“I don’t know if I can fix it.”
“Then you better figure it out. Because cases come and go, Carson. But a woman like Nora? She’s once in a lifetime. Don’t lose her because you’re too stubborn to change.”
Carson drove home, rehearsing apologies in his head. Trying to find words that would make Nora understand why he’d left this morning. Why the case had mattered so much.
But even to himself, the words sounded hollow.
The apartment was quiet when he entered. One lamp on. Nora sitting on the couch, waiting.
“You caught him,” she said. Not a question.
“Yeah. Shaw and Maggie are both in custody. They’ll face trial for everything they did.”
“Good. Those victims deserve justice.”
Carson sat next to her, careful to leave space. “Nora, about this morning—”
“I got the contract. With the startup. Six months, good money, exactly the kind of work I wanted.” She looked at him. “You’re the first person I wanted to tell. But you weren’t here. You were catching Shaw.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you are. But being sorry isn’t enough anymore.” She turned to face him fully. “I need to know if you can actually change. Not promise to change. Not try to change. Actually do it.”
“I want to. I do.”
“But can you? Can you trust your team to handle cases without you? Can you come home at reasonable hours? Can you choose me sometimes instead of always choosing the job?”
Carson wanted to say yes. Wanted to promise he couldbe better.
But looking at her—at the woman he loved, the woman who deserved so much more than he’d been giving her—he wasn’t sure he could honestly make that promise.
“I don’t know,” he said finally. “I want to. But I’ve been like this for nineteen years. It’s who I am. And I don’t know if I can fundamentally change who I am.”
Tears spilled down Nora’s cheeks. “That’s the first honest thing you’ve said to me in weeks.”
“I love you. That’s honest too.”
“I know. But love isn’t enough if you can’t show up for me. If you can’t be present. If I’m always going to come second to the job.” She wiped her eyes. “I’ve spent my whole life coming second. To foster parents who didn’t really want me. To systems that failed me. To people who didn’t believe me. And I can’t do it anymore. Not even for you.”
Carson felt panic rising in his chest. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need time. Space. To figure out if I can live with who you are, or if I need to walk away before I lose myself completely trying to love you.”
“Nora—”
“I’m going to stay with Lila for a few days. Give us both space to think about what we really want.” She stood. “I love you, Carson. But I love myself too. And I can’t keep sacrificing my needs for yours.”
“Please don’t go.”
“I have to. Because if I stay, I’ll keep hoping you’ll change. Keep making excuses for why the job always comes first. And eventually, I’ll wake up and realize I’ve disappeared. That I’ve become someone who only exists in the spaces between your cases.” She moved to the bedroom to pack. “I deserve more than that. We both do.”
Carson sat on the couch, frozen. This was really happening. Nora was leaving. And he had no idea how to stop her.
Because she was right. He couldn’t promise to change. Couldn’t guarantee the job wouldn’t always win.
This was who he was. Who he’d been for nineteen years.
And maybe—maybe that meant he couldn’t be what she needed him to be.
