“Thank you for telling me,” she said in a softtone.
“I want you to know everything so you can trust us. You can trust me. We are going to helpyou.”
“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt,” shesaid.
“You can’t do this on your own. You’ve seen that now.” The image of her in that house, tied to the chair flashed in his mind and his grip tightened reactively. She’d had blood all over her, just like Trigger when Diggs had rescued him on theroad.
Another thought struck him, “The man with the bat, that was yourdad?”
“Unfortunately, he’s a blood relative. But I haven’t thought of him as my father in a very, very longtime.”
“And your mother?” He didn’t remember seeing anything about her mother in Jeremy’shistory.
“She left us when we were little. I used to hate her but now I understand why. We heard a few years ago that she’d died in a car wreck. We went to her funeral together, but we didn’t stay and talk to anyone. It was toostrange.”
Even though his mother had been hard-pressed to give him her undivided attention, she’d always been there when he needed her. He couldn’t imagine growing up without one. “I’m sorry you didn’t knowher.”
Every word she spoke made him realize that Jeremy really was the only family she had left, which helped him better understand her anger andfear.
“So, what about your family?” She started rubbing her cheek against his chest, and the friction was driving him crazy. Diggs had to fight to concentrate on theirconversation.
“My family history isn’t really that interesting. I’m the youngest of six brothers. Mom and Dad worked hard to provide for us, they always made sure we had what we needed.” He’d never lacked for anything, but he also never feltfull.
“You had that many brothers? Geez, I feel sorry foryou.”
Her sarcastic comment took him back. “Why would you feel sorry for me?” From everything she’d told him, her family life had been no walk in the park. She made him feel ashamed for feeling like he didn’t have enough. Compared to what she’d gone through with her mother and father and brother, his family life was afairytale.
“I love Jeremy more than anything, but when I say he was protective, I mean he could drive me nuts. When one of his friends asked me out on a date in high school, he nearly got into a fist fight. Let’s just say having an older brother seriously limited my social life. Having five of them?” She gave a shudder. “I can onlyimagine.”
Diggs frowned. He’d never thought of it like that. He’d never really thought much about anything except the fact that he’d always measured up second best and had to work harder to get the sameresults.
“I guess I never thought of it like that,” he said honestly. “They were always just a part of my life.” At least they had been before he’d become a part of Project Mayhem. Now he couldn’t even contact them for fear General Rainier would have trackers on them. Diggs would die before he became the reason his family was executed or used against him or anyone on theteam.
“I bet they’re so proud of you.” Audra blushed and looked down at their hands where he’d joined them. “I mean I guess most people are proud of their family members for being in themilitary.”
Diggs’ throat closed off, choking the words he longed to confess. His family didn’t know anything about him. They were probably ashamed of him, the black sheep. The rogue son. As far as his family knew, he had been dishonorably discharged from the military a few years ago, around the time he went to forces recon and had been adopted into the black ops unit. God, he wished he could tell them that he’d made something of himself—that he’d savedlives.
He fought to contain the dark emotions but somehow his lips opened and the words spilled out. “They don’t know,” he saidquietly.
“What do youmean?”
Why was he telling her this? He’d never told anyone about this part of his life. His teammates knew he’d disappeared, but they had too. It was a sacrifice they’d all made willingly. “I became a part of the military that no one can know about. They think I’m a wanderer. A guy who can’t keep a job and hops from state tostate.”
“Oh Diggs, I had noidea.”
He tried to shrug it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “I knew exactly what I was sacrificing when I made the decision.” And he’d never lookedback.
This time Audra took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. “I think I may have had it easier than you,” she said in a soft whisper-liketone.
“Easier? My family is stillalive.”
“And they sound like amazing people. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to know they’re out there, but you can’t pick up your phone and call them. That takes incredible strength to deny yourself such a basicneed.”
She thought him amazing andstrong?
He didn’t know what to say. His mouth wouldn’t form words, and neither would his mind. She was turning his entire being upside down. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way, so off balance. She was the one in need of help, not him. He’d known what he was doing when he signed up for Project Mayhem; he was the one responsible, no oneelse.
But the way she was looking at him, not with pity but with awe, humbled him. So, he did the only thing he could—he kissed her, long and hard, putting everything he couldn’t say out loud into his actions. When he drew away they were both breathless andtrembling.
