‘How about you?’ Jamie asked. ‘What do you want?’
It was easy asking the question, but answering it was a different ballgame. Alicia deflected. ‘Well, first I want to finish this painting of you and makeit the best it can be.’
‘I’m sure it will be.’ Jamie didn’t push but he must sense her playing the avoidance game. He would also know that unless he filled the silence, she would have to answer. It was weird because she hadn’t considered in such a long time what it was that she wanted from life. She’d gone back into acting because of Chad persuading her. And since life had come crashing down, she’d been operating in emergency mode to get through each day.
‘The truth is,’ Alicia admitted, ‘I’m not sure how to answer that question. I’ve been a little lost for some time and I came on this break to work out what I want.’ That was putting it mildly, but a good way of describing things without describing things. ‘But I will try.’She cast her eyes across the artwork in front of her, let herself be aware of the comforting feel of the paintbrush, the crackling, woody fire that was burning across the room and the snow still falling in her peripheral vision like a white throw that shielded her from the world. This was perfect. And this man, like some kind of topless Scottish cowboy, made it even more so. ‘I think,’ she concluded, ‘that all I want is to be able to be the most authentic version of myself and be understood accepted and respected for that. If that doesn’t sound too pretentious, which it probably does.’ She blinked back salt water.Shit.
‘Hey, no it doesn’t, not at all?’ Jamie sat up on the edge of the couch, triceps flexing reassuringly as he pushed himself up. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m good. Sorry. I’ve been on a bit of a journey to recognising what it is that I want. I guess I shouldn’t ask awkward questions that I can’t answer myself.’
‘Ha, well, it’s fun finding out about whatever you want to tell me. Although I’m still curious about your favourite colour, sandwich fillingand star sign.’
Thank goodness Jamie had lightened the conversation a little. ‘It is fun,’ Alicia agreed. ‘You’re fun to paint and fun to hang with, Jamie Butler. And the answers are pink, shrimp and avocado salad and I’m also a Pisces.’
‘And there you go.’ Jamie settled back a little more as if his work was done.
‘Indeed. Useless, huh?’
‘Kind of. So tell me your biggest fear.’
Alicia raised an eyebrow. He was joking, right?
‘Don’t worry.’ Jamie shot her a smile that put her heart at ease. ‘There’s harmless getting to know you and too much too soon, and that question is the latter.’
It was a relief that Jamie was joking and Alicia’s warm laughter intertwined with his. Then she was distracted by something outside the window. Something that made all the warmth bleed out of her soul.
Chapter 15
Jamie
‘Ugh.’ Alicia jolted her head away from the window.
Jamie looked and saw the older couple whose lodge she had been to for cocktails passing by the window. God knows where they were going in this weather, but as they caught sight of Jamie they did a double take, to which he responded with a little wave.
‘Oh no, don’t wave.’ Alicia flapped her hand at him. ‘They’ll think they’re being invited in.’
‘You’re not a fan?’
‘I am sure they’re fine, but I didn’t come here to get propositioned into threesomes by old desperados.’
‘You what?’ Jamie laughed and choked simultaneously.
‘Oh, it’s no big deal. But the other night, they wanted me to stay over. And not on the couch.’
‘Oh, shit! Is that why you were shaken when you appeared outside?’ He knew he’d sensed something.
‘Kind of. I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by. I really needed to, I don’t know, shelter. Feel safe.’
Feel safe.Alicia came to him to feel safe. Theweight of this responsibility was an honour that sat comfortably, if unexpectedly, with Jamie. She’d chosen him to protect her. He was just regretful he hadn’t done more. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘If I’d known what had happened, I’d have gone and spoken to them.’
‘No need. What you did was perfect.’
‘Which was?’
‘You were there. Talked to me. As I said, you made me feel safe.’
‘Well, I’ll have a word with him later.’ There was something about Dean and Diana bothering Alicia that bugged Jamie. ‘Just because his wife’s there, doesn’t mean it’s not harassment.’
