Not near my door. Not wandering the yard. Sitting directly on the top step like he's been posted there on guard duty.
"Hey, buddy," I say, too tired to be surprised. "Were you waiting for me?"
He stands, stretches, and meows once. Accusatory.
"I know. Thirty-six hours. I should've left you a note."
I unlock the door and he follows me inside, winding between my ankles in a figure-eight pattern that nearly trips me. I swear Kevin rustles nervously from his windowsill perch.
I drop onto the couch without bothering to change out of my uniform. Clarence jumps up beside me and stares.
"What?" I ask.
He headbutts my hand.
"I'm fine."
He headbutts my hand again, harder.
"Seriously, I'm---"
My voice cracks.
Clarence climbs into my lap---into my lap, which he hasn't done since the volcano book night on the porch swing---and settles. He's heavier than he looks. Thirteen pounds of orange cat and unsolicited opinions, warm and insistent against my stomach, his claws pressing lightly through my uniform like little anchors. He purrs, and the vibration goes straight through my chest.
And just like that, I break.
The tears come ugly and sudden, burning behind my eyes, choking my throat. I press my face into Clarence's fur and let myself fall apart.
Four years old.
Flatline.
The mother screaming.
Clarence purrs through all of it. Doesn't squirm, doesn't bolt. Just sits there like he's doing me a favor while I cry into his orange fur and shake with the weight of things I can't put down.
Hours later---after the crying stops, after I wash my face and change into normal clothes, after I sleep through most of the afternoon---I wake to dusky light filtering through the windows.
Clarence has relocated to the armrest, where he watches me with those unblinking yellow eyes.
"Thanks," I tell him.
He slow-blinks. Cat for you're welcome, I suppose, though I still maintain you're a lowly human.
Through the wall, Beck's voice carries. Deeper than Ivy's, rougher around the edges, but there's a playfulness to it I haven't heard before.
"'The Tyrannosaurus Rex,'" he reads, adding a growl that makes Ivy shriek with laughter, "'was the fiercest predator of the Late Cretaceous period!'"
"Do the ROAR, Daddy!"
"I am doing the roar."
"LOUDER!"
"Ivy, it's bedtime. I'm not waking up the whole neighborhood."
"Gemma won't mind!"
