At night, I replay every word, every glance, every moment with a painful clarity that makes it impossible to rest.
I know, logically, it would be reckless of me to get married to a man I’ve only officially been dating for the past two months. But when I close my eyes, I feel the pull, the longing to say yes. To make it real.
It’s like a quiet ache deep in my chest. Part of it is hope, part of it is fear telling me that maybe this could be the beginning of something true and lasting. But the voice of caution is loud. Louder than I want to admit.
“Hey, Mills, both of your sisters are here to see you,” Breanna, one of my baristas, calls out from the doorway.
“Thanks Bren, tell them I’ll be right out.” I reply, taking a moment to finish the list of things Ishouldbe doing.
Lucie and Kenna texted earlier in the week about a girl’s day, and I could use a distraction. A day to forget, even if for just a few hours.
“Okay. I’m ready for our girl’s day,” I say as I step out from behind the counter, but I freeze as I spot Gabriel at the front of the café, ordering his usual post-shift pick-me-up.
He turns to look at me, and that smile—oh God, that smile—blooms across his face. Butterflies stir in my stomach.
Why does he have to be so goddamn irresistible?It would be one thing if he was a jerk, but he is so good to me. Nothing but kind.
I was the jerk. The one who walked away, the one who couldn’t find the courage to say what was really in my heart.
“Bumper,” Gabriel says, a pleading look in his eyes.
I force myself to look away, telling myself I won’t make this harder than it already is. But the ache in my chest twists tighter.
As we head to Lucie’s car, Kenna breaks the silence.
“So, was that the first time you’ve seen him since…you know?” she asks cautiously, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.
I nod, staring out the window, willing the conversation to end. No such luck. Lucie pipes up from the front.
“Yeah, he looked kind of sad. I feel bad for the guy.”
I roll my eyes.Seriously?They’re on his side?
“You do realize that he basically proposed to me out of nowhere, right?” I say, my voice tight. “I would do anything for Aura, getting married to someone I’ve been dating for less than three months. It’s way too soon.”
Kenna and Lucie exchange a look. Then Kenna, ever the practical one, shrugs.
“Well, hon, it’s not like you just met the man two months ago. You’ve known him for oversixmonths. Stayed in his house, went on vacation together. Honestly, your relationship status is kind of irrelevant.”
I can’t argue with that. She’s right. I’ve known Gabriel long before we became a couple, but thisstillfeels too soon.
“Yeah,” Lucie chimes in, “What’s the harm in getting married now? You love him, right?” Lucie asks.
But love doesn’t always equal readiness. That’s what no one seems to get. Just because my heart knows him doesn’t mean my mind and body are caught up. I’m still scared—terrified, really—of losing myself again, of stepping into something I can’t undo.
Why does my heart feel like it’s stuck between a rock and a hard place?
We pull up to the nail salon, Kenna immediately starts raving about the latest nail trends. She’s all over these glazed donut nails—very fitting for my café aesthetic. She also shows me some “Aura” nail designs, and I can’t help but smile at the thought of my little girl.
We sit down in the waiting area, and I’m torn between baby pink and blue. Kenna pushes me toward the pink, and I happily comply.
Our parents text us while we are at the salon telling us that we are having family dinner in a week at Reuben’s restaurant after getting family photos retaken. A small reminder that life goes on, no matter what our hearts are tangled in.
Once we have finished getting our nails done, we head to a Bistro nearby. As we chat about about costume ideas for the Halloween Bash, Kenna is adamant I ditch my usual costume and go for something new.
“You’ve been the same thing the past two years!” Kenna says, clearly appalled by my reluctance to change.
“I’m just saying,” I reply with a shrug, “It’s a safe option. Plus, I’ve won all the awards already.”
