‘Good stuff. I’ll make you some eggs. Then maybe we can talk about what you want to do today?’
Carli’s hesitancy must have been obvious because Niall added, ‘What I mean is, if you’d like me to leave you, not what we are doing together. Sorry, that wasn’t clear.’
‘Ah, right.’
They sat and ate eggs on toast, neither of them saying a word. Carli sensed Niall stealing glances at her from time to time. The loch was a comforting place to distract herself, the water placid in the gentle morning sunshine.
Oh, Mum, what do I do here? I have such strong feelings for him, but I’m terrified of getting hurt again.
Something told her just to follow her gut and go with her heart.
‘Thanks for the eggs,’ she said when she’d devoured the breakfast. ‘They were delicious.’
‘It’s not too hard to get eggs right, is it?’ Niall reached for her plate.
‘You’d be amazed how some people can fuck up simple things.’
Niall froze, plate in mid-air, and it took her a second to realise what she’d said.
’Sorry. I was talking about the eggs. Genuinely.’
‘No bother. I’ll wash these up while you get showered.’
Carli got up and brushed crumbs off her thighs, wishing she could brush away herwords as easily. There were echoes in Niall’s expression of that uncertain boy who was never sure if what the teacher was going to say to him would be good or bad. And now she understood what her part was here.
‘Niall, listen…’
He stopped in his tracks, paying such attention that it unnerved her slightly. She wasn’t used to this captive an audience.
‘I’ve been hanging onto hurt for seventeen years,’ she said. ‘So much hurt, it has possibly…’ She was about to say made me physically sick, but that was not a discussion she wanted to have. ‘…Look, today can we hang out, have a nice day, maybe make some good memories and have some fun as Niall and Carli again?’
Niall breathed out so heavily that it was as if he’d been holding his breath since they’d broken up. ‘Really? I’d love to do that.’
‘Okay, good.’ Carli moved towards the tents to get her things for a shower. Start afresh for a new day, a new chapter.
‘Cass?’
Turning back, she was struck by the lines on Niall’s face and how tired and broken he appeared today.
‘Thank you,’ he said.
She lifted her lips into a gentle smile. ’No bother, Butler.’
‘I’ve not seen this place in two years,’ Niall said as they swung into the car park of his brother Nate’s animal sanctuary. ‘Back then, he was just starting out, giving up being a vet in the village and branching out on his own. It’s changed so much. That bit there’ – Niall pointed to the largestbuilding – ‘was an old farmhouse, and he’s converted all the outbuildings to animal housing units.’
Walking towards the main building, they saw deer grazing behind a perimeter fence. As they walked over to the fence, some of the deer paid no heed to their visitors; a few others watched from a distance with soft, searching eyes.
‘Look at them,’ said Niall. ‘Is there a more beautiful animal? And they’ve all been nursed back to health here after some kind of accident or other.’
‘That makes them even more exquisite,’ said Carli. ‘Poor things. They’re too innocent for this world; it’s hard to imagine them being hurt.’
‘Aye, it’s sad, but with Nate’s centre there is a chance for them.’
Carli remembered a little of Nate from the old days and Niall had chatted enthusiastically about him in the car on the way to the sanctuary. The youngest male of the Butler siblings, and triplet brother to Eilidh and Cara, he had been a quiet child. That same trait shaped his adult existence as he eschewed large crowds or big friendship groups for a few beers with close friends and family and nights at home with his dogs and cats. Like his siblings, Nate was a keen surfer and appreciated nature. And he was passionate about wildlife and caring for animals. Growing up, the family dog, a cocker spaniel called Mulligan, had always favoured Nate, and they had joked that his best mate was a dog, to which Nate’s reply had been: ‘And what’s wrong with that?’
Nate was not only great with animals, he was skilled at winning people over and fighting for his cause, and nowhere was it more evident than in the burgeoning success of this animal shelter. He’d received various grants to help himdevelop the place, preferring not to rely on financial aid from their father.
One thing Carli noticed about Nate was his diplomacy. At no point, as they walked through the building, did he ask what was going on with the two of them or make jokes. Sean or his sisters might have done this, but it wasn’t Nate’s style. Possibly, he knew that all news would be delivered by the aforementioned siblings, or he could wait until the time was right.
