming yourself.” Ethan’s voice dropped and he let the photo’s fall into Aaron’s bag. “Your mother wasn’t your fault back then and Celine’s not your fault now.”
Aaron slowly lowered the weight this time, allowing his comment to pass without reaction. His teammate was wrong on both counts. He’d seen the clues in his mom. She’d started with the drinking first and then the anti-depressants. And then he’d gone and done exactly what his dad had done before he was killed in action, he’d left.
Just like he would always do.
He’d devoted his life to the Teams. His country. His brothers in arms.
A life in the special forces was not a life for a relationship. His firsthand experience with the disaster of his parents failed attempt was enough to keep him forever away from giving his heart to any woman other than the Statue of Liberty.
He was man enough to admit that he’d been week with Celine. She’d been the first woman who’d ever tempted him from his duties. He’d actually thought about more than a one night stand with her – he’d envisioned a future together. And because he’d given into that weakness, she’d been taken by the one man who could do the most damage.
Ethan would never understand, he had his woman. Kate was safe and sound, waiting on him to return home. At least until she wasn’t. “Let it go.”
“Not until you do.” Ethan faced off with him, hands balled into fists at his side.
Aaron straightened, for one second letting the pain show in his expression. “When Kate dies because of you, come talk to me about letting go.”
Ethan threw his hands up in the air and stomped over to the weight bench. “Your mom’s gone, man. Celine’s not. You’vestill got a chance.”
“Not if I don’t find her.” Not even then. He hadn’t learned before but he had now. Fate had given him one chance – she wouldn’t allow another one. He’d find Celine, deliver her safely home and walk the hell away before he did more damage than he’d already done.
Ethan shot him a look of quiet anger. “We.”
“What?”
“Wewill find them. You’re not the only one on this team. We were all there when Celine and Caroline were kidnapped, in case you’ve forgotten.” Ethan fell back on the bench and lifted the barbell straight over his chest with a grunt. “If you aren’t willing to let go of the guilt, at least realize you don’t have the corner market on it.”
Aaron stared at him, testing his friend’s words, allowing them to roll around in his mind. Maybe with Shane, their teammate, he wasn’t alone in the feeling. They’d all fell for the ambush – set up by their very own CIA liaison. TF-S had moved in without question to motivation and still hadn’t realized they’d snuck right into a trap until they were right in the middle of a shit storm of combatants.
What about Celine? Could he share the blame of her kidnapping with them?
Hell, no he couldn’t. He hadn’t told Ethan about sleeping with her or about the fact he’d left his post because he couldn’t stay away from her. Only their commander, Colonel Grey, knew that he’d given in to the insurmountable temptation of Celine Latimer. He’d broken his vow to his mother that he’d never put a woman through her hell in one scorching night of passion that had permanently seared his soul.
Ethan snorted. “You’re skull’s as thick as that metal bar.”
Aaron grunted gratefully at Ethan’s change in conversation. His limit for talking about his failures had been reached a week ago. “Can’t argue that.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“What?”
“You agreed with me. What’s that – like the second time since we’ve been over here?” Ethan said.
“Quit with the chick talk and start talking about howweare going to gut J and I’ll talk all day.” Aaron emphasized the we just for Ethan’s benefit.
He could feel Ethan rolling his eyes. “I get it. No more talking about anything but the mission.”
“And killing Mr. J.,” Aaron finished for him.
“We’ll find them. We’ve already narrowed their location down to this area of the desert.”
“You mean this hundred-square mile radius of ISA loyalists protecting our old liaison? Mr. J wants nothing more than to make us pay.”
The Islamic State of Afghanistan, the lead terrorist organization in the world, along with the help of Mr. J, was responsible for kidnapping Caroline Cotter during her high-profile wedding to General Rainer. A relationship crafted in the hallways of JSOC themselves and a bargain struck between the senator in command of JSOC and his four-star General. It was a match made in Department of Defense, DOD, heaven.
