‘The wee cow. You know I don’t think that about you, Sean.’
‘Do I?’ Sean spoke without accusation, but seriously. ‘I think you think I’m made of straw –that I’ll give under the slightest bit of pressure, that I don’t have the capacity to cope. You’ve decided that and, quite honestly, being underestimated pisses me off because I’m not that guy. I’m not your ex.’
‘I know, but you’ve told me you want a family and––’
‘Cherry.’ Sean had listened to Cherry a lot, but now it was his turn, so he forgave himself for interrupting her. ‘All we need right now is me and you. Our feelings for one another. Nobody knows what’s in the future. Not Jamie, Alicia, Cal, Bea, Carli. Niall, anyone. And quite honestly, if there was ever a point since meeting you that I could have let you go, it was probably around the vol-au-vents, and even then, I doubt it. If it was a question of some woman I had diluted feelings for and ten kids, or you and none, I’d choose you. Every fucking time.’
‘Oh.’ Her eyes darkened a little with surprise. How could she not know this? Had he not shown her the depth of his feelings?
‘Aye, oh. Tell me, what would you have done if the shoe had been on the other foot? If I’d told you, say, in that elevator, that I was shooting blanks?’
Now she brightened. ‘I’d have done anything with you in that elevator. It was you with all the self-control.’
Sean mentally banked to go back there one day and finish what they’d started. ‘There you are.’ He teased out some leaves and garden detritus from her hair.
‘I know, Seany. I know.’ She found his hand and gently stroked it in a way that almost had him stirring into the back of her neck. ‘Can we take it slow? The annulment is up in smoke, but I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t know how we work that exactly – maybe we keep separate rooms or something – until I get my head round things.’
‘Sure.’ Sean placed a leaf from her hair onto the blanket. He wouldn’t remind her of the irony, given that they’d had sex three times in one day. It was a move in the right direction. He’d give her time. Although, not forever; she would know that. ‘I’m going to take separate rooms as a reason to do it in lots of other places besides the bedroom.’
She laughed and rolled her neck very deliberately over his lap. ‘Sure, let’s start with love-swing-sex in, say, half an hour?’
One thing that was important to Sean, regardless of how fast they moved and where they ended up, was Cherry’s inner peace. It hadn’t escaped his thoughts that sorting one other aspect of her life, might help her peace of mind and their marriage.
‘So, listen, have you spoken to your mum since we saw her at the caravan site?’ he said a short time later as, still on the swing, they drank beer. The temperature was dippingconsiderably, and love swing sex hadn’t quite happened yet. There was always the couch.
‘Nope. She sent me a text about something to do with the tides, but we haven’t engaged in any meaningful conversation.’
‘Right, well, I was thinking…’
‘That’s really not necessary.’ Cherry blew across the opening of the beer bottle.
Sean smiled and kissed the crown of her head, catching notes of her blossomy shampoo. ‘Believe it or not, I think on a daily basis, so it wasn’t a stretch.’
She gazed up at him lazily, beer-softened. ‘Go on, then.’
‘Okay, you know the “colour my thingy” thing you’re hosting next week? Why don’t you invite your mum? She can stay here, get to know everyone and you guys can spend some quality time together.’
‘Mmm.’ Cherry nuzzled into his neck. ‘I’d like to colour your thingy.’
‘Cherry, I’m actually being serious here.’
‘Sorry.’ She pulled her face into a more sombre expression.
‘You might have a nice time with her. I know you think half of what she believes is bollocks, but it’s not like you’re buying into some sort of extremist ideology by inviting her round with her colour swatches, is it?’ God only knew what it would be like having Cherry and her mum together in the house, but if it helped mend their relationship, he would do it. He’d do anything for her.
‘No, I suppose not. But, Sean…’
‘Is this a new argument?’
‘No, but I can’t have her coming here and reminding me why she thinks I’m such a failure in life.’
Cherry’s insecurities ran deep –her mum was her onlyparent, and things had clearly been strained for many years – but all Sean had was straightforward solutions. Sometimes those were what worked best. ‘So, you tell her not to. You write her a letter––’
‘Nobody writes letters anymore.’
‘Your mum’s generation do. And it’s way more personal than an email. Write a letter inviting her here for a weekend. In the letter, say that you don’t want any card readings, but to focus on the positive – which is your marriage to me – and the future.’
Cherry raised an eyebrow. ‘Our marriage is the positive?’
