His words land heavy, but true. I think of all the chances I’ve had to change things, all the choices I made or didn’t make. This time, I have to choose differently.
I look up at him, and for the first time since I found out about Cohen, I feel a little bit of clarity. It’s not all lost. I can still try. I have to try.
Reuben stands up, refilling his mug, and I follow his lead, finally taking a sip of my own coffee. It burns my tongue, but it feels good. The sharpness of the heat grounds me for a second, helps me refocus.
“Kenna’s strong, man,” Reuben says after a pause. “But she didn’t do it alone. I’ve seen her struggle, especially when Cohen was younger. She carried a lot of weight, and she’s carried it for a long time. But Cohen’s her world. Everything she does is for him.”
I nod, swallowing hard. I know. I know Kenna better than anyone. She’s always been so selfless, always doing what’s best for the people she loves, but I never realized how deep it went until now.
“You’re not just some guy in the picture,” Reuben continues. “Cohen’s not going to see you as someone who just showed up out of nowhere. He’s going to see you as his dad. And that’s going to take time. But he’s a smart kid. He will not judge you for not having been there before. He’s going to want you to be there now.”
I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “I hope you’re right.”
Reuben doesn’t answer, but he gives me a look. He doesn’t need to say anything else. He’s already said enough.
By the time afternoon rolls around, I’m feeling a little more grounded. A little more at ease. I know I need to face Kenna, but the fear is still there, lurking in the back of my mind. What if she’s angry? What if she resents me for not being there?
What if she’s moved on? I don’t just mean romantically. What if she’s closed the door on the version of me that could’ve been part of their life?
The door to Reuben’s house opens, and I hear footsteps coming down the hallway. I stand up, my stomach churning. But it’s just Reuben. He glances at me and raises an eyebrow. “Still want to go see Kenna today?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah. I have to. I can’t put it off any longer.”
Reuben gives me a half-smile. “Just take it one step at a time, man.”
I drive to Kenna’s house in silence. My hands grip the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. I don’t know what to expect when I see her. I don’t know how she’ll react to me. I don’t know how I’ll react toher. All I know is that I need to face her. I need to look her in the eyes and try to make things right.
When I pull into her driveway, my heart races. I turn off the engine and sit there for a moment, taking a few deep breaths. My phone buzzes again, and I glance at the screen. It’s a message from Kenna.
Sunshine
I’m here. Come in when you’re ready.
I swallow hard and get out of the car, my legs shaky as I walk to the front door.
I knock.
The door opens almost immediately. Kenna stands in the doorway, her eyes cautious but soft. She’s beautiful, as always, but there’s a weariness about her I’ve never noticed before. She’sholding herself together, but I can see it—how much this has taken out of her.
“Cole,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
When I try to speak, my words get stuck in my throat. I can’t find the right thing to say. I can’t find the words to explain everything I’m feeling. All I can do is stand there, looking at her, and let the tears come.
“I’m sorry, Kenna,” I say, my voice cracking. “I’m so sorry.”
Her eyes fill with unshed tears as she steps forward, closing the gap between us. She doesn’t say anything at first. She just pulls me into a hug. And for the first time in a long time, I let myself fall into it, holding her close as the tears spill down my face.
I press my face into her shoulder, breathing in orange and cinnamon. Bright and warmth that makes this moment feel like home. My arms tighten around her, and for just a second, I let myself believe this might be a beginning.
I don’t know how long we stand there, just holding each other. All I know is that I’m not ready to let go. Not yet.
She shifts closer, pressing her entire body against mine like she’s afraid to let even an inch of space between us. My hands slide up her back, fingers splaying between her shoulder blades as I hold on tighter. Her palms flatten against my chest, bunching the fabric of my shirt in her fists as though she needs something solid to cling to.
I feel her breath against my neck—soft, shaky, warm—and she tucks her face into the curve where my shoulder meets my jaw. Her lips brush my skin, not intentionally, just from how close we are, but the contact sends something sharp and aching through me. My thumb traces small circles at the base of her spine, trying to soothe whatever tremor I can feel pulsing under the surface.
Her heartbeat is fast, almost frantic, and mine isn’t any steadier. I slide one hand up into her hair, fingertips brushing the back of her neck. She melts into the touch, her body relaxing by inches, like she’s been holding herself rigid for days and finally let go. The longer we stand there, the more it stopsfeeling like an embrace and starts feeling like gravity—inevitable, anchoring.
Finally, she pulls back slightly, looking at me with a soft, sad smile. “I don’t know what to say, Cole. But I’m glad you’re here.”
