“It’s the truth.” He stood, needing distance. “I let myself get distracted. Let myself believe we could have something normal when I should havebeen vigilant. And now you’re in danger again because of my mistakes.”
“Your mistakes?” Nora stood too, anger flashing in her eyes. “You’re the one who caught Eugene in the first place. Who shot him to save my life. Who’s been protecting me since the beginning. This isn’t on you.”
“Yes, it is! That’s my job—to protect people. To catch criminals and make sure they stay caught. And I failed. Just like I failed Lily.”
There it was. The truth he’d been avoiding.
Nora’s expression softened. “This isn’t about Lily.”
“Isn’t it? Every time I care about someone, every time I try to protect them, I fail. My sister disappeared on my watch. My dad died because I wasn’t there. And now Eugene is out there because I let my guard down.”
She reached out, covering his hand with her own. “Carson, you can’t control everything. You can’t save everyone. And you can’t live your entire life trying to make up for something that wasn’t your fault to begin with.”
He pulled away, severing their connection. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.” She moved closer, reaching for his hand again. “Tell me what you’re so afraid of.”
“I’m afraid of losing you!” The words burst out of him, raw and desperate. “I’m afraid that if I let myself love you—really love you—something willhappen and you’ll be taken from me just like everyone else I’ve cared about. And I don’t know if I can survive that.”
Tears welled in Nora’s eyes. “So your solution is to push me away first? To protect yourself by keeping me at arm’s length?”
“It’s safer.”
“For who? You?” She pulled her hands free. “Because from where I’m standing, you’re not protecting me. You’re protecting yourself from getting hurt. And in the process, you’re hurting both of us.”
The words hit like a physical blow. Because she was right. He was protecting himself. Building walls because losing her would break him in ways he couldn’t fix.
“I don’t know how to do this,” Carson admitted quietly. “How to love someone and not lose them. How to be what you need without the fear consuming me.”
“You start by trusting me. By letting me in instead of shutting me out.” Nora moved back to him, placing her hands on his chest. “I’m not Lily. I’m not your father. I’m here, right now, choosing you. Choosing us. But you have to meet me halfway.”
Carson covered her hands with his. “What if I fail again? What if Eugene gets to you and I can’t stop him?”
“Then we face that together. But you don’t get to make me feel like loving you is a mistake because you’re scared of losing me.”
She was right. About all of it. He’d been so focused on protecting her that he’d forgotten she was a person with her own agency. Her own choices.
Her own right to be part of the decisions affecting her life.
“I’m sorry,” Carson said. “You’re right. I’ve been shutting you out because I’m terrified. But that’s not fair to you.”
“No, it’s not.” But her voice was gentler now. “I’m scared too, Carson. I’m terrified that Eugene is out there, that he’s coming for me, that everything we built is going to fall apart. But I’d rather face that fear with you than hide from it alone.”
Carson pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Probably not.” She pressed her face into his chest. “But you’re stuck with me anyway.”
They stood there, wrapped around each other, finding comfort in the contact. After a moment, Nora pulled back to look at him.
“Come to bed,” she said. “Not to sleep necessarily. Just to be together. To remind ourselves why we’re fighting so hard for this.”
Carson kissed her forehead. “Okay.”
They went to the bedroom, and Carson lay down next to her, pulling her close. She tuckedherself against his chest, her fingers tracing patterns on his shirt.
“Tell me something good,” Nora said quietly. “Something about the future. About what happens after we catch Eugene.”
“What do you want to happen?”
