He probably should have.Gotten rid of them as soon as they’d been used.Looking at his knife set, he was amazed at how clean it looked.But he’d seen enough shows and been around enough inmates that he knew no matter how clean they looked, the police would find a bit of blood on them that would jack you up for years.And his might well have a lot of little specs of blood from a lot of deaths.
If Shawn were caught again, he’d go in for life.That three-times-and-you’re-done rule wouldn’t even get him a good prison as he’d been in and out of the system five times.He just kept getting caught.But no more.He had rules that he followed, too, and that was keeping him not only under the radar but out of prison, too.He wasn’t going back, even if he had to kill the entire department of men in blue to get away with something.And he’d do it too.There was no way he was going back to prison for life.Lifers in prison were the worst kind of inmates.They’d just as soon kill you as to look at you.What did they have to lose?Nothing.They were already in for their entire life.
Hiding his guns behind the big dresser, he looked around the room for a place to hide his knives.He wasn’t going to put them with his guns because he carried them around with him all the time and needed them to be where he could get to them.There was no telling when he might need one of them to show a pussy what he was made of.And he wanted them on him when he met up with Mac.He might have to give her a few scars to show her what it was like.
Chapter 2
Zeno couldn’t wrap his head around his mother kicking him out of the house.It wasn’t fair that Aaron was the one who had started the trouble with him finding his mate.Well, that’s not true; he’d not been responsible for his feelings on finding a mate.He’d had them for a while now, and he’d been keeping it to himself so that he’d not have the trouble that he was having now.He knew that they’d be pissed off.Just not as bad as he was having now.
Going back to the condo, he was ready to call it a day when his dad called.He knew that Mom would run to him about how he’d disrespected her.Not that he didn’t deserve whatever his dad gave him.He hurt for hurting his mom and making her cry.But it was unfair of them to think that he needed to be on the same page as the rest of them were.
“What do you have to say for yourself?”He said he was sorry.“You’re telling the wrong person that.I want to know what you said that made your mother cry.And she was still upset when she called me to tell me that she slapped you.If I had been there, you can bet your sweet ass it would have been much more than that.”
“I’m sorry.I told Mom I was sorry too, but I can’t let you guys run my life about this mate business.”He said that he didn’t care, but he should have chosen his words better.“You’re right, I should have just kept my mouth shut on all of it.”
“If that’s the way you feel, then you have every right to feel that way.Don’t go projecting onto others your opinions and anger when they don’t agree with you.That’s not the way we do things in our family.”Had he done that?He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to get into a fight with his dad.He had too much respect for him to do that.He should have had that much for his mom, too, but she’d hit him, and that wasn’t right either.
They talked for another hour, with him listening mostly to his dad telling him what he needed to do before the grandparents found out.Grandda would be really upset, as he’d had his heart set on all of them making him a great grandda.If the others did it, then he’d be all right.He wondered if any of his brothers felt the same way he did about finding a mate.
It took him three hours to calm down enough that he was feeling better.He was going to have to talk to Aaron, too, he knew.And Mac.He wasn’t looking forward to talking to either one of them, but he had to in order to make his dad and mom not be as upset with him anymore.He was more concerned with his parents being upset with him than he was his brother at this point.Aaron could be avoided until things settled down.He couldn’t do anything that would make his parents hate him; they’d told him that all his life, but they could be disappointed in him, and he thought that hurt more.He’d never disappointed either of them in his entire life.
At midnight, he was headed to bed.He felt like shit, but he knew that he needed to sleep before he went to work in the morning.That was when he was planning on speaking to Aaron.He didn’t want to, but knew that he’d have to talk to him sooner rather than later.He just hoped that they wouldn’t come to blows.Aaron and himself were the most stubborn of the lot of them, and he knew that for a fact.
Getting up in the morning had been hard.He’d done a lot of soul searching while in bed, and he didn’t think that he’d slept all that much.Now here he was on his way to work, and he just didn’t have it in him to be apologetic.But he was going to try his damnest to make Aaron see things his way.He didn’t have to agree with him, but he did want his idea on mates and marriage to be something that he acknowledged.
“Mom is still upset.”He told his older brother that he was going to make it up to her.“I hope so.It’s all right if you’re mad at me.But she’s Mom and doesn’t deserve to be caught in the middle ofthings.”
“No, you’re right.I don’t want you to be upset with me either, but you have to know that I didn’t come to my decision easily.It’s just something that I want.”He nodded but didn’t say anything.“Are you going to be mad at me for a while?I hope not.I love you.”
“I love you too.”He looked around the office, and Aaron asked him to come outside.He wanted to ask him if he was going to hurt him, but decided that, as a joke, it wouldn’t go over all that well.“Let’s not bring up our disagreement at work.I don’t want anyone else knowing our business because it’s none of their business.”
“I agree.But I do want to talk to you.I never meant for us to—well, perhaps I did want to fight with you, but now I’m sorry.”He told him it was all right.“No, it’s not if you’re going to be upset with me.And Mac.I really do love her, but what you two have I don’t want.I don’t want to be hanging onto one woman for the rest of my life.”
“I know.”Aaron didn’t say anything when a couple of officers went into the building, passing right by them.“We’ll just agree to disagree, and that’ll be the end of it.If you ever find yourself with a woman who is your mate, come to me.I won’t steer you wrong just because I don’t agree with what you’re saying.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed your buttons when I was talking to you.I think I wanted you to fight me so that I could be right.”He asked him what he thought he was right about.“I don’t know.Women.I really do love all women, and the thought of being with just one is more than I want to admit right now.I don’t think I’m going to change my mind about them either.I just can’t see myself with one woman all the time.It’s just not in me.”
“All right.Like I said, we’ll agree to disagree.You live that part of your life the way that you want, and I’ll be in love with the greatest woman in the world.”He smiled, and it looked sort of sappy on him.However, he didn’t say anything, and that was good.They were talking, and that was more than he had this morning when he’d left the house.“Are you going to be over for dinner tomorrow night?Mom was planning a big meal that she said we’d all enjoy.”
“I enjoy every meal that she makes.How will this one be any different?”He said he didn’t know, but that was what she said.“Perhaps the grandparents can come over.They’ve not been to a Saturday night meal in a long time.”
There was still tension between them, but they were working through it.He hoped in time they’d go back to being brothers like they’d been before, but it wasn’t going to happen overnight.Aaron would have to see that he knew what he wanted and was going to get it.There would be no single woman in his life if he could help it.And he was going to try his damnest to not let one interfere in his life.He liked it just the way it was, where he was free to go as he pleased when he wished.
He went out on two calls before lunch, which had him doing more paperwork.That was the only part of his job that he didn’t like, and that was something that he was going to have to get over.Filing paperwork was the worst part of it, but he’d have to get used to it if he wanted to become a detective like his brother.He didn’t care if he became an FBI agent; he just wanted to be able to go out on calls like Aaron did sometimes.
After lunch, it was his turn to drive the cruiser between the schools.The high school would let out first, and that would be about two-fifteen.After that, the middle and grade school kids would be getting out, and that was when he had to be on his toes.The little ones sometimes forgot to look both ways when crossing the street, and he was at the crosswalk when they left.Most of the kids in town would have to walk to school.If they were within so many miles of the school, he thought that was good.But to have the little kids spread out all over town could be nerve-wracking.
Getting back to the stationhouse when his shift was over, he was ready for home.His not sleeping well last night was taking its toll on him; he just wanted to go to bed and not wake up until tomorrow.But duty called, and he was on call for the rest of the evening with one of the second shift people, and that wasn’t so bad.He’d have to stay alert and not have a beer with his pizza.Not that he usually did, but he thought that he’d sleep better if he had a couple of sips of one.
Getting home with his pie, he sat down on the couch and had two slices before he changed out of his uniform.They’d been okayed to wear jeans with their shirts, and he was good with that.He could understand why Aaron was upset about the jogging pants.They were crappy-looking and didn’t look as professional as the jeans did.He would have to tell Aaron he did a good thing about that, too.His brother was usually right.
After getting into his comfortable clothing, he sat down to the rest of his dinner.He could usually polish off an entire pizza by himself, but he was tired tonight and didn’t have it in him to eat that much.Getting a shower after his dinner, he was ready for bed at seven-thirty and knew on some level that if he went to bed now, he’d never be able to sleep until morning.Then he’d be in the wrong cycle of things with work.Sometimes he hated not being able to sleep when things were weighing on his mind.
Turning on the television, he was glad to see that there were some ball games on.He didn’t particularly care for baseball, but he’d watch it if there was nothing else on.When he realized that he’d not been paying attention, he finally went to bed.At nine-thirty, not only was he about asleep, but he also thought that he could sleep until morning and feel much better about his day.
When his alarm went off at seven, he was up and ready to go.He’d not realized how much he needed to sleep and to rest as he’d done last night.Feeling really good about himself, he not only ironed his shirt because he had time, but he also did a load of laundry so that he’d have clean clothing over the weekend.
Running the vacuum before he went into work, he was wondering how long it had been since he’d done that.And knew that it had to have been about a couple of weeks.He wasn’t a slob or anything, but he did let the dusting go until it was really obvious that he’d not done it in a while.
