Chapter Twelve
The stack of burning boards in the fireplace collapsed in a flash of glittering sparks, startling Tess out of Darach’s embrace. Instinctively, she whirled, half-expecting to find the intruder they’d been unable to locate.
“Easy, lass,” Darach soothed. “ ’Twas only the fire.”
“I know,” she muttered shakily, struggling to calm her racing heart. “I’m sorry. I’m…not used to being distracted to the point I’m unaware of my surroundings.”
She stifled a groan of embarrassment. What possessed her to say that? It made her sound weak, unable to control her reactions. She bristled, unwilling to acknowledge the kernel of truth in it. Even worse, she couldn’t believe she’d just thrown herself at Darach in such a brazen manner.
Despite the warmth creeping up her neck, she crossed her arms and rubbed them briskly as she moved away, uncomfortable knowing her sudden chill had more to do with the lack of Darach’s embrace, than the dying fire. However, she’d cut her tongue out before expressing such mortifying thoughts again. You’d think she’d never been held and kissed by a man. Okay, she conceded, perhaps not quite so thoroughly, but she wasn’t completely without experience. Although no one, had ever tempted her to initiate such a kiss. Until now.
“It’s getting colder. I should make sure Emily is warm enough.”
An awkward silence filled the room as she fussed with Emily’s covering, casting furtive glances at Darach while he stirred the glowing embers and added a sturdy chunk of coal.
“This should provide steady warmth through the night, but I’ll keep a close eye on it,” Darach said turning to face her. “Dinnae fash. I’ll see that the bairn stays warm.”
“Thank you.” Tess muttered, brushing a hand over Emily’s hair. “She didn’t have any dinner, poor thing. She’ll be starving by morning.”
Struggling to blink away the sudden sting watering her eyes and prickling her throat, Tess swallowed several times before she could put her thoughts into words. “I was so frightened.” She looked up at Darach, feeling helpless all over again. “I couldn’t stand losing her, too.”
“Ye won’t,” Darach said harshly, as he knelt on the other side of Emily and reached across to capture both of Tess’ hands. “I promise.”
Tess looked at his earnest face and shook her head, surprised to feel an even deeper level of disappointment “How can you promise anything? You’re leaving, remember?”
A flash of surprise and a slow acknowledgement of truth tightened the rugged contours of Darach’s face, almost as if he’d forgotten. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. Tess pulled her hands free. He wasn’t going to deny it. Any hopes she’d held onto that he might want to stay, shattered.
They rose at the same time, both searching for somewhere else to look, something else to busy themselves with.
“ ’Tis late.” Darach walked to the stack of supplies from the car. “Ye need yer rest. If ye’ve another of those contrivances,” he waved a finger toward Emily’s mattress, “I’ll ready a place for ye.”
“I’ll do it,” Tess replied, grateful for the distraction. “I’m sorry, but I only brought the two twin mattresses. I hadn’t planned on…anyone else.”
“Dinnae fash, lass. I’ve been sleeping on the cold ground for cen—uh—for a long time, now. I’ll be cozy enough wrapped in my plaid.”
Unable to shake the vision of Darach sleeping out in the brutal elements, Tess inflated the mattress, placed it beside Emily’s then came back for her sleeping bag and pillow. “You said you slept on the ground regularly, yet you have no camping equipment? Not even so much as a blanket?”
“My plaid serves me well. ’Tis enough.”
“What do you eat?”
The question seemed to surprise him. He shifted uneasily, and at length, shrugged. “Whatever the day presents.”
Clearly a lie. Why? Had he lied about other things, as well? It took all her willpower to keep her lips sealed and not press him further. If she didn’t know without a doubt, he truly cared for Emily and her safety, she’d…what? She didn’t want to think about it. Instead, she tamped down her disappointment and turned away. He’d be gone tomorrow anyway, and she wouldn’t deny Emily a chance to say goodbye, by making a fuss tonight.
Her stomach churned and she swallowed hard over the piercing, empty ache in her chest. Moments ago, she’d lost herself in his arms. Found something in him she’d never thought to find. Despite herself, she’d…hoped.
What a fool.
Limp with a depth of sadness that stunned her, and so weary she could barely stand, she pointed at a folded blanket. “Take that. The floor is cold. Help yourself to whatever you can find to eat. I’m going to bed.”
“Tessa.” He said it so quietly, so apologetically, it was hard not to fling herself into his arms and let him lie to her again. Tell her anything to chase away the emptiness inside her, if only for another moment or two. Just when she thought she’d emerged from the devastation of loss, here was another layer, and she feared this time it would suffocate her.
* * *
Darach shiftedfor what seemed the hundredth time on the hard floor, almost wishing he were back in his sleeping hollow.Almost.
Through the broad window he’d watched in desperation as the moon progressed across the sky, casting slivers of wavering silver through the tree branches. ’Twas like a heavenly hourglass, ticking away his mortality.
