‘We all make mistakes when it comes to men. I did before I met Luc.’
‘Maybe, but you didn’t have your big brother warning you off with prior experience. I was an idiot.’ Lucas’s words of caution rang in Alicia’s memory, as did her own flimsy dismissal. She’d defended Chad as ‘fun’ and challenged the suggestion that a quiet day snorkelling at his private island or a picnic in his giant treehouse was him using her to get back at Lucas. Also, Chad had been nothing but encouraging to Alicia about reviving her acting career, which he’d convinced her was magnanimous of him. The truth was, if she’d wanted to revive her acting career, being a Donoghue would have been enough, but Chad had been the instigator, so he got the kudos. And although she was far more interested in art, the money was useful as Clark Donoghue held fast to his belief that his children would work for their own income rather than being handed down the family riches.
‘Nobody thinks it’s your fault, Alicia. Nobody.’ Ada prodded her endive. ‘Having your drink spiked by a vindictive douche canoe because you called him in for drunk driving is not you in the wrong.’
Ada was circling in closer to things that Alicia didn’t want to talk about once, never mind twice, in a day. The memories were seared onto Alicia’s brain: the week before the Villa Celeste incident, Chad, sporting nostrils dusted with cocaine, drinking at her place. An argument triggered by a scuff on his new shoe and him driving off into the night, countless sheets to the wind. Alicia calling the police. Then the next day the story being all over the news and Chad being incandescent at Alicia. She stood by what she had done. After all, things might have turned out far worse if he hadn’t been stopped by the police. But a week later, she’d paid the price for her ethics.
‘I know, it’s not my fault.’ Alicia believed this to be true, but that didn’t stop shame from eating at her. Every timeshe caught a man’s eye, she wondered if he was thinking about the swimming pool video. Or worse, imagining her naked in the seductive pose of the now-public photos.
‘I only say this because to some extent I can empathise,’ Ada’s voice was still the soundtrack to Alicia’s lunch. ‘Chad has this way of making you feel like the centre of his world but also like you are responsible for all his problems, and all your own problems too. I never want to go back there, and you’re in the middle of it and I don’t want you to be hurting. We’re family, Alicia. Practically sisters. Lucas, Connor and Jack would draw blood for you, and I…well, I don’t condone violence, but if I can do anything to support you then offering my own experience is the most valuable thing I can give.’
‘Thank you.’ Alicia spoke quietly. ‘I appreciate your support, but I’d rather make today about Connor, if you don’t mind, honey.’ Ada meant well but Alicia wasn’t ready for this level of intimacy with her sister-in-law, and not in a public place.
‘Okay, I understand.’ Ada smiled warmly. ‘Call me anytime. We can lunch, spa, walk on the beach. Oh, and here…’ She handed Alicia a card with a therapist’s details on it. Alicia slotted it alongside the rehab card from her agent, although she had no intention of using either. How could she talk to a therapist? She wasn’t even ready to be at this restaurant. Communicating normally with her brothers and father was difficult. She couldn’t bear it if they had seen the pictures, but there was no way on this green earth that she would ask them to confirm either way.
As lunch continued, Connor, Jack and Lucas shared stories about directors they’d worked with. Their father joined intoo. Then there was the usual talk about doing a movie with the whole family in it, mooted about a million times previous. It would never happen unless one of them wrote the script themselves. What did sound like it might be happening, however, and what terrified Alicia the most, was the possibility of a Donoghue family fly-on-the-wall documentary. Alicia’s brothers and parents were excited at a chance to talk about the family history and show how much of a tight unit they were. Alicia had previously agreed it could be fun, but as they mentioned meetings with streaming companies, it was as if water were rising up to her nose. No way could she be part of that documentary, unless they filmed her hiding under her bedcovers or inside her closet, because those were the places she most wanted to be.
‘So, Leesh, what’s next on the agenda?’ Lucas must have sensed his sister was on the outskirts of the conversation. ‘You still doing that movie with Zetberger?’
‘Uh-uh.’ Alicia shook her head. ‘I pulled out. It wasn’t the right project. I’m thinking of taking a vacation.’ Up until this moment, she hadn’t been thinking that at all, but now the prospect of getting away popped up, it appealed immensely. She could go somewhere cold; LA was still temperate at this time of year, and it felt oppressive. A trip to her grandmother in Norway was Alicia’s first thought. But so ashamed was she that even facing her septuagenarian bestemor filled her with dread. Alaska? It was cold and remote, but not far enough away. Did Australia have cold parts at this time of year?
Alicia glanced over at Connor, flashing his new Cairngorm cufflinks and rhapsodising about Scotch whisky in the style of his character, Murdo Galbraith. Being transported into that Scottish world did something magical to him. Hehad lost himself in research and was now so obsessed with Murdo that he lived and breathed him.
‘You’re welcome to stay at the lodge in Lake Como,’ Lucas offered. ‘I can ask Sandro and Marguerite to drop in on you.’
Warmth swirled in Alicia’s core, but not at her brother’s suggestion, lovely as it would be to have the most famous A-list couple in Hollywood take her under their wing, but at a possibly perfect idea that had flown into her mind. ‘Thanks, Luc,’ she said, ‘Italy sounds wonderful but I’m thinking I might go to Scotland.’
Alicia left the restaurant as early as she politely could. Connor was in his element, but he wanted to party through the night, and Alicia needed to drive over to see her friend Sunni.
‘I’m going on vacation,’ Alicia said excitedly, as she strode through to the lounge of Sunni’s Silver Lake home.
‘You are? That’s awesome. Where?’
‘Scotland.’
‘Oh, that will be beautiful. But freezing, no?’
‘Yep. It’s perfect. Even sixty degrees feels like LA is closing in on me. Scotland is far away but it’s not a killer flight and it’s got remote parts where I can find peace and quiet.’
Sunni’s eyes widened and Alicia knew she’d alarmed her psychotherapist friend.
‘Please don’t worry about me, Sun.’
‘But I do. You’ve been through some heavy stuff recently.’
‘Honestly, turn off your shrink-switch and hang with your bestie who is excited about her vacation.’ Realistically,this wasn’t entirely possible. Understanding human behaviour was woven into Sunni’s character. She was an excellent therapist increasingly in demand with the rich and famous. Plus, she was a wonderful friend.
‘I’ll do my best, as long as you’re sure you’re not running away.’
Alicia rolled her shoulders. ‘Can you blame me if I want to? This whole thing has been hell.’
‘I know, honey. It will blow over, though. Remember the Vanessa Cole scandal: she got through it and so can you. You’re stronger than you think.’
‘Thanks, Sun, but Hollywood needs Vanessa Cole as much as she needs Hollywood. She’s a highly bankable golden girl.’
‘Well, you’re my golden girl.’ Sunni put her arm Around Alicia’s shoulder and squeezed her close.
Alicia chuckled a little and squeezed back. ‘Aaw. And you’re mine.’
