When she went to play with the toys, other kids joined her.She kept a close eye on her daughter because she didn’t know what to think about how people just let their kids roam.Anna wasn’t like that.If she were to lose her daughter, then there would be nothing left for her to live for.She looked at Zeno.
“I’d like to talk to you about something.I’m not going to be in Dresden after next week, so you don’t have to see us anymore.I won’t be in the grocery store or anywhere else in town.I just have to pick up Harri, and that shouldn’t be a problem since it wasn’t before.”He said that he wanted to talk to her as well.“You don’t have to say you’re sorry anymore.I get it.Your family has beaten you up about how you treated us, and you came to make amends so they’d not be mad at you.Well, I don’t want to have anything to do with you either, so we’re even on that.We were doing just fine before you came into our lives, and I’m sure we’ll do just fine afterwards.”
“I want there to be an afterwards.”She didn’t know what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything.“Yes, you’re right.My family did beat me up over this thing between us.And my grandma is very disappointed in me.All those things have a lot to do with me trying to say I’m sorry.But the real reason is that I didn’t much like myself when I was treating you like shit.”He looked frustrated again, and she found herself looking at her daughter.She had a calming effect on her.“Look.Let me start over.I think you might understand what I was saying better if I start where I first started thinking that I didn’t want a mate.”
“All right.But this doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to be out of your life soon.”He said he didn’t want that.“I think we’d be better off not seeing each other.I’m not seeing anyone, and I like it that way.It’s just me and Harri.”
“Why is her name Harri?”She asked him what he meant.“Harri?Is it short for Henreitta?Or something like that?”
“No.She’s named for her father.Harry Gibson.He killed himself just after we were married.He said it was too much for him to be an adult.He was twenty-two, I was eighteen.We’d been dating for about three years by then, and I thought that he was fine with getting married.He asked me, I didn’t force him into anything.”He said that he didn’t think she had.“His parents believed that I was forcing his hand.I don’t know where they came up with that idea.I wanted to wait to get married, but Harry insisted.So just after I graduated from high school, the two of us wed.Three months later, he was dead by his own hand.I had Harri eight months later.”
“I’m sorry.That must have been hard.”She said that it was, but since she got her daughter things were all right.“Did he leave you a note?”
“Yes.He said that he thought that he could get out of his parents’ home and have one of his own.But it was too hard to have a house and a job, too.I never understood his meaning by that.His parents had purchased us the home and everything in it.We hadn’t had any bills to speak of, we’d only been married those few months.It wasn’t until after I’d had Harri that I realized that he wasn’t very mature for a twenty something year old man.And his parents ruled him pretty hard.I think that’s why he wanted to get out on his own.To be honest, I don’t think it would have lasted between us.I was too young to be the adult in the relationship, and he was too young to be the adult.”
Harri came back with one of the toys, and she told her that they had to stay with the others.She wanted to purchase it for herself, and Anna looked at the price tag and then showed it to Harri.
“It’s one of those toys they put out so that parents will have to buy it for whiney kids.Are you going to be a whiney kid?”Harri looked torn, but she said that she wasn’t going to be whiney.“I’m very proud of you.If you can find something that you can put in your room that will remind you of this day, that would be good.Otherwise, I’m not paying sixty dollars for a stuffed animal.”When she went back to the toys, Zeno looked at her.
“I would have bought it just to see the smile on her face.”She said she wasn’t going to raise a child who thought that whinnying was the only way to get something that otherwise would be off limits.“You’re very good at being a parent.I would have brought it all for her and been tapped out at the end of the day.”
“She knows that we’re on a budget.We don’t buy unless it’s necessary or a treat.I try very hard not to allow her too many of those, or they’re no longer a treat.”He said that he understood.“Thank you.You said you wanted to talk to me.About what?I’ve made it clear that you don’t have to worryabout us interrupting your life anymore.”
“I’ve thought about having a mate since I was fifteen.And even back then, I knew that she’d be taking over my life.Not in a good way, but just making sure that I’d be right there with her all the time.”He watched Harri play with the other kids.“I especially didn’t want to have children because I knew that was going to be one more nail in my coffin for being the man that I thought I wanted to be.”
“A playboy.”He grinned and told her that was it exactly.“I don’t see you as a playboy.You seem to have life just where you want it, and it might not necessarily mean you have women around all the time.”
“I thought that was the only other option open for me.I was either going to be a playboy, as you said, or a man who was married to one woman and never allowed to see anything else.I had it in my head that I was going to be shackled down with you all the time, and I’d not get to do the things that I wanted to do.Now all I can think about is all the things that I get to see through you and Harri’s eyes.”She said they weren’t going to be mates.“I’d like for us to be.I’d like to start over with you and Harri and become the man that I really and truly am.Not this bastard that made the two of you cry for no other reason than I thought you’d be in the way of me getting things done.I don’t know where that thought came from.”
“If all you’re doing this for is to appease your family, then I’d rather not have anything to do with you.I’ve had one mama’s boy in my life, and I don’t need another.He wasn’t a good man now that I’m older and can appreciate what we had.He wanted a way out, and I was there for that to happen.I’m not going to be your excuse for you to still be good with your family.”He said that he could understand that.He didn’t want that either.“Then what do you want?In the event you didn’t notice, Harri and I are getting along just fine without you in our lives, and we’ll continue to go on without you if you treat us the way you did.”
“Are you saying that you’ll give me a chance to try and make it up to you?”She said that she didn’t know what she was saying right now.“I’ll take that.I promise you.You won’t have another problem with me so long as you live.And I promise that if we ever have children, I’ll never treat Harri like anything but my own child if you’ll allow me to.”
She thought about what he was saying and didn’t say.He was getting pressure from his family, but he also seemed like he wanted to change.So long as he could not hurt Harri, she knew that she could handle him for the next week.After that, it wouldn’t matter anymore because she’d be on her own turf and wouldn’t have to be around him anymore.
“You have a week to get your act together.”He thanked her.“No need for that.If by the end of one week we aren’t madly in love, then we’ll go our separate ways.Just don’t hurt my daughter.Her tears tear me up inside.”
“I promise to do everything in my power to make neither one of you cry or be upset with me.And to make you both fall in love with me soon.”She thought that was a weird way to say it, but didn’t comment.So long as he knew he would get his walking papers if he did anything, then she thought she could give him a chance.
Chapter 6
They had such a wonderful time at the conservatory that he didn’t want the day to end.There was a point when Harri started acting out, but Anna pulled her into her arms, and she fell asleep.After about half an hour, she was awake and enjoying herself again.That was when Anna said that they’d have to leave soon because Harri needed to have her dinner.
He didn’t mind that he was being shackled down by not just one but two women when he thought about it.And when they ended up getting fried chicken at a chicken place so that Harri could have strips, he enjoyed his dinner alongside Anna and laughed until he thought he might hurt from it.He’d had the most fun all day and wasn’t looking forward to going home to his own little condo and missing out on bedtime for the little girl.
“We had fun.And thank you for not buying her everything in the store.That would have been hard to explain to her that she couldn’t take it all home.”He said he thought that he’d done fairly well in only buying the butterfly stickers.“Yes.I know you wanted to buy her the backpack too, but she wouldn’t be able to wear it at school, and that would have been a waste of money for her.She doesn’t care that she doesn’t need everything so long as you break it down to her level of thinking.”
“I’ll have to remember that for next time.”He was at her house, and he was surprised to know that it was only a rental for her.The for-sale sign out front had her worried, she told him, as she didn’t know if the people who bought it would want it as their home or a rental.“I can imagine that would be hard, renting a whole house.I’ll have to be more careful in the future for when I buy houses to make sure that the renter will be taken care of when I’m done.”
“You have money.”It wasn’t a question, but he told her that he did.“We have a little saved up, but not enough to buy a house.It’s going to be hard for a couple of months to get used to paying a car payment, but we’ll be fine after that.I’ll just have to pick up some more time at the post office.”He started to say that he could help, but caught himself in time.
That he knew would piss her off, and he didn’t want to ruin a perfect day with her and Harri by being himself again.Instead, he decided that if she needed anything from him, he’d wait for her to ask.She had a good job and a good head on her shoulders, so he wasn’t worried about her having a financial crisis right now.But he would help her if she asked.He really didn’t think that she would, though.
After following her home to make sure they got there all right, he headed to his own home.He’d not used his cell phone all day, only to take pictures, and thought that he’d enjoy looking at them later tonight.His mom had messaged him once to ask him how things were going and then later that evening to tell him that she loved him.It was an end to a perfect day, he thought, and he couldn’t wait until he got to see Anna and Harri again.He called his mom to tell her what they’d done all day.
“I have some pictures of Harri for you, too.”He sent them while he was talking to her.“She’s beautiful and so smart.I think she has a better vocabulary than most four-year-olds because her mother talks to her like she’s an adult.She’s not afraid to bust her on her bottom, too, when she gets a little lippy.I wanted to defend her, but I’m staying out of that for now.”
“Good.You don’t want to step on her toes since she’s been on her own for so long.”He said that they work well together.Then he told her about how Harri had gotten her name.“Oh, that poor girl.To have to raise up a child when she was no more a child herself.That’s so sad about her husband, too.I wonder if she found him or not.That could be why she distrusts so much.”
