"She doesn't mean it," Kenna says, as if speaking the words will somehow make them true. She reaches over and places her hand on mine, squeezing it gently. "Whatever Millie said, she doesn't mean it. She loves you, Gabriel."
I don't believe her. At least, not right now. The pain is too raw, too fresh.
I shake my head, staring at my drink like it's the only thing left that understands me. "Didn't seem like it," my voice hoarse, mythroat tight. The bitterness laces my words, but I can't help it. It's the only thing I can hold onto in this moment.
Kenna doesn't seem phased by my bitterness. Instead, she leans in a little closer, her eyes locking onto mine with that sisterly determination she always has. "No, Gabriel, you can't just give up on her. This meeting wasn't even what you wanted to do. Tomorrow—tomorrow will be better. I promise you that when you ask my little sister to marry you tomorrow, it will be worth it."
I stare at her for a long moment, doubt swirling inside me. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can go in front of her again, heart on my sleeve, and hope that she'll understand. Hope that she'll say yes when all I've ever wanted is her happiness. My happiness is wrapped up in her—it has been since the moment I met her.
"You really believe that?" I ask, my voice raw with the weight of everything. "Kenna, she didn't even give me the chance to talk. I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her."
Kenna's face softens, and she lets out a deep breath, as if my words have shaken her more than I expected. I know she wants to see Millie happy. I know she wants to see me happy, too. But what if what I'm asking for isn't what Millie wants?
"Gabriel, just stick to the plan tomorrow," she says, her voice steady. "Tell her exactly how you feel. I know without a doubt that she feels the same way. You just need to be honest with her. Don't hide behind any walls. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
I nod, though I'm not sure if I believe her words. But I have no other choice. I'm not giving up on her, not without a fight.
Kenna gives me a quick hug before slipping her coat on and walking out the door. I sit there for a few minutes, the bar now empty except for the faint hum of a few leftover conversations.
My mind spins in circles, wondering if there's any chance Millie will understand. But in the end, all I can do is wait for tomorrow and pray she's willing to listen.
The next morning arrives with a headache that doesn't seem to have any sympathy for me.
I can barely remember the last few hours of sleep, but I have no time to dwell on it. Today is the day—the day that could make or break my future. The day I ask Millie to marry me.
After a quick shower to wash away the remnants of the night, I make my way to Aura's room. She's still sleeping, and I stand there for a moment before waking her.
"Good morning, my little Bean," I whisper, and as if my voice reaches my daughter in her sleep, her eyes begin to flutter open. Her big, bright ocean blue eyes that stare straight into my soul. Her gaze locks into mine, and for a second, I lose myself in my daughter's gaze.
Aura blinks slowly, her eyebrows scrunching to make sense of the world around her. His lips curl into a bright smile, and I can't help but smile back at the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.
Millie has a smile like that too. She has a smile that lights up her face- it engulfs her. The warmth of her smile is like being wrapped up in a blanket on a cold night.
It's a smile I want to protect, to keep safe. It is the kind of smile that can heal the bad days and make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world to be the one to see it. To even be the reason for it sometimes.
"Hey there," I murmur, reaching down to tickle her tummy. She giggles, then stretches her arms out, stretching into the day ahead.
"Ready to get up?" I ask softly, watching her smile even wider. I know she is just a baby, but sometimes it feels like she is the only one who understands me. The one who knows exactly how to make me feel like I'm on top of the world with just one look.
Aura's smile widens as I scoop her up, cradling her against my chest. Her tiny body fits perfectly into the curve of my arm.
Aura nestles her head into my shoulder and my heart swells with love and pride. She smells like baby lotion and sleep, I let the weight of her tiny body ground me.
I rock her and softly hum a lullaby. It's one that I have sung to her since she was a newborn.
Her eyelids flutter as she recognizes the tune, and she is suddenly calm again. Resting her hand on my chest, everything feels perfect.
"Today is a big day, baby girl. Today is the day that hopefully your mama says yes to marrying me." I say, more to myself than to you, as you don't understand much yet. "I just hope she says yes."
I walk towards the changing table, immediately going to work. Every time I change her, it feels like a miracle. Her giggles, her body squirming, her curious eyes watching me—these moments are the ones I remember forever.
"Ok, Aura Bean, let's get you ready for the day," I say, smiling, reaching for the wipes. Aura reaches for the lotion on the side of the table, as if she knows what it is, her tiny fingers curl around it with determination. I laugh softly, moving the bottle out of her grasp.
"Not yet," I tease, wiping her belly, making her giggle again. Her giggles are like music to my ears. I never get tired of them.
Once she's dressed in the white dress Kenna picked out for her to wear, I lift her into my arms again. She's wide awake now, her eyes filled with curiosity as she watches the world around her.
I carry her into the kitchen, setting her into her high chair as I prepare oatmeal for her. The moment I mix in mashed bananas, her face lights up in excitement, her mouth open in anticipation.
