She struggled to breathe as her heart beat faster, her temperature rising and that coil tightening a little more inside with his every quiet word. Every movement of his hips. She wanted those things, too. She wanted all of them.
Not just for tonight.
“You’re taking me so well, Jenna,” he said, lips beside her ear. “But I’m gonna pick up the pace now.”
She opened her mouth as he snapped his hips forward, the motion sharper and rougher than before, and something like a strangled cry escaped her. Her back bowed, her body responding on instinct, and her legs lifted to curl around his hips. He kept his promise, not lingering in the aftermath but rather falling into a faster, deeper rhythm.
His lips moved down her throat, nipping and sucking.
Jenna lost track of the sounds ripping from her soul, lost track of reality, as everything narrowed down to the burning, all-consuming pleasure Jon delivered. He stayed over her, so close his tags were flat against her breastbone and her boobs were smashed into his chest. It was a full-sensory experience.
“Don’t fight it, baby,” he whispered, back at her ear, his breath hot on her skin. “Come with me.” He bent his head and pressed his lips to her shoulder, his next words nearly inaudible beneath the thunder of her heartbeat. “I’m gonna fill you up, Jen. I’m gonna fill you so full tonight, you’re gonna have me running down your perfect fucking thighs all day tomorrow.”
That was all it took. That dangerous, sinful combination of words, timed with another grinding thrust, sent her careening into ecstasy. She clung to him as best she could, his name pouring from her as tears suddenly rushed up behind her eyes.
She almost missed the deep, growling groan of her name as his body trembled above hers and his cock pulsed within her tightly gripping walls.
A strange sob escaped her as their bodies stilled, and Jon’s grip immediately laxed.
“Fuck, Jen, was I too rough?” He released one of her hands, running his fingers over it as if checking for injury.
She wanted to tell him no, he hadn’t been. She had in fact enjoyed every moment. But his tender, almost cautious touch only made her tears come harder.
He pushed up to his elbows and cupped her cheek with one hand, searching her face. “What is it, baby? Why are you crying?”
Jenna lifted her arms and managed to latch her hands onto his shoulders. She tightened the grip of her legs around his waist. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t— I’m not upset, I promise.” She sucked in a breath and tried again as Jon stroked a thumb over her cheek. “I just … everything…”Get your words together, Jenna!
Jon leaned down and pressed his forehead gently to hers. “Breathe with me.”
She let herself close her eyes and focused on matching her breathing to his. It took a moment, but her tears slowed to a stop. She dragged her hands up to his jaw, a smile lifting her lips, and blurted, “I never stopped loving you.”
Because they were so close, she heard his sharper intake of breath.
Shit, I did not mean to admit that!She really was her own worst enemy sometimes.
Jon lowered his hand to press the heel of his palm to her jaw and applied just enough pressure to tilt her head as he moved his own. His lips settled over hers, the kiss soft but lingering. Tender where before it had been hungry. And far too brief.
Her eyes fluttered open … and he rolled off.
Jon wondered if he would ever hear Jenna profess her love without a stomach-churning pang of guilt. Guilt that was all the more confusing because he’d always done everything he could to prevent the pain, and yet still, he knew he’d hurt her. He’d never done anything malicious; couldn’t fathom raising his hand or otherwise willfully harming her. He’d been straightforward in their youth, as honest as he knew how to be. None of that mattered in the end.
He’d hurt her. Her tears were proof. Her hesitancy was proof.
And knowing he’d hurt her, hurt him. So much more than it had ever hurt during the years when he’d thought he needed to try and forget her, to try and move on.
Jon caught her thigh as it threatened to slide off him when he rolled, wedged his other arm beneath her shoulders, and hauled Jenna on top of him. She gasped, her glassy eyes blowing wide and proving she hadn’t expected that movement. He let both his hands slide over her skin, already addicted to her softness, until her hair was tangled in his fingers and he had hold of her face again.
She rolled her abused lip between her teeth for a beat and whispered, “I didn’t mean to say that.”
He smiled. “But you meant what you said.”
She hummed a confirmation, her fingers curling over his chest.
“Jen,” he said, keeping his voice as gentle as he knew how, “if I could go back and change one thing, I’d take you with me. We would’ve had to wait until you were also eighteen, but I had some down time in my second year. We could have worked out asmall wedding, made it official, and that way I could have taken you with me when I was shipped overseas. I don’t know if you’d have loved that so much, and I’m not saying it would’ve been easy, but…” He trailed off, not wanting to segue too far from his point. But, fuck, he wished he could have spared her the pain she’d gone through. Hopefully she knew, at least, he would never lay a hand on her.
“You never wanted that life,” Jenna said, still whispering. “I knew. I always knew.”
Jon tugged her down until he could breathe her in again, letting one hand slide behind her head and the other trail down her back. “I thought I was sparing you pain. I thought I was giving you a shot at a better, more open future.” His hand fisted in her hair. “And I thought I could give you up … if it was for your sake.” It turned out knowing the career he’d wanted had not meant he hadn’t still been an idiot.
