The tenseness between them last night, came back to her. For a moment, she’d thought he would kiss her. She’d wanted him to. She’d have kissed him back, despite knowing he’d leave. That hehadto leave. She’d weakened and allowed her emotions to override her common sense. Thankfully Mac had been stronger.
Soncerae’s name floated into her thoughts, almost like a confirmation. Whatever her role, Soncerae represented a part of Mac’s life that Brie didn’t belong in. His time here was nothing more than a brief pause between his past and his future.
“Good morning, tae ye, lass,” he smiled, coming closer. “Did ye sleep well?” His eyes were soft, as they roamed her face.
She looked away, afraid of what he’d find. “You shouldn’t have let me sleep so long,” she grumbled.
Mac caught her arm as she headed for the kitchen. “What is it, Brie?”
She dropped her head, ashamed of her moodiness. “I’m sorry, Mac, I… Good morning,” she echoed then forced herself to take a step back, folding her arms to keep from touching him. “I slept well, thank you. What about you? Did you…,” she looked away searching for a way to soften her question. “Did you have any more insight about who Soncerae might be?” She grimaced at her bluntness, but at least the question that kept her awake most of the night had been voiced.
“Nae,” Mac shook his head, an apprehensive look on his face. “I still dinna ken who she is. But, do ye no’ think if she truly meant something tae me, in apersonalway, that I’d have some sort of…knowing?”
She shrugged, helpless to help him. “I don’t know, Mac.”Please don’t ask me to analyze your past attachments, romantic or otherwise!
“Is it warming up outside?” She hurriedly stepped beyond the door, ashamed of bringing Soncerae’s name up, in the first place. “Hopefully, the sun’s dried the road out enough we can begin cutting apart that tree. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can get you into town.”
Mac followed her out. “Are ye angry wi’ me, lass?” He groaned his frustration. “Ahh, Brie, I’ve tried no’ tae say anything. ’Tis wrong, and makes no sense after only one day, especially since I’ve nothing tae offer or promise, but I’ve come tae care—"
“Please don’t say any more.” She shook her head. “You’re mistaking gratitude for something else, and I’m mistaking compassion for the same thing.” She swallowed and tried not to choke on the lie. “We’re both wrong.”
“Nae!” he stated. “ ’Tis more than that. But I ken yer worries. I admit tae having them, myself. So, I’ll come wi’ ye tae help move the tree, and I’ll go wi’ ye tae the village and search for the answers tae all the questions I canna provide for myself, or for ye.”
He turned her to face him. “But, will ye promise tae hear the answers once I find them?”
“Mac.” She let her eyes drift over his face, wanting to memorize every detail, “You don’t owe me any explanations. Do us both a favor. Once you return to your life and your family, don’t look back.”
His face fell, and something clouded the clear blue of his eyes. “Ye’ll nae give me a chance, then? Even if it turns out that I’m free?”
Take the chance, Brie, her heart cried. But she couldn’t live on the hope Mac’s love might someday circle back to her. She’d waited for her fatherandher ex-fiancé, but never quite made the cut on either of their priority lists. She didn’t have the strength to wait indefinitely, a third time. Especially since, in all probability, Mac would never make it back. Best to avoid the heartache all together.
“I can’t, Mac.” She pulled away before she lost the last of her willpower and went back inside. “I’ll make us some breakfast. And then, assuming you’re still feeling up to it, we can take the 4-wheeler down, check out the road and get started on that tree.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Sweat, and the sun beating through his longshirt, dampened Mac’s back, while the noise and vibration of the chain-saw reverberated in his head. Though ’twas a bit more painful than he’d admitted to Brie when she’d first showed him how to use the saw, ’twas almost a welcome reprieve from his anguished thoughts.
What he saw in Brie’s eyes and what she’d said to him this morning, dinna match. But why? Was she no’ willing to wait until he found the answers to his past, or was he mistaken, and she truly dinna want him, at all?
He prayed that wasna true, but regardless, he couldna build the life he wanted with Brie, without discovering who he was and knowing he wouldna cause harm to another, in the process.
But mayhap he caused harm to Brie by asking her to wait for him to discover his past?
Perplexed by so many questions wi’ out answers, he continued to cut apart the obstruction that kept him in Brie’s world, though ’twas the one he thought he wanted.
He’d worked in a steady rhythm, using Brie’s machine to chew through the trunk and thickest branches of the tree with astonishing ease. ’Twas truly a most marvelous invention! He wished he could show it to Angus and Gregor.
Mac stopped the saw.
Where had that come from?
“Angus.”Mac said out loud, hoping the name would prompt something else.Anythingelse.Why did the name of the highland warrior who’d died with him in his nightmare, keep coming to him? Why think of him now? Here? And who wasGregor?
Mac closed his eyes, hoping to sense something more about either man. He’d already learned ’twas no use trying to force a memory.
Concentrate, Mac. What do ye feel when ye think on Angus?
Several seconds passed and then, so faint he almost missed it…
