“Bali, you aren’t undesirable. However, all those questions need to be directed at Carter. He’s the only one that can answer them, baby. As your father, I always got’cho back. You know that shit. You let your emotions lead the way in your decision to do what you did. I just have one question.”
I rested my back against the door as I stared up at him. I nodded.
“How did you feel when you got the confirmation?”
I searched my soul and had even waited to see how I would feel when I’d gotten the message. I didn’t take time to evaluateexactlyhow I felt about it. I just knew that I wasn’t remorseful or regretful.
“Relieved. Proud of myself for taking shit in my own hands. Powerful.”
He nodded. “Okay. I’ll ask you again in a few days. One more question. Was it worth how you’re feeling now? Was it worth possibly losing Carter?”
I closed my eyes and felt my emotions trying to surface. I nodded repeatedly and sucked that shit up. “If he can’t understand why I did what I did, fuck him. I’ll make it in this life without him . . .” Lowering my head, allowing myself to feel, I whispered, “Even though I don’t want to.”
I opened my eyes and could see the sorrow in my daddy’s eyes as he stared at me. Opening the door, I asked, “Can you take me home?”
“Yeah.”
I turned to walk out and nearly ran into Jacob. He pulled me to him and hugged me tightly and kissed the side of my head. I pushed against him, because I was not trying to be in here crying. His gesture also let me know that he knew something about what was going on. Out of all the people in there, why was he the one to try to console me? Besides my brother and Ace, he was the only one of my cousins who had killed someone. Jess had as well, but it wasn’t intentional. That shit ate her up inside.
I walked away from him and headed to the door. Of course, my girls were quickly making their way to me. The two pregnant ones definitely needed to have a seat. I held my hand up and shook my head, halting them in their steps. I didn’t want to talk about Carter or his blow up. I needed him to understand me. I thought he did.
I supposed no man wanted a woman that was capable of doing what I’d done. Ihadto seek retribution for what that man allowed to be done to my sister and her mental. We all suffered in some way when we lost Indigo.Fuck him.
I stood at the passenger side of my daddy’s truck, waiting for him to join me. It took him a little longer than I thought it would, so someone must’ve stopped him along the way. I glanced at my phone, wanting to text Carter, then decided against it.
Once Daddy Mayor opened my door, I got inside and lowered my face to my hands. My relationship with Carter was probably done. I supposed it was a good thing we hadn’t gone to get married at the courthouse yet, like we’d planned.
I slid the ring off my finger and fiddled with it. When my daddy got in, he said, “Somehow, they were able to get Syn and the kids. I don’t know how Sidney and Shy did that shit, but they are on their way home.”
When he saw me fiddling with my ring, he grabbed my hand and gave it squeeze. I stared at him and allowed the tears I’d had in a chokehold to finally fall down my cheeks. I had possibly losta good man, but somehow, I would have to go on like he never had a hold of my heart . . . like he was never imbedded in my soul . . . like our love never existed.
CHAPTER 23
NONI
Iwas knocking hard on Bali’s door, and she refused to open that shit. I had a key, but she had the chain on. I yelled through it, but I knew she couldn’t hear me. She had her music loud to where she wouldn’t hear me. She had Z-Ro blasting. I slowly shook my head. Z-Ro was not the right nigga for her to be listening to right now. He would have her saying fuck everybody. Whether she knew it or not, she needed somebody to be there for her.
I took a deep breath and gave up. Bali was way more stubborn than me. I knew I was stubborn as hell. I didn’t know exactly what she and Carter were arguing about, but whatever it was, it was bad. I’d never seen Carter look so angry. I heard her say that Daddy knew, and Ali knew. If Ali knew, it could only be one thing.
As I walked to my house, it hit me like a ton of bricks. She had Ali looking into that pharmacist. I stopped walking and closed my eyes. She had that man killed. I stooped to the ground in my dress. I was feeling her heartache from here. I didn’t think she regretted what she did, but I felt like she was regretting it at the same time. She wasn’t upset that man was dead. She was upset that her actions may have caused her to lose Carter.
Red had dropped me home and left to go check on Carter. Even he said how angry Carter had to be to leave the way he did. I didn’t know where this would leave my sister’s mental. We were supposed to be celebrating Carter and Red this coming weekend and going to the NFR next weekend. God, I hated this.
I stood and walked back to my house to find Maui, Ashanni, and Milana standing there. We were all worried about her. I didn’t say anything to them. I just unlocked the door and let them go inside. We all sat on the couches and just stared into space until I said, “I think she had the pharmacist that approved the wrong prescription for you killed.”
Maui’s eyes widened, and she scooted to the edge of the couch. “What? There’s no way you said what I think you said.”
“I overheard her telling Carter that only Ali and Daddy knew. What exactly was it that Ali had to know? I knew she had him digging up dirt on that pharmacist, because she insisted that he had to know that bitch gave you the wrong prescription.”
Maui lowered her head. “I wish Treasure would have never told us what she said. None of this will bring Indigo back. I shouldn’t have told y’all.”
She started crying, and Milana pulled her in her arms. I leaned over and began rubbing circles on Ashanni’s belly. While I knew it was soothing to her, it was soothing me right now. I needed to be there for my sister, and she wasn’t allowing me to be.God please.
“Noni, did Carter break up with her?” Milana asked.
“He didn’t say he was. He just left. Like, he was talking and didn’t even finish saying what he wanted to say. He left mid-sentence. I want to believe that he was about to call it quits and decided to wait until he calmed down. He was so angry.”
“How did he find out?” Maui asked.
