‘Aye, you can’t complain about a dram by the fire. And is business alright?’
‘Aye, I think so.’
‘You think so? Is everything okay with the company? With Dad.’ Cal worried that maybe his father had taken a downturn, and this was why he hadn’t yet shown face at his own party.
Jamie reassured him. ‘Things are fine with the business. I mean, we always want sales to be as strong as possible so we’re looking at ways to maximise those, but nothing that isn’t another day at the office.’
‘Right. And how’s Dad doing? You know, his health?’
‘As well as can be expected. Still trying his best to work as normal, but it’s early days. He’s only recently got the diagnosis.’
Cal nodded.
‘We’re all worried, but you know Dad; he’s got this way of making out like you’re the one thatheneeds to be worried about.’
‘I know. So then we have double the worry. We’re worried about his health and worried about how much he’s worrying about us and what we can do to stop that worry.’
‘Aye, something like that,’ Jamie chuckled.
‘I know you don’t fall into that category since you fell into line and didn’t let him down.’
‘Ah, well, it might surprise you to learn that I still feel I’ve let him down on a daily basis. I think it might be a hazard of having such a successful father. You never quite believe you can live up to his reputation.’
‘Tell me about it.’
‘You know, he is proud of you.’
Cal shot Jamie a look of surprise. ‘Aye, right.’
‘Of course he is. He’s always talking about his son who runs the bar – soon to be bars – in the city and how you’ve made sure the folks in Edinburgh are drinking Butler’s.’
‘I don’t think I’m the reason people are drinking Butler’s, but okay.’ Cal was glad he was having this conversation with Jamie. It was going some way to improving how he felt. Although he couldn’t take Jamie’s word for things. He would need to talk to his dad.
‘Speak of the devil.’ Jamie nodded to the door. Cal turned to see that his father had entered the room. He seemed smaller and more vulnerable, his tall frame diminished somehow, although to those who didn’t know him so well, such as Bea, he probably looked like a man of seventy rather than sixty. Cal could have sworn his father had shrunk a little. Seeing him like this, an incredible sense of guilt swooped over him. It didn’t matter what Jamie said, Cal wasn’t sure he could shift the niggling that he’d let his dad down somehow. This, compounded with the looming loss of Bea, made the foundations of Cal’s life disconcertingly unstable. And if there ever was a legacy of his childhood, it was that Cal would do anything to avoid that feeling, even if it meant painting over the cracks with the wrong colour of paint.
There were toasts to Jimmy Butler before the meal. As the eldest son, Cal was seated next to his father at the top end of the main table, Bea to his left, Eilidh to the left of her. The room buzzed with loud chatter.
‘How’re you doing, Dad?’ Cal asked as he watched his father watching everyone else.
‘Aye.’ Jimmy turned his attention slowly to Cal. ‘I’m … alright. Pretty much … the same as … the last time we spoke, which … could be good … or it could be bad.’
Cal noted that the protraction evident in his father’s voice was something new since he’d spoken to him on the phone a few weeks previous. It unnerved him, seeing his dad as anything less than robust and invincible.
‘I see you’re doing well though.’ Jimmy nodded towards Bea, having been introduced to her at pre-dinner drinks. Cal had only seen the conversation from across the room, and Bea hadn’t had time to fill him in on how it had gone. ‘And can I say that I fully approve? This woman is going to keep you on your toes, I can tell.’
Cal turned to Bea, who was smiling at his father’s words. He was right; they did like her, and she would appear to like his family, too. It was great, but it also wasn’t since it was a temporary fling and he’d have to let his dad down again and tell him that his firstborn couldn’t hold on to a woman.
‘Did you get a chance to look at that list I sent you? Of the therapists and stuff?’ Cal asked.
‘Aye, I looked.’ Jimmy nodded and met his son’s eyeline square on. He wasn’t avoiding the topic but he was also telling Cal that giving the list a cursory once over would be all he would do, or admit in public to having done. Cal couldn’t push the matter, certainly not in this context. He reached for his wine, hoping that something in the glass might help make this situation better.
‘How’s business?’ he asked as a detour that would hopefully lead back to the previous topic.
‘Things are grand,’ said Jimmy. ‘Jamie’s heading up a great team … and we’re expanding further into Japan. And, closer to home … maybe turning some of the old distillery cottages into holiday accommodation.’
‘That sounds great, Dad. Are you sure you can keep working, though?’
‘For the time being, aye.’ Jimmy reached for his glass of water and Cal could see that he didn’t have a firm grip on the glass. ‘I could do with a real drink, though.’
