“I’m sorry, but I can’t take the chance that he will get to you again.” He refused to allow her to be injured or captured again, not under his watch. “Besides, it won’t be that long. We’ll find him or he’ll come here to finish what he started.” Which meant cleaning up his tracks and the only guarantee for that would be killing Caroline. “He won’t stop. Believe me, I know from personal experience.”
She plucked at a small loose thread on the back of the leather couch. “How exactly do you know my – my father’s enemy? I thought he worked for Cotter.”
Merc’s lips twisted into a cruel snare of a smile, more of self-depreciation than anything else. “Once upon a time, I was young and stupid and I believed all the bullshit J fed me. He’d saved me when I wasn’t much older than a teenager. At the time, I thought it was because he was a good man, but later on, I found out it was because he’d seen me in action as a solider. He valued my skills and wanted to use me.”
“So before him, you worked for the CIA?”
Merc never told anyone about his lack of memory, not even his TF-S teammates, but there was something about the girl standing in front of him that made him want to tell her. “I don't remember anything before waking up in a hospital with J telling me he’d barely saved my life. He told me I was a foot soldier, but I never found my records. Who knows, I could've been black ops before then – a mercenary, an assassin – or I could have been some CIA recruit injured in battle, something I might not ever know.” Normally he’d feel that pang of self-loathing for letting J get away, but this time, looking into Caroline’s eyes, he had zero regrets for choosing her life over his past.
“What you're saying is basically your entire life has been some sort of training and work as a soldier. Haven't you ever been curious about the outside world? Didn't you want to know what it was like to have a normal life?” Her probing question caught him off guard.
“I wouldn't know how.” At her look of chagrin, he found himself frantically searching for an explanation. A normal person would probably want to do things like he'd seen on TV – go to the movies, go out to eat, come home, take out the trash, mow his one-acre lot in a suburb where everyone else’s house looked exactly the same. It was a life he'd never had and never wanted. “I know you can’t understand this, having grown up in a normal home, but I don't know how to be anything else other than a soldier.”
She blinked then looked away for a moment.“You think this is normal?” When she looked back, her face was tinged with dark shadows. “I've been locked in a bubble my entire life, hidden from everyone else, from the public, from being normal. I’ve never been allowed the freedom to do what I please. I’ve never even... kissed a man. How pathetic is that?”
Merc's heart lurched in his chest, and despite his better judgment, he went around the couch to stand directly in front of her. Her soft, perfect skin called out to him. He cupped her chin, tilting her head back. “You've been trapped as much as I have.”
As if his thumb had a mind of its own, he rubbed back and forth, tracing her cheek. When she leaned into his touch, warmth blossomed in his chest.
“I've always wondered what it would be like. Is it like on TV when the guy kisses the girl and she lifts her foot back?”
Her blunt honesty rocked him to his core. He didn't know. How could he? His soldier’s life hadn’t exactly been riddled with free time. As far back as he could remember, he'd never been with a woman.
What would it be like? For the first time he could remember, Merc wanted to know and he wanted to find out with Caroline.
He lowered his head to hover an inch above hers, captivated by her spicy sent. “Do you want to find out?”
Her nostrils flared and her breath fanned across his face, a caress to his scarred and rough skin.
“Because I do.” Unable to resist a moment longer, Merc touched his lips to hers, hesitant at first and unsure. Then she groaned and wrapped her small hand around his neck to tug him down to her and he lost himself.
A waterfall of desire crashed over his entire body and Merc caved, bending at the waist to wrap his arms around her and lift her against him as he took her lips in a fevered kiss. He tasted every ounce of her, every drop of sweetness, every nuance of the sweet vanilla flavor of her lips. He couldn't get enough.
Opening against her, he slanted his head and took her mouth deeply, his tongue mating with hers as her fingers tugged and dug in his hair. He'd never felt anything so rapturous as Caroline Cotter.
Groaning, he leaned back against the couch, squeezing her to him harder as he sought to take her mouth even deeper. Caroline whimpered and, afraid he'd hurt her, he started to pull back until she dug her nails in and held him to her, taking his lips just as forcefully.
His hands found their way to the curve of her hips, sliding around to palm her perfect ass in those yoga pants. He lifted her higher, wrapping her legs around his waist, taking her mouth more easily as he buried one hand in her hair, his every intention to devour her whole.
In that moment, nothing existed but Caroline. Not his mission. Not his need for revenge. Nothing but the girl in his arms.
She moaned low in the back of her throat, practically clawing him as she climbed up his body. The friction proved too much and Merc broke away, gasping for breath as he lowered his head to gently nip at the curve of her neck. He licked and nipped his way down her shoulder and back up, along the delicate curve of her jaw, and placed a kiss to her chin before devouring her lips once more.
“Miss Caroline?”
Caroline didn't stop, just continued to kiss him with the same amount of passion as before, but for Merc, the spell had been broken. He lifted his mouth from hers, but couldn't tear his gaze away. Her lips were swollen and lush, and the soft little pants she made to catch her breath nearly brought him to his knees.
“I'm so sorry to bother you. I thought you might be hungry and I could serve you in the study. Just ring when you're ready.” Francis bowed out of the room and softly shut the door behind her.
Merc eased Caroline down to the floor, savoring every inch of her body as it rubbed against his. When she stood on her own two feet once more, he tipped her chin back, one arm still wrapped possessively around her waist. “You okay?”
She bit her swollen bottom lip and nodded. Blood flooded his cock, its length digging into his pants and pressing against her stomach. But Caroline didn't seem to mind or even notice. She was focused once more on his mouth, and he knew exactly what she was thinking.
Dammit, if she didn't stop looking at him like that he wouldn't be responsible for his actions. It was taking every ounce of willpower he possessed not to pin her to the wall and take her lips again. “Caroline, you need to rest.”
She didn’t move, seeming locked in a daze and Merc realized what a shit position he’d put them in. He’d been caught kissing the girl he’d been assigned to protect. Francis could jeopardize his position. Even worse, getting emotionally entangled with an asset could jeopardize his ability to protect her. Fuck, he was stupid. And weak.
He’d been in the business long enough to know not to get involved. Ever.
“Go now.” His voice came out harsher than he’d intended, but there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Need clawed at his insides, and if she didn't get the hell out of the room, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taking her.
Merc knew without a doubt he’d made the right decision before, back at J’s palace, when he’d clung to Caroline and saved her life. But now, watching her flee, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d chosen wrong this time.
He should have held on to her.
