Had to trust that whatever happened was what was supposed to happen.
Even if it broke his heart.
That was growth too. Accepting outcomes he couldn’t control. Trusting the process instead of trying to manipulate every variable.
Dr. Carpenter would be proud.
But would Nora?
Tomorrow, he’d find out.
Chapter 24
Carson arrived at the park thirty minutes early.
He couldn’t help it. Nervous energy had driven him from the apartment before he could second-guess himself. He found a bench overlooking the lake—the same lake where he’d gone fishing during his leave—and tried to steady his breathing.
Two weeks. Two weeks of therapy, of self-reflection, of trying to become someone who could have a healthy relationship.
Was it enough?
He didn’t know. But it was all he had to offer.
At 1:45, he saw her. Nora walked across the grass toward him, and Carson’s heart clenched. She looked beautiful—jeans, a soft blue sweater, her hair down around her shoulders. But also guarded. Cautious.
Like she was preparing for disappointment.
“Hi,” she said, stopping a few feet away.
“Hi.” Carson stood, resisting the urge to pull her into his arms. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“Of course.” She gestured to the bench. “Should we sit?”
They sat with careful distance between them. Not touching. Not quite looking at each other directly.
“You look good,” Nora said finally. “Rested.”
“I’ve been sleeping. Actually sleeping. Eight hours a night.” He managed a small smile. “Turns out that’s important.”
“Revolutionary concept for you.”
“Yeah.” He turned to face her more fully. “Nora, I need to say something before we talk about anything else. I’m sorry. For choosing the job over you. For making promises I couldn’t keep. For being so consumed by work that I forgot you needed me too.”
“I know you’re sorry—”
“No, let me finish. Please.” He took a breath. “I’ve spent two weeks in therapy. Really working on myself. And I learned something important. I wasn’t just obsessed with work. I was using work to avoid dealing with grief and guilt I’ve been carrying since I was seventeen. Since Lily disappeared and my dad died. I’ve been trying to save everyone else to make up for the people I couldn’t save. And it’s been destroying me. Destroying us.”
Nora’s expression softened slightly. “Carson—”
“I can’t promise I’m completely fixed,” he hurried on. “Two weeks of therapy doesn’t undo nineteen years of trauma. But I can promise I’m doing the work. Really doing it. Not just when you’re watching. Not just until the next big case. I’m committed to changing. To being someone who can have a life outside the badge.”
“What does that look like? Practically?”
She was asking questions. He’d take that as a good sign.
“I’ve set boundaries with work. I’m back tomorrow, but I’ve talked to Captain Holloway. I’m taking weekends off unless there’s an absolute emergency. I’m delegating more. Trusting my team to handle things without me micromanaging. And I’m continuing therapy twice a week for the foreseeable future.”
“That’s good. Really good.” Nora looked out at the lake. “Carson, boundaries and therapy are great. But I need to know if you’ve actually internalized why this matters. Why choosing me sometimes isn’t a betrayal of victims or your duty. Why having a life matters.”
