When we come back from Mississippi, I think I’m gon’ propose to Bali. My family is meeting us at her parents’ house for dinner.
I huffed and threw the phone to the console. I was happy for my boy, but I couldn’t even celebrate right now. All I could think about was how I fucked everything up. The horrible part was I didn’t know if I would even be able to make changes quick enough. Noni had been patient with me and my fucked-up attitude for years. She may be all tapped out.
“Yo, you good? You kind of quiet, Carter said.
I glanced at him but didn’t bother to respond. When he turned in Bali’s driveway, I got out and got in the back seat. I wanted to go get in the trailer, so I didn’t have to be in this truck with the two of them. Had the rodeo been closer, I would’ve driven myself. Mississippi was too far to be taking multiple vehicles. That was unnecessary.
I turned my attention to the house next door.Noni’s house.When her door at the side entrance opened, my heart rate took off for the races. I wanted to run to her and beg her forgiveness. For some reason, I couldn’t make my body move to even open the door. I just stared at her. She looked over at the truck, and she quickly turned her head. She knew I was in here.
I couldn’t peel my gaze away from her. She looked so beautiful in her jeans and boots. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was coming with us. When Bali and Carter came out of the house, they waved at Noni, and Carter opened the passenger door for Bali. I was sure to sit right behind her, so we didn’t even have to see each other for the six-hour drive. Honestly, I couldn’t bear looking at her.
She and Noni were identical. Bali was maybe a half inch taller, and her face was rounder. Other than that, there weren’t any noticeable differences. She got in and didn’t bother to even look at me. That was perfect for me. The minute Carter closed her door, though, she turned in her seat and glared at me. I could tell she wanted to say something, but she was restraining herself.
We had six hours to endure one another’s presence in this truck. Once we got to the rodeo, we could go our separate ways and not see each other until it was time to head back. I stared right back at her because I wasn’t a bitch ass nigga. However, I believed she could see the hurt in my eyes, because her frown eased a bit.
Once Carter opened his door, she turned back around in her seat. I turned my attention back to Noni’s house to see her backing out of the driveway. Grabbing my phone, I sent her a text, just in case she decided to unblock me for whatever reason.I love you, girl.
“A’ight. Let’s roll,” Carter said. “Of course, we gon’ stop in Louisiana, probably Lafayette, to get some food. Ain’t no way I’m missing out on no cracklin’. I’m gon’ have to talk to Aunt Jen and Aunt Chrissy about doing cracklin’.”
“Then all of y’all will be at the clinic for high blood pressure and high cholesterol,” Bali said.
Carter chuckled as he backed out of the driveway and headed to Highway 90. We ended up right behind Noni at the light. When it turned green, she stuck her hand out of the window and waved as she kept straight, and we turned right. Carter blew his horn, and we headed east.
He and Bali were yapping like they hadn’t seen each other in months, and I was doing my best to tune them out. I was just hoping I had a decent run tomorrow at the rodeo, because my time sucked at practice yesterday. I was getting six seconds repeatedly. My dad and Uncle Legend were fussing and cussing,but Carter was just staring at me. He knew my mental was still fucked up.
I hadn’t talked to Noni in three days, and I was fucked up big time. Even though I knew that shit was my fault, it didn’t make it any easier. I wanted to hold her in my arms and kiss her neck. I wanted to make love to her. Sexually, she was so pure, the total opposite of me. I was the only man to grace her walls. I could only pray that I would be the last.
CHAPTER 9
BALI
The trip to Mississippi was uneventful. After a couple of hours, I went to sleep. Had I heard “Welcome To the Country” one more time, I would have gone off. Carter thought it was funny to listen to it over and over, since the opening line was ‘welcome to the Sip,’ i.e. Mississippi. Had I stayed awake, I would have thrown his phone out the window.
Plus, I could only talk so much, especially with that nigga sitting behind me. I wish he’d sat behind Carter so I could keep an eye on his ass. I knew he was probably making faces and shit behind me. He looked like a lovesick puppy when I got in the truck, but I felt like all that shit was an act. For him to try to clown Noni about “ignoring” him while we were worried about Uncle Marcus was fucked up.
He was gon’ really fuck up at this rodeo, though, because Noni changed her mind and decided to still come. She just refused to ride with us. She rode with Milana, Ferris, Asad, and some nigga named Brian. He was Asad’s former coworker at the news station. I honestly thought he was on the hunt. Ashanni had said that he and his lady didn’t work out for whatever reason. He would find all types of women at the rodeo.
Carter and Red had gone to check in, and I’d gotten in the trailer while I waited for my people to get here. I knew they weren’t that far behind us. Aunt Tiff and Uncle Ryder were supposed to be coming also, not to mention the Semiens. I told Maui to stay home. Her blood pressure was picking up again. I thought it was because of all the bullshit last time, and that could have very well been the case, but we didn’t need a repeat.
She didn’t seem to be stressed, so I didn’t know why it was spiking. I should have her bloodwork results on Monday. I also had Watchful Eyes looking into that fucking pharmacist that looked the other way when that bitch fucked with her meds. There was no way he didn’t know, and I wasn’t going to stop until I found something he could be prosecuted for, even if it had nothing to do with Maui. I hadn’t even told Maui that I was doing that.
I also told her to order some Legos. She’d looked at me like I was crazy. I heard, just like coloring, playing with them could relieve stress in adults. I told her whatever she could do to occupy her time to where she had to focus on what she was doing would function as a stress reliever. Depending on what her bloodwork said would determine if I put her on meds or not.
Indigo would have been here by now, and we would have had a niece to love on. That funeral was so fucking hard. I even sympathized with Mythic. I could clearly see how much he loved my sister and how much he already loved their baby. Watching him hold her little body had me practically running to my office to fall apart that day.
As I thought about Maui, I sent her a text to make sure she was okay.Hey. How are you feeling?
I’m good. My Legos came in today. Ashanni and I are sitting here trying to see how we are going to put them together.
Good. We got to the Sip about an hour ago.
Immediately after I texted that, I rolled my eyes. That fucking song was going to be on my mind for the rest of the day.
Okay. Y’all have fun. FaceTime us for Lana’s event.
I will.
I turned some music on to try to get that fucking song off my mind and settled on “Safe” by Cardi B. That song described exactly how I felt with Carter. My heart and emotions were safe with him. Nothing I ever told him got repeated to anyone. With as much as Red ran his mouth, I was more than sure if he knew anything personal about me, I would have heard it repeated by now. He reminded me of Seven sometimes.
