I try to brush it off. I took something earlier to calm my nerves, but it’s not helping as much as I’d hoped…and I can already feel the telltale pins and needles climbing up my arms.
Admitting my fear to Gabriel now feels more terrifying than the actual flight. I’m just praying I can keep it together for the whole ten hours.
When we make it to the airport, I’ve realized I’ve overcompensated to keep myself distracted. While we wait for our plane to arrive at the gate, I take Aura into three different stores.
I pick up an oversized fuzzy blanket, a coloring book, a pack of colored pencils, and a bag of sour strips.
I don’t need any of it. I just need to feel like I’m doing something. Like I’m not completely unraveling inside.
But when we get back to the gate, I feel it creeping back again—the acid churning in my stomach, the jittery legs, the fight-or-flight responses kicking in.
I can’t help but bounce my leg nervously.
“Mills.”
Gabriel’s voice is calm, but it cuts through my panic like a warm knife through butter. His words make me inhale sharply—I hadn’t realized I wasn’t breathing.
He holds out my boarding ticket I tucked in my passport. “Here’s your boarding ticket. I grabbed it out of the side pocket of your backpack so you had it ready before we started boarding."
“Oh, thanks, Gab,” I say, trying to sound normal, but I know my fingers are trembling when I take the ticket. I can barely look him in the eye, but his gaze doesn’t leave me.
He pulls his hand back as if sensing something is off. “Bumper, are you okay?”
I do my best to flash a smile, even though it feels more like I’m forcing it. “Absolutely! Why wouldn’t I be?” The words come out tight, like my throat is closing up on me.
Gabriel gives me a long, scrutinizing look. “You’re shaking.”
Damn it. Why did he have to notice now? Of all times for Gabriel to pay attention to me, it had to be now.
I try to cover up my growing panic, but I can feel the sweat beading on my forehead. “It’s cold in here, don’t you think?”
He doesn’t buy it. Not for a second. But instead of pressing me for details, he just gives me a look—one that says, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I appreciate that more than I can say, but I feel like I’m failing him.
The airport employees call our boarding group, and the knot in my stomach tightens further. I can’t seem to get my legs to move. I freeze, paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. Should I just turn around and go home?
No, no. I can’t do this. I should just go home.
The idea of getting on this plane and spending nearly ten hours stuck in a metal cylinder thousands of feet in the air at the expense of a pilot I don’t even know—just seems simply impossible.
The line moves forward, and the gate attendant gives me that look. “Miss? Your boarding pass?”
But before I can respond, Gabriel reaches into my pocket,grabbing the slip of paper, momentarily replacing the cold panic in my stomach with a wave a heat. “I’ve got it here,” He says smoothly, handing it over to the employee.
I’m still standing there, not moving. Gabriel leans in close, his voice barely above a whisper, as he puts a hand on the small of my back.
“Bumper, just breathe. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay.”
I’m not sure I believe him, but I nod anyway. His presence is grounding me in ways I didn’t know I needed.
“Aura can sense you’re upset. See?” Gabriel points out to me.
I completely forgot about Aura. I’ve been too busy panicking. I plaster on a smile, looking at the little girl whom I love so much.
“Miss, are you all right?” the employee asks.
“What’s your definition of all right?”
She makes a face.
