“More than anything.”
“Then you need to figure out what you’re willing to sacrifice. Because you can’t keep doing what you’ve been doing and expect different results.” His voice softened. “I’ll see you at the station. And don’t make any rash decisions until we talk.”
***
Nora woke up on Lila’s couch with swollen eyes and a headache.
“Coffee,” Lila said, appearing with a mug. “And ibuprofen. And possibly wine later, depending on how today goes.”
“It’s seven AM.”
“I said possibly. I’m not a monster.” Lila sat in the armchair across from her. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I made a huge mistake. Or did exactly the right thing. I can’t tell which.”
“Both can be true.” Lila sipped her own coffee. “Do you regret leaving?”
“I regret needing to leave. I don’t regret the actual leaving, if that makes sense.” Nora pulled the blanket tighter around herself. “I couldn’t stay and keep hoping he’d change. I’d lose myself completely.”
“So what now?”
“I don’t know. I told him I needed time to think. To figure out if I can live with who he is, or if I need to walk away for good.”
“And can you? Live with who he is?”
Nora thought about Carson. About the way he held her at night. About his fierce protectiveness. About the man he was when he wasn’t consumed by work.
“I love him,” she said quietly. “But I don’t love the version of him that chooses the job every single time. That makes promises he can’t keep. That disappears into cases and forgets I exist.”
“That’s fair.”
“Is it though? Because the job is important. Those victims need him. Justice matters. Am I being selfish for wanting him to choose me sometimes?”
“No. You’re being human. Wanting someone you love to show up for you isn’t selfish, Nora. It’s basic.” Lila set down her coffee. “Look, I get that Carson’s job is intense. That he helps people who desperately need help. But you need him too. And if he can’t see that, if he can’t find any balance, then maybe you’re not compatible.”
“I don’t want that to be true.”
“I know. But wanting something to work and it actually working are different things.”
Nora’s phone buzzed. A text from Carson:Captain wants you at the press conference today. 10 AM. You were indirectly affected by Shaw’s corruption. You deserve to be there. I understand if you don’t want to see me, but I hope you’ll come.
She showed Lila the message.
“Are you going to go?”
“I don’t know. Part of me wants to. Wants to see Shaw face consequences for enabling Eugene. But part of me can’t face seeing Carson right now.”
“You don’t have to decide anything today. About Carson, about the relationship, about any of it.” Lila stood. “Take a shower. I’ll make breakfast. And then we can figure out whether you want to go to this press conference or not.”
***
The station was chaos when Carson arrived.
Press had gotten word of Shaw’s arrest. Reporters were already gathering outside. The DA’s office had sent representatives to coordinate the announcement.
“This is big,” Finn said, appearing at Carson’s desk. “Former police captain arrested for decades of corruption. It’s going to be national news.”
“Good. Shaw deserves to be exposed.” Carson pulled up his computer, trying to focus on work instead of the empty apartment he’d come home to last night.
