‘I did sometimes feel that growing up, though. Still do, on occasion. You, Cal and Jamie have this thing that ties you together and so do Cara, Eilidh and Nate. I’m the outlier. But I try to focus on the things that connect us and there’s so much to focus on.’
‘Okay, mind blown.’ Niall wasn’t lying. For Sean to admit this was extraordinary.
‘Aye, because I never tell anyone. But I’m telling you now because you need to hear it. Get off this ghost train you’re on and remember who you are. You’re a Butler. You’ve the same blood running through your veins as the rest of us. Why are your mistakes so much worse than anyone else’s?’
Niall had no answer to this. Maybe they seemed thatway because it was his own head he was inside and not anyone else’s.
‘As for Carli.’ Sean eyed up an incipient wave, nodding to Niall to get it. ‘Use the past for good. Flirt with her, for fuck’s sake. Enjoy seeing her again. Stop being so miserable about it all. You guys used to laugh all the time. Maybe she’ll remember why she liked you in the first place, then you can tell her about “the incident” and it will all be fine in the end. Except if you move back here, of course.’
Niall turned his board, ready to paddle for the wave that was coming. Sean’s unconventional surfboard therapy session was perhaps a rather accelerated way of dealing with things, but something about it gave Niall a boost to get through today, to start with this wave that his brother had given him, ride it to the shore and hopefully catch some more. And that was somewhere to start.
Chapter 12
Carli
Somewhere through the sea sprayed mists of time, Carli remembered Niall teaching her about surfing. She’d stood on this beach listening to him rhapsodise about currents and rips and swell and catching her smiling at him.
What?
Nothing. Just enjoying the view.
And what have you learned about surfing?
Um…nothing.
Right, that’s it. You’re going to learn on the job.
He’d taken her out on his board and even got her standing up and catching some waves in the end. It was a lot of fun, and they’d surfed together a lot after that. But Melbourne was over an hour’s drive from a surf beach and Carli had no way of getting there, so her skills had rusted. And now, with the Fibro, it would be too difficult, so while Cara and Eilidh caught some waves that morning, Carli did a yoga warm-up and some boogie boarding.
The plan was to go to Jamie’s seafront house afterwards for a shower and lunch, but when they got back to the carthere was a text from Jamie saying that he’d been called into work, and Alicia was out with friends. He said he’d leave the door open, as most folk in the village did, but Cara and Eilidh lost interest when they found out Jamie wouldn’t be there.
‘Och, what’s the point if there’s no brother to annoy?’ Cara said. ‘Let’s go to Sean’s instead. He’ll make us a slap-up lunch.’
And right enough, Sean welcomed them into his home and said he would make them coffees and hot chocolates.
‘Carli, you take a shower first,’ Eilidh suggested. ‘We’ll have a hot drink ready for you when you come down. Sean… directions please, and a towel for Carli.’
‘Right you are. Take a right when you get upstairs and the bathroom’s at the end,’ said Sean. ‘There’s a towel in the cupboard on the left before you go in there. Grab any one.’
‘Where’s Niall?’ asked Cara, looking around. ‘Isn’t he staying here?’
‘He’s having a shower in the en-suite in my room, so you’re good to go. No awkward moments in the hall for you.’
This reminded Carli of one particular moment in the hall at the Butler home so many years ago. She’d been visiting Eilidh and Cara, rather than Niall, and was on her way to the bathroom. As she reached out for the handle, the door opened and Niall emerged from a cloud of steam with only a giant white bath towel round his waist, chaotic damp hair, chest dripping wet and gleaming with steam. He threw her a knowing smile, in that way he did – as if he had all the confidence in the world, even though that was far from the truth – and she nearly melted into the carpet. Carli would have happily melted into Niall. They were already deepinto their relationship by then, kisses a plenty, some under clothes action.
‘Hey,’ he said.
‘Hey.’ Carli slowed, drinking him in.
‘You look nice,’ he said. ‘You off somewhere?’
‘Um… in there. Then back to Eilidh’s room.’
‘Right.’ Niall cocked his head to the side. ‘You’re so pretty, Cass.’
‘Well, so are you, Butler.’
Niall glanced up and down the corridor before turning back to her. ‘Come here,’ he beckoned her back into the bathroom with his index finger.
