Or to his friends’ ailing mither. He hadna brought her sons back to her, as promised. Instead, he’d coaxed them to their deaths and watched them spill their blood onto the muddy moor—gasping their shock, lost hopes and last breaths, as snow and their fellow warriors fell steadily around them.
As the light faded from their eyes, the searing, gut-wrenching pain of a musket ball had torn through Darach’s chest, throwing him back, away from them, denying him the opportunity to die beside them.
His brothers. No’ by birth, but by choice.
They trusted me, and I betrayed them.
He’d had nearly three centuries to consider a proper atonement for leading two innocents to their deaths and leaving two grieving widows childless and alone in a time when Jacobite families paid the price for the sins of their husbands, sons and fathers.
He’d found only one answer in all that time. He deserved the worst punishment Hell had to offer. And even then, he dinnae ken it would be enough.
Tessa and Emily’s voices drawing nearer, pulled Darach out of the past and back to the strange place Soncerae had sent him.The right circumstances are already in play,she’d said.What could she have meant? There was no one to save and naught to save them from. How then, was he to accomplish an act of heroism in order to get on with the penance he deserved?
Surely, the warming up of two lassies foolish enough to think this rotting manor could be a proper home, wouldnae win him a boon.
How hard must a man work to go to Hell?He hadna considered the process to be so complicated.
Could he no’ work for his prize somewhere else? He dinnae wish to stay here! No’ where a child could steal the heart out of a man before he could blink. And Tessa… Och! Such a bonnie lass, with a heavier burden than was right for her to bear. ’Twas a vulnerability beneath her boldness that made him want to shelter her inside his embrace and protect her. Though he couldnae ken from what.
He dinnae want to care about them. He dinnae want to care about anyone, or anything, ever again. And no one should care about him. His judgment was flawed. It had been tested with disastrous results. Soncerae should ken that.
“Ye misjudged my usefulness here, Soncerae,” Darach growled into the empty room. Surely, she’d realize her mistake and come get him. ’Twas no point in prolonging his ultimate destination.
A sudden down-draft, strong enough to blow sparks and cinders onto the wooden floor from the fireplace, startled him. He rushed to scoop them back into the hearth before they caught hold on the dry, aged floor and set the place ablaze.
Odd, he thought, scraping them back into the flames. The chimney had been drawing very well. No smoke or downdrafts, until now. ’Twould surely need more careful attention. Especially if Tessa and Emily actually decided to stay here tonight.
If so, mayhap he’d best stay to keep watch over them, for the night at least. If Soni had no’ come for him by morning, he’d leave on his own and seek out whatever lay in store for him. Anything, anywhere, as long as he dinnae have to care.
Sounds of laughter preceded Tessa and Emily into the room, and Darach smiled despite himself.
“It feels wonderful in here,” Tess said, closing the door behind them before rubbing her hands together. “We’re both freezing. I don’t know why, but the farther we ventured into the house, the colder it became. Maybe there’s a broken window or something, letting in a draft.”
She escorted Emily to the fire and stayed beside her, turning her every few minutes like a roasting hare.
“I’m warm enough, Aunt Tess,” Emily finally objected. “Can we have the hot chocolate now?”
“Yes, let’s.” Tess pulled off her gloves and tucked them into her pocket. “Maybe if we warm up our insides, the shivers will stop.”
While Emily dug through their belongings, Darach grabbed a blanket and draped it over Tessa’s shoulders. “This will help ’till ye’re warmed through.”
Moments later, realizing he stood far too close, and had actually begun rubbing her shoulders, he jerked back and bent to put some coal on the fire.
Heat warmed his neck and cheeks. From the fire, surely. He just needed to move away, find some cooler air and a little space.
And mayhap, a wee bit of indifference.
